Monday, May 24, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Twilight gets gay porn parody called “Twinklight.”

Posted: 24 May 2010 01:41 PM PDT


Twilight is one of the most successful tween movie franchises in the history of mankind. The story is about some girl who is in a love triangle with some Vampires and Some Wolf Bro. It seems like this plotline lends itself well to TWINKLIGHT: the new porn parody of the Twilight series. Sorta wanna ‘experiment with my sexuality’, and get into some really dark vampire kinda vibes, then turn ghey, then ‘blow my load’ while watching these twinks.

R u a homosexual?
R u a vampire?
Do u like fake blood?
Do u like fangs on your penis when it is erect?
Really unsure if this is supposed to appeal to Twilight Fans (who are typically teenage girls) or if it is just supposed to be aimed at hornie gay bros who wanna have this on in the background of their local gay bar.

The characters seem to have ‘really good vibes.’ They seem like great actors, but also like ‘you can pound their lil butt holes and treat them like slaves’, which I have read is the most appealing part of a twink.

Glad they have a wolf bro.

Really hope they have this DVD at my local redbox.

Did Twinklight ‘get u hard/hornie’?
Is ‘gay porn’ a more lucrative industry than ’straight porn’?
Would you make love to ‘Bella’ if she was a twink?
Will the Twilight community of tweenage girls be into this product?
Will Twinklight have an indie soundtrack featuring some of the best homosexual indie artists?

Some guy in an indie band puts his ass in Lindsay Lohan’s face to ‘get press/blog hits’

Posted: 24 May 2010 09:46 AM PDT

Link: http://www.viceland.com/blogs/en/2010/05/21/the-almighty-defenders-give-lindsay-lohan-a-faceload-of-ass/
Link: http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/lindsay_lohan_parties_france#tab=most_recent&id=69837


I always see that King Khan guy on indie music websites, but I feel confused by his personal brand, so I have never really listened to his music. Feel like I am more into the ‘cookie cutter grown ass altbro’ type of a musician, as opposed to minorities / heavy set dudes /etc. Apparently he is just one of those bands from Atlanta who ‘don’t give a fuck abt society’ and just have outrageous personal brands. Like the kind of dudes who get naked together, destroy stuff, then ejaculate together. Like they are living in some sort of post-society.

Anyways, King Kahn ’stuck his ass’ in Lindsay Lohan’s face while they were partying 2gether in France. Wonder what they have in common? Being musicians? Having a similar upbringing / background? Doing ‘tons of drugs’?

Wonder if he ‘took a shit on her’ or maybe she ‘did blow off his ass crack.’ Maybe she just stuck her snout in and ‘tossed that salad’ or something. Really unsure of what these types of people do, but it kinda ‘turns me on’ and ’scares me.’

Seems like she is ‘embarrassed’ to have a brown ass in her face. Like this is ‘the absolute lowest point of her life.’
Feel like Lindsay Lohan hanging with this bro is sorta the equivalent of a mainstreamer girl in high school ‘laughing at’ a zany dork with an outrageous personal brand, like getting him to do ‘dumb shit’ just to make her laugh, but then he thinks he will ‘get those sweet knockers in his face’ by prom night.

Does he have the perfect alternative ass?
Do u think this is what King Khan will be remembered for until his career dies?
Does n e 1 know what his music sounds like?
Is he just in one of those bands that ‘look interesting’ in photos because he is not built like most indie artists and wears weird ass shit on stage?

Do u wish you could party at Cannes with relevant celebrities?
Who is the most famous person u have ever mooned?
Will Lindsay Lohan ‘get down’ with any1, no matter what color, size, gender, race, profession, or personal brand?
Will King Khan ever write an mp3 as great as this Lindsay Lohan meme?

New Alt Deer DJ transcending the electro scene, getting tons of blog buzz

Posted: 24 May 2010 09:02 AM PDT

Photo by the cobrasnake


There is apparently a new Deer DJ who is ‘tearing up’ the electro scene. Last weekend, he played a relevant club in the greater Los Angeles metro area, and seemed to have acquired a lot of fans. He threw down a ’sick nasty’ set with a mix of bangers, ravewave, chillcore, techno haus, and post-bloghaus. He handed out free mix CDs and USB drives that were fully loaded with digital media strengthening his brand. He even included a PDF file that was a ‘press kit’ for his DJ brand.

Do u think this deer is the victim of suburban development? Like he used to live in a forest, but then they built a subdivision and he was adopted by an uppermiddleclass family. Now he went away to college in a relevant city, got wrapped up in the scene, and now he is trying to ‘make it’ as a DJ / electro act?

Seems like anonymous animals are ‘taking over the indie and DJ scene.’ After Daft Punk’s “Human After All”, fans are no longer interested in humans. The want ‘anonymous alt animals’ who represent ‘getting back 2 nature.’ I feel like the ‘deer brand’ might be a response to the emerging post-emo trend of ‘people who think the are wolves.’ [link]

Do yall know what the name of this DJ is?
a) DJ Deer Bro
b) DJ Bambi
c) DJ Doe Deer [via Crystal Castles]
d) DEERHAUS
e) Silence the Hunters
f) The World’s First Deer iPad DJ
g) DJ Deerhunter bro
h) DJ Antler wave
i) Doe Ass Slut
j) Steve Deeroki
k) JusticeDeer
l) Daft Deer
m) Neon Deer
n) Chill Deer
o) Banger Deer
p) Washed Deer
q) Pitchfork deer
r) Deer Runoff
s) Deer Vs. Bear
t) Dear83
u) Choose.Ur.Own.Response

Is a Deer DJ more talented than a human DJ because they used hooves / dont have fingers + a thumb?
Are Deer bros taking away real human jobs?
Are you worried that the wolf people will eat relevant deer?
Do yall buy into the new trend of deer DJs?
Is this just ’some other masked DJ gimmick’?
Are yall on #TeamDeer or #TeamWolf?

She & Him pointlessly perform on Carson Daly even though they have already been on real talk shows

Posted: 24 May 2010 06:40 AM PDT


From what I understand, Carson Daly’s late night show is ‘the absolute worst’ slot in late night television. Many late night TV viewers usually opt for infomercials and soft porn as opposed to watching him interview C rate celebrities, and watching C rate bands perform. He used to be responsible for the ‘late night television debuts’ of many internet indie buzz artists, but now that Jimmy Fallon has cornered that market, Carson Daly’s show is ’sorta useless.’

Many PR firms of indie buzzbands probably decline invitations to Carson Daly because ‘no1 even watches it.’ Feel like u sorta ‘compromise ur credibility’ when ur band is like ‘ya, we wanna be on TV really bad. So many new markets available at 3 a.m.’ [via hornie bros who get hard and buy Girls Gone Wild DVDs].

Not sure why She & Him decided to perform on Carsbro Daly, even though they have already been on every other ‘real’ late night talk show. Sorta a weird place to end up, but maybe they got confused and thought they were gonna be on MTV, Carson Daly’s previous employer. Feel like ‘being in heavy rotation’ on MTV might sell u more albums. Maybe they thought they were gonna be interviewed on Total Request Live.

Is Carson Daly ‘authentic’?
Is performing on Carson Daly sorta like performing at an empty gig?
Do u feel bad that Carson Daly doesn’t have a ’studio’ and just has to send camera men ‘on location’ to catch live performances?
Should Carson Daly ‘be fired’?

Do u like Zooey’s latest looks? Are you into her showing off her sweet indie bod in backless dresses?

Honestly just feels good 2 see Zooey Deschanel hopping around, jimmy jangling a tambourine again.

Performance and song seem mad forgettable. Everytime I hear She & Him, it sounds ‘honkier and honkier’ [via white people]. Feel like they could make their music more interesting by singing hateful slurs about minorities groups, particularly with Zooey Deschanel’s froggy croonwave voice.

Do u know any1 who would go see She & Him live other than to ’see Ben Gibbard hanging out on the side of the stage getting hammered’?
Should She & Him’s PR director be ‘instantly fired’ for letting their band appear on Carson Daly?
Is Carson Daly ‘past his prime’?
Is this ‘the end’ of She & Him’s album cycle?
Will Zooey Deschanel be in more indie movies to help out her band?
Will she ‘kick out’ the other bro in the band so she can market herself as a ’sex icon’ [via Lady Gaga / Feist]?

LCD Soundsystem gives fans ‘free balloons’ at recent concert to make experience ‘more meaningful.’

Posted: 24 May 2010 06:02 AM PDT

More Photos at Brooklyn Vegan
Photos by Andrew Frisicano


LCD Soundsystem recently performed live in some city, probably a ‘relevant one’ like Brooklyn, Los Angeles, Iowa City or Salt Lake City, Utah. In order to make the live experience ‘more memorable’ for fans / to create better photographs that would last forever on the internet, James Murphy decided to ‘mastermind’ a balloon drop on all of the fans. Seems like this would provide fans with an item that was not only free, but also ‘more personal’ than just buying random ‘merch.’

I am usually aware of my surroundings, so I noticed early on that there would be a balloon drop. Felt excited, anticipating the ‘meaningful moment’ when the balloons would fall on the commonfolk, replicating the feeling of when free mp3s ‘rain down on us’ from the internet.

I reached towards the sky as the balloons began to fall. Many people batted around the balloons as if they were beach balls [via a music festival], but they didn’t realize that these were limited edition LCD Soundsystem balloons filled with .

Have yall ever done heroin?
Why does it come in balloons? So that u can stick them up ur butt?

Does n e 1 know when is the most authentic time to ‘execute’ a balloon drop? Right before the encore? Final song of encore? When ur band starts 2 play “Do U Realize?”

Feel like I wish I could be age 1-19 again, so a balloon drop could ‘feel meaningful.’ Except it would probably be when my local sports franchise won ‘the championship.’ Might also mix in some confetti.

Are balloons a more authentic indie prop than the toilet paper launcher [via leaf blower]?

Which ‘prop’ is more ‘green’?

Is this gimmick by LCD Soundsystem going to be replicated at all of their tour stops, or did they only do this because it went down in a ‘relevant city’?
Should all indie bands have ‘balloon drops’ to stimulate the crowd?
Do the pix of balloons make u wish u were there so u could tweet about how beautiful the white ballons were?
Will LCD Soundsystem be the #1 album in America?

Always feel kinda bad or the 1 balloon that ‘gets left behind’ and doesn’t get to chill with all of the other balloons.

Feel like that’s sorta a metaphor 4 my life.

It’s chill though. Don’t really want to ‘fit in’ with the crowd. Feel like all of the balloons in this picture are ‘mainstreamers.’

(but 4 real, I caught a balloon and I tied it 2 my ceiling fan when I got home. It is spinning around my room right now, reminding me of how Jimmy Bro [what I call James Murphy) totes ‘killed it’ and ‘nailed it’ at the same time during the show.)
Have yall ever done , stared at ur ceiling fan, and thought about memories from better days?