Thursday, March 17, 2011

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF St. Patrick's Day Alt QT Contest

Posted: 17 Mar 2011 05:29 PM PDT


Searching for
the next HRO alt QT
The VALENTINES DAY CONTEST has morphed into the St Patty's Day Contest

In order to enter into this phase of the St Patty's Day contest:
1. Take photo of urself holding a sign that says something buzzworthy/ a relevant alt meme reference
2. email to carleser [at] gmail.com
3. Compete to win prizes such as a modeling contract with the now defunct I AM CARLES brand and other prizes described in this post.

Who will u vote for in the St Patty's Day contest?

The entrants from the #Valentine's Day contest will receive additional 'buzz votes' based on their hashtag votes within the comments.
New entrants should include "#challenge" in their email subject line 2 Carles.

Who is totes Keut???!

#aliceglassQT

#ArcadeFireGrammyBB

#PizzaHutAlt

#UnChillPaneraBro

#UnderneathThePineBro

#Canoodler

#InTheButt

#LetsGoOutback2nite

#PizzaHeart

#WhateverQT

#CeraBeanieBB

#ToroYCarles

#Buzzbitch

#QueenOfLimbs (Formerly known as #IHatePeens)

#Slutwaver

BONUS #Slutwaver

#Sunflower_Alt_QT

#SnacksTheCatGirl

Who should win?
Who has had ur heart since the Valentine's Day contest era?
Will a new St Patty Wave contestant 'win' the contest?
Who should be the new face of the now defunct I AM CARLES brand?
R u going 2 #Challenge these QTs?

Tween fans get totally excited 2 see the Strokes at SXSW in Austin, TX

Posted: 17 Mar 2011 04:50 PM PDT

Link: http://twitter.com/#!/N_Fraiture


It seems like this herd of tweens is hella pumped about the upcoming Strokes show at South By Southwest, a popular music art + technology festival that is happening in Austin, TX. In order to prove that they are the most authentic fans in the world, this pack of tweens made a colorful sign that shows their allegiance to Nikolai Fraiture, requesting the most alt song possible about the most alt member of The Strokes.

Here is the song "Nikolai Broke the Zoom", sang by Fabrizio Moretti.

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Are Strokes concerts just filled with alt tweens now?
Is Nikolai the 'most alt stroke' 2 like?
Will the Strokes win the trophy for 'best act at sxsw'?
Do these tweens know more abt buzzbands because they are at SXSW?
Is Nikolai totally haute?

Odd Future, Das Racist, Pete Wentz & Matt & Kim attend the MTVu Woodie Awards bc they are lamestreamers

Posted: 17 Mar 2011 12:20 PM PDT

The MTVu Woodies happened last night, and this is probably the first time u have ever heard of them. Like all awards shows, they don't really mean anything, and just produce pictures + videos of ppl trying to look like they have 'made it.'

Here are some pictures of bands that are both 'trying to be alt/indie' by attending, but also trying to 'go mainstream' and get called up to the 'Big Leagues of MTV' so that they can sell records 2 Middle American +Altweens.

Donald Glover apparently hosted the show. He is a wannabe relevant rapper who is totally entry level because he just raps sillie lyrics over indie band samples. He is sorta like the prototypical entry-level NBC comedian who thinks he is more relevant + funnie + creative than he is when he is actually just on an overhyped NBC comedy that no1 watches except for losers who stream things on Hulu.

Speaking of alt indie negro rapp, here is the popular rap crew Odd Future. I guess MTV is trying to 'get in on the ground floor' like many indie tastemaking sources 2 say 'we created them' too by inviting them 2 this event.

Here is Das Racist wondering why they didn't get as much #swag buzz as Odd Future bc they are 'indie rappers' too. Must not be black enough.

Speaking of alt rappers from the 'Negro Leagues of Indie', here is Lil B.

Amber Rose dumped Kanye for some other 2nd tier buzz rapper.

Pete Wentz thinks he is helping his alt brand by attending the Woodies

The alt tween from the MTV show 'My Life as Liz' is still trying to escape from rural Texas suburbia sprawl and live a meaningful life as an alt tween celeb.

Apparently they hired alt Corey Feldman to DJ

Not sure why the Foo Fighters were there.

Sleigh Bells dressing like kewl high school tweens

Check out Kim from Matt & Kim finally 'learning her role' and trying to dress 'like a woman.'

Do u wish u went to this fake indie awards show?
Did ur fave buzzband 'win a Woodie'?
Is a Woodie the most prestigious indie honor in indie?
Are all of these bands just trying to go mnstrm on MTV?
Are these just overground buzzbands?

Jack White tries 2 go viral by playing a SXSW show via some trailer on the street

Posted: 17 Mar 2011 10:31 AM PDT


Jack White played some 'popup show' in the back of some trailer. This seems like something ppl would do in the 1950s, but not sure if it is really as innovative these days. I guess it is just supposed to 'generate blog buzz' or something, but I honestly thought Jack White had retired, but I guess he will probably never retire and become one of those old ass men who plays boring music and every1 still has to pretend it is good.

Anyways, he has some sort of gimmick 'popup shop' mobile record store. It is just some trailer, and he is driving around SXSW. I guess that's what u do at SXSW, try to create zany memes that get reblogged or something.

Here is some dumb video that tries 2 hype up his mobile record store.

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HEre is some video of him performing and every1 thinking that they were experiencing something meaningful.

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R u pissed that Jack White 'unretired'?
Does he represent everything that is 'right' with the music industry?
Is he an industry leader?
Is this an authentic way 2 promote urself or just a sillie blog gimmick?
Do u hope u run into a relevant buzz artist at SXSW who is driving a mobile marketing device around town?

Sleigh Bells tries to go mainstream by performing at some fake MTV indie awards

Posted: 17 Mar 2011 09:11 AM PDT

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Sleigh Bells played at some fake awards show called the "MTVu Woodie Awards." I think they sold a lot of albums, but performances at MTV won't really help u to win over Pitchforkian-wave critics who resent u for selling so many albums and licensing your songs to Samsung commercials. Anyways, they played some song called "Riot Rhythm" at the MTVu Woodie Awards. I think MTVu is MTV's attempt to have an indie channel, but basically all of the bands that go on there are only hoping to make it to MTV2, then make it to the MTV big leagues.

Did they 'crush it'?
Is this a 'bad career move' by Sleigh Bells?

Here is some funnie ass post posted by the MTV blog that writes like we are living in the 1990s or something.

If you've at all followed the career trajectory of noise-pop duo Sleigh Bells, you already know that a live performance by singer Alexis Krauss and guitarist Derek Miller can feel like a blow to the head in the most appealing way possible. And if you've heard any of Sleigh Bells' sweet-then-salty, loud-and-then-LOUDER songs on their first full-length album Treats, you know the tunes deserve -- make that DEMAND -- a performance of EPIC proportions. (We here at MTV found this out when we gave Sleigh Bells their very own Live In NYC show at Webster Hall.)

And that's precisely what they gave us at the 2011 mtvU Woodie Awards, a performance of epic proportions that only managed to get more epic. As if we weren't already scratching our heads over how just two people can make such a great big painfully pleasant noise, Sleigh Bells was joined on stage by the thunderous (and seriously sexy) sounds of Prairie View A&M's "Marching Storm," which launched their already out-of-this-world track "Riot Rhythm" into a whole new stratosphere of rock.

Here is 'Sexi Lexi Krauss' being all sexi, trying to make cool dads lust over her.

HEre they are walking the red carpet and the dude is like 'hey there's more 2 our buzzband than just Alexis Krauss.'

Is Sleigh Bells just an overground buzzband?
Will their strategic brand alliance with MTV help their career or hurt it in the long run?
Do their live performances 'crush it'?
Do u <3 Sexi Lexi Krauss?
Will she ever have as good of a voice as Vicki LeGrand?
Will she ever bleepbloopslutwave like Alice Glass?
Will she 'go solo' and release a Feisty piano album, or will she go solo and try to mimic the careers of Ke$ha and Vanessa Hudgens?

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Pitchfork launches Pitchfork 3D, pix of tons of alts in 3D glasses emerge

Posted: 17 Mar 2011 08:53 AM PDT

Photos by Erik Sanchez


Sometimes I wonder 'what is the future of the blogosphere?' Will ppl get bored reading boring blog posts with boring words, pictures, videos, and widgets? What can we do to make the 'live concert experience' completely obsolete and offer consumers a way to stay home and still feel like they are at a live concert, except without all of the hassles that come along with the live experience.

Pitchfork seems to be launching Pitchfork 3D at SXSW to 'take the mp3 blog experience 2 the next level.' I am not sure what all of these ppl are watching. Maybe they are watching a buzzband in 3D. Or just some video. I am not sure. The only buzzband I have seen in 3D is the Avatars, fronted by iconic indie songstress Sigourney Weaver.

Do u wish u were at SXSW to be the first person to experience tons of kewl tech startup launches and cobranded deals?
Will Pitchfork.3d 'save' the music blogosphere?
Will other blogs and websites have 2 go '3d'?
Will we be able to read Pitchfork without 3D glasses in 2k11.5?
R u exited about the 3D era of the blogosphere, or is it getting 'too corporate and mainstream'?
Do u think that the era of 3D TV/internet will 'pan out' or are there just too many annoying elements 2 make it a viable entertainment medium?
Was Avatar a 'big pile of blue poop'?

Some bro tweets abt his first 'first.' Has 'first' commenting on HIPSTER RUNOFF gone too far?

Posted: 16 Mar 2011 06:00 PM PDT


Look at me
I am a bro
who comments on the popular alt/lamestream blog HIPSTER RUNOFF
I saw that there were 0 comments on a post
and something inside of me took over
I rushed to comment
To be the first to see the post
To metaphorically plant the flag of my nation
on the moon that is this fresh HRO post

I obtained a first
I declared 'first'
My first 'first'
Boldly firsted where no Brononymous had firsted b4
and broadcasted it 2 my livestream

I am a FirstWave Bro
////////

One time when I was an entry-level blog, some1 said to me "You will have a real blog when ppl fight for firsties on every post."
Every time I see a new 'first', I know that my blog brand is strong.
If a blog post exists on a blog with 0 pageviews, is it even a blog?

Blog Theory.
///

Do yall <3 the 'first' commenters on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Have firstwavers 'ruined' the comments section of HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Are firstwaver 'entry level bro's or the purest HRO fans in the world?
Is a 'first' worth the most on HRO, Alt Report, or the Mainstreamer?
Have the comments on HRO 'gone down the shitter'?
Has the quality of writing on HRO 'declined' as have the commenters?
Are comments still an important, unique aspect of the blogosphere, or is it just where 'trolls and cowards lurk' to say mean things abt artists and relevant humans who are contributing something real 2 the world?
Has HIPSTER RUNOFF lost its readers from the 2k9 golden era of buzzbands?
Will u ever get a 'first' on a HIPSTER RUNOFF post?

Please use the comments section to communicate with the commenting community of HIPSTER RUNOFF.