Wednesday, February 2, 2011

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Cee Lo plays a concert for a sea of white ppl

Posted: 02 Feb 2011 05:12 PM PST

Photo via http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2011/02/cee-lo_played_s.html#


I remember when Cee-Lo's song "Fuck You" came out, every1 tried to get all excited about it, like the kind of vintage hype where people are like "Hells yea! This is what pop music is all about. They sure as hell don't make em like they used to!" However, the whole time, the song was basically just another generic lamestreamer anthem. Anyways, I just saw this funny picture of Cee-Lo performing at a Sundance Party. I guess only white people make movies and attend Sundance, or maybe the majority of Cee-Lo's audience is white ppl.

From what I hear, Sundance is basically just like 'tons of losers from LA who think they are in the_industry', except they are all wearing winter snow gear. Seems like they all took out their smart phones/cameras to make sure every1 knew they were 'chillin with @CeeLo.'

Is Cee-Lo relevant'?
Do yall h8 that one song of his "Forget You"?
Do u think any1 would ever date Cee-Lo or does he just buy a bunch of escorts 2 rub baby oil all ovr him?

I really don't even know if Cee-Lo is a human being. I really feel like he is some sort of 'goblin'/'troll' creature that was blessed with a cartoon voice. Really hope some1 does a DNA test on him so we can find out if he is a human being or just some amorphous gooey echo chamber.

Do black people like Cee-Lo, or is he just a white person artist?
Was Gnarls Barkley overrated?
Is Cee-Lo for lamestreamers?
Do u know if black ppl enjoy Cee-Lo or is he just one of those African American artists that is marketable 2 white ppl?
Does Cee-Lo 'have a good voice' or does he just sound like a cartoon / alien?

NSFW EXCLUSIVE: Best Coast and WAVVES naughty sex pic leaked

Posted: 02 Feb 2011 02:36 PM PST

Link: http://plixi.com/p/74315122

wavves best coast dating sex blow job pic
Best Coast and WAVVES are 'currently on tour together' because they are trying 2 cash in on 'being in an alt celebrity relationship. Even though no1 really listens 2 their music, they just tweet a lot of stuff about dank and they have become characters, but no1 even really believes they are in a relationship.

ANYWAYS, it seems like some how one of their naughty bedroom pix was [LEAKED]. Like most mainstream celebrities, it is clear that they only did this for publicity.

Fetishes spotted:

  • licking
  • cross dressing
  • alt happy trails
  • 'getting on ur knees'
  • blazed sex
  • peen in vagine

What fetishes do u see in this pic?
Does WAVVES 'look keut' in Bethany's crop top?

Have Best Coast and WAVVES 'gone too far' to try to get internet buzz?
Is a sex tape coming soon?
R u worried abt 'how dark' BestWAVVES will get when their 15 blog posts of alt buzz is over?
Did this picture 'turn u on' or 'make ur peen go limp'?

The White Stripes break up & only overgrounders care

Posted: 02 Feb 2011 11:08 AM PST

white stripes
I just read that the White Stripes broke up. I don't even really know what that means. I know Jack White has like 100 different bands, and it always seemed like Meg White was pretty worthless, playing really basic drum beats, so not really a big deal. They only really had 1 good song, but they were just a band that cool dads and overgrounders thought was 'really cool' or something.

I don't even think they had made music in like 10 years, so they probably just wanted to 'make a headline' about breaking up, then they will 'reunite' and make more blog headlines.

"The reason is not due to artistic differences or lack of wanting to continue, nor any health issues as both Meg and Jack are feeling fine and in good health. It is for a myriad of reasons, but mostly to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way."

I think Jack White and Meg White used to be in a relationship, so there was probably a lot of weird sexual tension. Like 'dark stuff' that people in serious relationships go thru. Maybe Meg was like "I really want to have a kid." And Jack was all like "NO" all the time because he wanted to be a famous musician, so even though they were successful musicians, there was a lot of resentment in their relationship.

I don't think any of that stuff actually happened, but it would probably be more interesting if they told a 'good story' like that. Ultimately, feel like no1 relevant cares abt the White Stripes. They probably should have done more to go 'more mainstream' and ride some Nickelback/Kings of Leon waves, but Jack White looks sorta like Eddie Scissorhands, so mainstreamers were probably kinda scared of him.

Just so yall know, the White Stripes belong 2 U!

"The White Stripes do not belong to Meg and Jack anymore. The White Stripes belong to you now and you can do with it whatever you want. The beauty of art and music is that it can last forever if people want it to. Thank you for sharing this experience. Your involvement will never be lost on any of us and we are truly grateful."

Are the White Stripes 'rock n roll legends' or just an overrated rock band?
Do u care that they broke up?
Was Meg White a 'worthless' drummer?
How many good songs did they have?
Are all of Jack White's bands about 95% unlistenable?
Are the White Stripes 'just another overground rock band'?
What are u gonna do with the White Stripes now that they belong 2 u.
Does n e 1 care that they are gone?
Will Meg White have to get a job at Subway?

Snowed-In in Suburbia: A Play by Carles

Posted: 02 Feb 2011 10:50 AM PST

I had just graduated from college 1.5 years ago, and I was still living with my parents in an irrelevant Midwestern area. It had been a really difficult time, getting in tons of arguments, living in relatively close quarters. But I was doing my best 2 get by... Doing my best to move the hell out of there, but still trying to stay connected to a local metropolitan hub that was 50 miles away from where I lived.

My name is Tom. This is my story. This is my story of the Blizzard of 2k11.

Mom: Son, you know there's a blizzard coming.
Tom: I don't really read the weather or local news, just blogs.
Mom: Come into the den, son. The local news is on.
Tom: The local news is a fucking joke meant 2 scare old ppl. I don't have time 4 that shit.
Mom: Please don't curse in my house. Maybe when you get a job, you can curse.
Tom: I told you. The recession has made it really difficult to get jobs in my industry.
Mom: I told ya you shouldn't have majored in graphic design. Your dad is a financial planner and he makes a good living.
Tom: Dad is the unhappiest person I've ever met in my life.

...scream from other room...

Dad: I'd be a lot happier if yous guys stopped nagging at eachother. I'm tryin' to watch the game!

Mom: Tom. You gotta keep it down. Tax season is killing your father!
Tom: Whatever.
Mom: Hush up. Watch the weather with me. It's about to start.
Local News Meteorologist on the TV: We are expecting this to be the blizzard of a lifetime. Please stay inside. Cover your pipes. Leave your faucets dripping. Bring your pets indoors. Get your fire wood ready.
Mom: See? I told u. Good thing I stocked up on tons of Wolf Brand Chili.

Tom: Well I was planning on going into the city to see a show. Do you mind if I borrow the car?
Mom: You're not taking the car out in this weather.
Tom: How else am I gonna get into the city? My favourite buzzband is playing.
Mom: You really shouldn't leave the house. I'm not just being your mother. This is gonna be huge.

...overheard from other room...
Dad: Who is taking the car out? No way any one takes the car out. Every one is staying indoors tonight!

Mom: Listen to your father.
Tom: I bought these tickets over 5 months ago. This buzzband doesn't come to our small Midwestern area that often, and I CANNOT miss this. I'm going to walk 2.5 miles to the train station and try to make it in. You can't stop me.
Mom: Don't go out or else we're not gonna let you live here. Our house. Our rules.
Tom: This is fucking bullshit. You don't understand. They were recently Best New Musicked on Pitchfork, and the next time they come thru town, there are gonna be soo many lamestreamers at the show. This is a huge deal.
Mom: I don't know what all of that means, but there is a BLIZZARD coming. You need to stay indoors. I may not be a meteorologist or a buzzbandologist or even 'Geologist' from that band you made me listen to in the car on the way to the grocery store. But please, as your mom, the person who loves you the most in the world.

I started my walk thru suburbia. The wind was blowing at what seemed like 100 miles per hour. The snow was falling. I couldn't see 2 feet in front of my face. It took me several hours to walk just 2.5 miles. Many people at the train station were coming home to suburbia from the city. But I was going into the city. The train conductor told me I was crazy to be leaving home in this weather, but I had caught the last train into town.

Conductor: Ur crazy.
Tom: Listen. I am on my way to see a really important band, and maybe in 5 years you'll understand why I had to do this. I care about the live scene. I'm not just one of those buzzband fans who stays at home on the internet and listens to MP3s. I care about the live scene. You don't understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. But trust me. This is hella important.
Conductor: You're something else, kid. You're something else. Have you heard the Decemberists? I just listened 2 them on NPR.

I arrived in the city. It was a 'ghost_town.' The city was shut down. Cars were getting stuck in the snow. Got to the venue. No one was there. There was a sign on the Venue that said 'Closed.' I checked the buzzband's twitter, and they were talking about how they were stuck in a van somewhere on some random Midwestern Highway.

I didn't know what to do.
I looked up at the white sky
and the song "White Sky" by Vampire Weekend came on my iPod

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I yelled at the sky
"WHY?"
"Why Me?"
"Why do the indie gods fucking h8 me?"
"I'm in it for the right reasons."
"I came all the way from Suburbia."
"I really care about this buzzband's career and I was gonna buy merch from them so the money went directly into their pockets."
"I live in suburbia. Tonight was supposed to be special."

It was at that moment
That I realized maybe life in suburbia wasn't that bad.
Maybe I had been chasing the wrong things all along
Maybe my parents truly cared about me
Maybe I should have listened
Maybe they were right
Maybe I valued buzzbands too much
Maybe I needed to go back to school and get a real degree
Maybe I should just start working at my dad's office
Maybe I should stop cursing at my mom
Maybe I should value the 'roof over my head' no matter what part of the city it is located in.

I heard a rumble
The sound of some sort of lawnmower engine or something.
A man pulled up next to me on a a snow mobile
He took off his mask

Dad: Hop on, son. Let's go home.

I got on the back of the snowmobile, and wrapped my arms around my dad, giving him a hug for the entire ride. I felt like a little boy again. For the first time, I finally realized that my dad loved me. It was time for me to grow up. I was going to turn my life around. Sure I could enjoy the occasional buzzband, but it was time for me to start being a productive 20something instead of a tragic one.

I got home. My mom had made some of her famous gingersnaps, and was just pouring me a cup of hot cocoa. She said, "Welcome home, son."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I should have listened. I'm sorry."

"You don't worry about that, son. Now let's get you out of those clothes."

"Mom... Dad... I love you guys."

...overheard from other room....

Dad: Can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to watch Fallon. The musical guest is about to come on.

****#Good2BeHome*****

R u safe?
Were u hit by a blizzard/snow storm?
Do u care abt ppl in the Midwest?
Does God h8 the Midwest because they are all lamestreamers and deserve to be miserable?
Do you feel trapped in suburbia [due 2 'the elements]?
Does weather make u believe in God/a 'higher power'?
Did you go out to see a buzzband in this weather?
Were u trapped in the snow in suburbia?
Have u ever been trapped in a natural disaster with ur nuclear family?
Is Home where the heart is?

Plz share ur stories abt the Blizzard, and let us know that ur okay.

Slutwave indie songstress Zooey Deschanel tries 2 be alt by wearing earmuffs

Posted: 02 Feb 2011 09:07 AM PST

zooey deschanel earmuffs fashion vintage sundance
Zooey Deschanel was recently at Sundance. I am not sure if she has a film, or if she was playing music in her live band "The Shims." Anyways, Benjamin Gibbard was nowhere 2 be found and she was spotted canoodling with another woman.

ZooeyBB is usually considered an 'indie fashion icon', so I wouldn't be surprised if she turned earmuffs in2 a relevant alt trend 4 the winter 4 lamestreamers & mainstreamers + girls who shop on Etsy or something. Not sure who the broad next to her making a myspace face is. Maybe Chelsea Handler or something.

Sorry if this post is boring. Sometimes u just gotta post some Zooey Deschanel coverage bc she is 'so controversial.' Some ppl think she is a multi-talented artist, while other ppl say that she is 'what is wrong with the indie scene.'

Is Zooey Deschanel a 'pure artist'?
Is she 'authentic'?
Do u think she looks sexie in her earmuffs?
Do u wish she would 'show off more skin' and maybe 'get some implants' [via going mainstream]?
Will Zooey Deschanel ever win an Academy Award/Grammy, or is she just a B-list/C-list celeb?

Microsoft rips off the Arcade Fire's "Wake Up" in some commercial

Posted: 02 Feb 2011 07:35 AM PST

Link: http://stereogum.com/629931/microsoft-blatantly-rips-off-arcade-fire/franchises/commercial-appeal
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I was watching the television, and I saw this commercial, and I couldn't help but think... "This kinda sounds like a popular indie song... I can't quite put my finger on which 1... hmmm.... let me think... hmmm... shit what is this song. It sounds soooo effing familiar. Who is itttt. Ughhh this is driving me crazy? Shit! Who the eff is this...Sounds so familiar, right? God. Still trying to figure this out.... Hmm..." Anyways, a few days later after I DVRed and studied the commercial for a long time, I finally realized, "Eureka! I've found it. They ripped off Regine and the Arcade Fire's hit song "Wake Up"."

Do u think it sounds like the Arcade Fire?
Do u think Win Butler 'threw his guitar' thru the TV when he heard this and thought of all of the money he was losing. You know he has to be pissed that they gave so much money 2 Haiti just because his wife is from there.

I wonder if Win Butler woulda given them the song, since the Arcade Fire 'only cares abt money.' It seems like u could say that they basically wrote "Wake Up" just 2 make tons of money.

Do u use Bing/MSN?
What have you googled with Bing?
Regine Chassagne Arcade Fire Nude
Does Bing 'rip off' google search results?
Should Regine still 'go solo' [via Stevie Nicks]?
Can Regine release a solo album in 2k11?
Is "Wake Up" officially one of the honkiest songs ever written?
Does this 'cheapo' version of Wake Up sound bttr than the original?
What is Win "the" Butt_ler like behind closed doors?