Tuesday, November 23, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Did yall watch the American Music Awards? [via no1 gives a shit]

Posted: 23 Nov 2010 02:51 PM PST


I'm not sure what the American Music Awards is, who cares abt it, who watches it, who 'actually wants 2 win 1' and who thinks that 'winning' an AMA 'means something.' I feel like maybe MTV Awards shows are probably more relevant than 'real awards shows' because they accept the model/gimmick that they are just trying to create fake events that generate long lasting memes, but these awards shows still have to pretend that they 'mean something.'

Not sure if the old ppl pictured above are 'in charge of it' or if they are just lost parents looking for a neighboring convention center room.

Seems like the only notable meme was this 'tween oreo' picture of Jayden Smith, Justin Bieber, and Willow Smith.

Will Willow Smith be able to keep her meme going/does her song 'resonate with tweens' or does she need to ride Miley-ass slutwaves?

Feel like these days u can turn any random ass tween into a 'tween sensation.' This is Julio, a 3rd grader discovered on youtube who now has a record contract + Disney show.

'I hate my abusive stage dad.' - Julio

Probably wasn't a 'real event' if K3$ha wore a torn ass garbage bag

Keut eyebrows. Ur a fashion icon who will be remembered 4evr

Not sure if Katy Perry actually went or just sent a 'wax statue' of herself

At least she sported some camel toe 4 a meme

Taylor Swift is sort of morphing into a slutwaver in the same way that porn stars like Sasha Grey and Faye Valentine 'got hot' because they didn't have cartoon-titties but just were 'super nasty' and 'loved fucking'

Best New Bangs Award

Who invited Mandy Moore? Has she done anything relevant since "A Walk 2 Remember" / "Candy.mp3"?

'Breathe in, breathe out.' -Gavin Rossdale from the buzzband BUSH

Wonder if Gwen Stefani regrets marrying him since he was potentially 'only hot' in the 90s.

"Who the eff is Rob Thomas?" -Gavin Rossdale collabing with Santana to 'crush it' during a cover of "Smooth"

My free spirited 4th grade Spanish teacher showed up.

Apparently the Backstreet Boys and the New Kids on the Block 'merged' and they are going to start touring together even though they are all fat, old, gross, and can't sing as well.

I wonder how these bros are able to handle 'not being famous' any more. I imagine them ordering a sandwich at Subway and waiting anxiously for the sandwich artist 2 recognize them.

Here is some really embarrassing video of their live performance.
Kinda funnie 2 see people trying to get back into these brands.

Wonder if all of the non-Timberlake members of NSYNC wish JT's career was 'tanking' so that they could 'reunite'

No idea who this dude is, but looks like the guy who made my fries at Jack N the Box last nite.

No idea who this guy is, but looks like the guy I had to 'argue with' when they effed up my order at Jack N the Box last nite.

Worried that Xtina Aguliarea has been vibing at Jack N the Box a lil bit too much [via 2 for 99 cents tacos]

SEE MORE SHITTY AMA CELEBS THINKING THEY ARE FAMOUS/RELEVANT/ETERNAL -->>>>

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Toro Y Moi announces new album 2 try to get the first 10.0 in 2k11

Posted: 23 Nov 2010 12:00 PM PST

Link: http://www.gorillavsbear.net/2010/11/23/cover-art-toro-y-moi-underneath-the-pine/
Link: http://pitchfork.com/news/40774-toro-y-moi-announces-sophomore-album/


Toro Y Moi is a 2k9/2k10 chillwave/post-chillwave/fuzzybuzzy buzzband artist that released the hit album "Causers of This" in 2k10. It seems like he was able to create a new album within abt 1 year, which is 'amazing' because most artists 'take a year off' in between albums, and just do the thing where they tour 4evr and evr and ppl get tired of hearing their same boring songs from 2 years ago.

Anyways, the new name of the album is "Underneath the Pine." I have heard rumors that this album is not 'chillwave' and is instead some sort of disco / funk album. Wonder if it will represent a healthy evolution, and make fans happy. Wonder if it is going 2 sound like Totally_Chaz's other soundproject Les Sins [link].

Does the album cover look like some1 'chomping on pussie'?
Is that some sort of 'grapefruit' / 'passion fruit'?
R u excited 4 the new Toro Y Moi album?
Is it going to 'crush' Causers of This?
R u impressed by the rate at which Chazbro can 'generate new mp3s'?
Should all modern indie artists be required to release at least 1 album/EP per year?

Here are the names of the songs on the album:

01 Intro/Chi Chi
02 New Beat
03 Go With You
04 Divina
05 Before I'm Done
06 Got Blinded
07 How I Know
08 Light Black
09 Still Sound
10 Good Hold
11 Elise

I think I am looking forward to the song "Chi Chi" because I think it is probably abt breasts/"chee chee's."

Do u think Toro Y Moi is the early frontrunner for 2k11 album of the year?
R u 'dying' to hear a new Torbro Y Broi mp3 asap?
Should he have released a 'teaser mp3 single' with the album announcement, or does it make sense for artists to incrementally release memes to the bloggiasphere?
Will Toro Y Moi get a 10.0 from Pitchfork?
Is 2k11 going to be 'fucking stacked'?
R u happy/sad that chillwave is dying?
Do u think that all of the former chillwavers will have to answer a bunch of questions like "so is ur music still chillwave, yall?!? What's it like 2 evolve???"
Will Toro Y Moi 'beat' Neon Indian and Washed Out after "Underneath the Pine"?

Pitchfork pans Jay-Z with a 7.5 to counterbalance the Kanye West perfect score

Posted: 23 Nov 2010 10:32 AM PST

Link: http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/14892-the-hits-collection-vol-one/


Pitchfork is a popular indie reviews site that gave Kanye West a 'perfect 10.0' on his latest album. Many white indie altbro fans have been left naked and confused abt 'what kind of music they are supposed to like' because they are used to listening to music by white people. Now that Pitchfork is all like "Kanye is the greatest buzzband of all time", every1 is all like "huh? why? rap? hiphop? autotune? Conway West?"

It seems like Pitchfork 'threw a curveball' to counterbalance the Kanye 10.0 by giving Jay-Z's greatest hits a 7.5. Not sure what they are trying to do. I have always heard that Jay-Z is the greatest rapper of all time, but now that Kanye got a 10.0, they are probably like "alright, we gotta really figure out what we are doing with our long term editorial brand, so let's shaft Jay-Z."

Serious Jay-Z fans: Disperse. Nothing to see here. This collection, the first proper North American best-of in Jay-Z's career, is what it says it is: a compendium of his most successful songs.

It was apparently a greatest hits album, so theoretically that deserves a 9.0+ because it is 'no bullshit' and 'just the good shit' but I guess Pitchfork is 'turning' on Jay-Z.

I don't even know anything about Jay-Z except I think I remember he sang the songs "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT" and that one "WHATS MY NAME?" That's chill though. "Can I get a whut whut?"-Kanye West after getting a 10.0

Just rlly confused.
Feels like all these rappers are becoming the new 'indie celebrities.'
Not sure who I am supposed to like any more.
Not sure which bands to build my personal brand around.
Not sure if white indie buzzbands are 'exciting' or 'relevant' any more because there is no way in hell they will get a 10.0.

Do u think the Kanye score was 'indie affirmative action'?
Does this mean Pitchfork thinks that Kanye West is the best rapper evr?
Who is the greatest rapper of all time?
Do u think Pitchfork has 'an agenda'?
Can Jay-Z write another great album, or will he have to get Kanye West to produce the whole thing?
Are Jay-Z and Radiohead the only living artists capable of getting a 10.0?
R u lost/confused/scared/alone?
Have u lost the ability 2 tell the difference between 'what is relevant' and what is 'poop' any more?
Do u believe that Pitchfork is 'for African American readers' now? [link]

Sufjan Stevens makes a music video that rips off the AnCo aesthetic

Posted: 23 Nov 2010 06:55 AM PST

Here is some video for a mediocre Sufjan Stevens song called "Too Much." Kinda sad that this is his 'single' when he wrote great hits like "Chicago", "The Theme Song from Lil Miss Sunshine", and "Driving with my Dysfunctional family in a cramped lil van."

Anyways, nothing much going on here. Just some zany video that Sufjan made. Feel like it is ripping off a lot of Animal Collective vibes. Like maybe this is the video that AnCo should make instead of doing all of that weird LSD shit. I guess there are some keut alt broads in this, but overall, it is still the annoying "I'm finding myself" Sufjan vibe where he dances around in flamboyant clothes and tries to look like a sex icon.

I don't know. Really bored with Sufjan, especially now that Kanye got a 10.0. It's just like 'why am I even blggng abt this when he's never gonna get a 10.0.' Just feeling like a lot of 'indie' is really forgettable now. Wonder what's next.

Is this video 'hella boring'?
Is Sufjan in 'creative purgatory'?
Is this Sufjan Stevens' last album meme?
Do u feel all sad after the_10.0, like no album/meme can be as meaningful as the 10?

NSFW: Alice Glass lifts up skirt and shows off her panties

Posted: 22 Nov 2010 07:11 PM PST


In what seems to be some sort of 'reply' to Pitchfork giving Kanye West a 10.0, Alice Glass has done some sort of 'show', and decided to 'show off her panties' on stage. Not sure if she just got done crowd surfing, or if she is just being an exhibitionist. Kinda think she is sexie, but I wish I could see her perfect, firm lil a$$.

Have no idea when this picture was taken/if it is recent, but u know the old saying "Any time some1 sends u a pic of Alice Glass crowdsurfing/looking sexie/showing off any of her body', u have to blog it."

Do u think Alice looks good?
Has she been going 2 the gym/doing 'squats'?
Do u think Alice has the best ass in indie rock?
Will Alice Glass's ass get them a 10.0 on their next album?
Is Alice Glass using 'sex appeal' 2 make sure Robert Smith doesn't take her place in Crystal Castles?
R u creeped out by the bro with the camera trying to take a picture of her 'female taint'/'cooch'?

What type of undies do u think she is wearing?
a) Hanes hipsters
b) thong ta tong tong tongies
c) granny panties
d) Am Appie panties
e) boxers shorts
f) boxer briefs
g) Looney Tunes Boxers
h) adult diapers
i) g-string
j) g-strang
k) g-thong
l) gWave
m) ggaze
o) cute lil panties/short shorts that say something 'sexie' across ur butt
p) 'boys shorts'
q) compression socks
r) Choose ur own response

Does alice glass have the perf alt ass? [link]