Wednesday, October 27, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Unruly Teens are starting to die/overdose from drinking Four Loko

Posted: 27 Oct 2010 01:04 PM PDT

Link: http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/25/washington.students.overdose/index.html

Have yall heard of the popular beverage / soda / adult beverage called Four Loko? Apparently it is like 'the new Sparks' and kids across the USA are digging it because it gets you super effed up fast, and it is 'loaded with caffeine', so u get mad energy, and mad effed up in one gulp. It is sorta like the same concept as the peanut butter jar with jelly mixed in. U just get to ride a dualcore wave without over-exerting urself. Really helps out ppl in today's fast paced world.

Just watched this CNN puff piece on Four Loko. It seems like they are trying to make it seem like a 'national epidemic.'

Apparently some bros 'blacked out hard' at some University of Lamestreamers. Do u think they were 'weak' cuz they couldn't handle Four Loko?

Nine Central Washington University students hospitalized this month after an off-campus party were sickened by "Four Loko," a caffeinated malt liquor also known as "blackout in a can," according to a police investigation.
Investigators concluded that none of the students were drugged or given alcohol without their knowledge and no sexual assaults occurred, according to a school statement.
The findings convinced university President James Gaudino to ban "alcohol energy drinks" from his campus.

Then they brought in some expert lady to talk about whether or not Four Loko is dangerous. She seems to have created this 'sweet ass infographic' that conveys tons of information . The visual representation rlly helps me understand why Four Loko is dangerous.

Is Four Loko 'dangerous'? Can u die from drinking Four Loko? Should I make a documentary abt only drinking Four Loko for one month of my life to demonstrate that it is dangerous/not good 4 u?

The drinks are "a binge-drinkers dream because the caffeine and other stimulants allow a drinker to ingest larger volumes of alcohol without passing out," the chairman of the school's physical education department said.

Once the blood alcohol level reaches a certain level, you can drop like a box of rocks.

"Being able to feel the effects of tiredness, loss of coordination and even passing out or vomiting are the body's defenses against consuming doses of alcohol that will kill you," professor Ken Briggs said.

They got an 'official statement' from the company that makes Four Loko. It seems like they are just like 'we just want ppl to be able to get jacked up and party' and 'we can't control whatever the eff they do.'

Feel like I side with them. College Students' parents should be held accountable for their actions, not the liquor company.

Should u just do tons of blow and drink rubbing alcohol instead of doing Four Loko?
Do these news reporters seem like 'conservative squares'?
Should I just vlog about chugging Four Loko?

Is Four Loko for tweens and minorities?

Is Four Loko a national 'local news'-esque epidemic that is invading middle American townships?

Have u had Four Loko?
What does it taste like?
What do u feel like?
Do u miss SPARKS?
Do u drink redbull + vodka?
Is my heart going to explode soon?
Is it the liquor company's responsibility to make sure ppl don't die/drink and drive/overdose when they consumer?

Are u on #TeamLoko or #TeamLocalNewsPuffPiece?
What does it feel like to 'get drunk' but 'be jacked'?
Should I make my own buzzworthy energy drink / alcoholic energy drink?

The girl from Salem wears a sexie football jersey

Posted: 27 Oct 2010 10:31 AM PDT

Just watched this shaky footage of Salem 'killing it' live. There are apparently multiple singers in Salem. Sometimes Jack bro will rap all crunk, and other times this qt broad will sing. Apparently her name is Heather Marlatt. Sorta vibing out to her, think she is rlly keut. Like the next female indie sex icon.

Can yall tell if the band is terrible, or is this just terrible video footage?
Do u <3 or h8 Salem?
Do u think the 'rape gaze' genre/coverage has 'gone too far'?

Anyways, Just wanna focus on my girl Heather. Seems like she is vibing out in a big baggy football jersey

I did some internet research, and found out that it is a Wisconsin Badgers College Football Jersey.

Do u think football jerseys are going to become the next alt female trend?
Do u ever wear ironic / vintage sports jerseys?
Are 'ironic basketball jerseys' no longer a relevant alt trend? [link]

Here is another performance of them getting all rape gazey [via post-shoegaze].

R u vibing, or do u h888 salem?

Is Salem the worst buzzband in the world?
Is Salem the best buzzband in the world?
Should I feel 'entry level' if I am not 'dark' enough to 'get' Salem?
Is Salem the 'must purchase in advance' ticket for the next season of concerts?
Is Heather gonna replace Alice Glass?
Should she get crazier on stage to 'build up' her persona?

Should she braid her hair?
Do u <3 Heather?
Is she the next indie 'it girl'?
Is she gonna replace Alice Glass now that Bobbie Smith replaced Alice in Chrystal Castles?

Some article abt a church in Brooklyn that 'welcomes effing hipsters'

Posted: 27 Oct 2010 08:39 AM PDT

Link: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/holy_hipsters_flock_to_church


I sorta want to re-brand myself as a freelance journalist who goes from paper to magazine to zine to local reader, and just writes trend pieces about hipsters. I will locate a community with tons of young ppl who are kinda 'hipster', and try to find a place that they are 'infesting.' It will be an opportunity to educate old people about 'hipsters' and maybe get some young ppl ironic traffic/mad hits.

Anyways, just read an article about HIPSTERS in WILLIAMSBURG BROOKLYN who started GOING TO CHURCH.

Here is the intro that manages to use the buzzwords 'irony', 'tattoos', and 'skinny jeans':

On Sunday evenings, a Hispanic Lutheran church on the gritty south side of Williamsburg transforms into a hipster religious revival with plenty of fashion but no irony.
Worshippers with full-sleeve tattoos, skinny jeans, stocking caps and square glasses pack the pews of Resurrection Presbyterian Church on South Fifth Street.

Sounds so hipster, yall.
Rlly a bzzwrthy trend piece. Young Ppl vibing out at a cultural location/meeting place.

Do any weird ppl go there? Like ppl who don't look like mainstreamers in church?

"The fellowship with everyone here is amazing," said Shaun Lee, 30, a skinny, scruffy East Village bartender who sports a skullcap and cargo jacket to service.

Can 'effing hipsters' be Christian? Do yall know if relevant/buzzworthy humans are Christians? Would I feel comfortable there?

The aisles are full of artists, actors, fashion stylists and musicians.
Even the pastor, the Rev. Vito Aiuto -- trained at the Princeton Seminary -- is in a band, and has recorded music with indie hero Sufjan Stevens, an occasional congregant.

Oh damn. U know Sufjan? Might vibe out at that church if the pastor gives a sermon abt why his new album is 'effing terrible.' Sorta want a pastor who talks to G-d abt buzzbands, and can relay to me what Godbro thinks is relevant.

Live jazz accompanies the collection, and church suppers include plenty of red wine, but the holy hipsters are serious about Christ. During services, parishioners raise their arms in prayer and confess that God saved them from "the power of the devil."

Feeling the power of the devil
inside of me
Need 2 cleanse myself
of 'hipster sins'
PBR
fixed gear bicycles
relevant buzzbands that use curse words
relevant buzzbands that have 'gothic' prnl brands
casual sex on the reg
dank on the reg
cocaine blow on the reg

Do yall believe in hipster christianity?
Can alts believe in God?
Is God real?
Is God 'alt' or the ultimate mainstreamer?
Or is he a chill mainstreamer, but has too many lamestreamer friends?

PREVIOUSLY

Jesus 'dressed as an effing hipster' is on the cover of a Christian magazine

Some altbro makes unofficial ANCO shoes by doodling on loafers

Posted: 27 Oct 2010 07:58 AM PDT

Link: http://guicemann.com/post/1404845202/animal-collective-shoes-10-26-10


Just saw some altbro who made some Animal Collective shoes. Not sure what his vibe his/what he is trying to accomplish. Maybe he wants to connect with the band and see if they will sell his shoe as an official piece of merch. Maybe he is 'just another altbro' who 'loves AnCo' and just wants to 'get blog coverage' for doing something that relates 2 Animal Collective.

Really worried that the #AnCo meme has run out of steam. Really need a new album cycle out of them or something. Maybe they should start a new band or collab with another famous indie celeb.

Here is some video of the bro painting, listening to the Strokes. Not sure what the eff he is even talking about.

I wonder who these 2 bros are. I guess 'Deakin' and 'Geologist.' Look like dudes who work at a gas station or something.

Anyways, do u think his doodles are 'legit' or bullshit?
Are these better than the 'real AnCo shoes'?
Do u think this bro goes to a relevant art/design school?
Do u think he 'gets' Animal Collective more than u?
Does he seem like a chill bro, or the 3rd generation of Animal Collective fans who 'ruined them'?

WES ANDERSON CHARACTER COSTUMES: THE DEAD END OF HALLOWEEN CIVILIZATION

Posted: 26 Oct 2010 07:13 PM PDT

Photos by Tenenbaumfail


Maybe it's time
to retire the Wes Anderson film character costumes
It's ovr.
When was the last time Wes Anderson made a movie that resonated with modern society?
Maybe we have evolved beyond the indie era
and u r compromising ur authentic personal brand
by dressing like a Tenenbaum
a Max Fisher
A #TeamZissou
A Darjeeleng

Don't care if u had to go 2 a couples costume partie

It's time 2 retire
the Wes Anderson film-based costumes
It's time to get serious abt life
stop pretending u r in an indie movie

Ur life is for real
ur never going to be a character in a film
Stop living in an effing dream world
ur never going 2 slit ur wrists [via suicide]

Ur a mexi
Ur not even white
Jesus Christ
Cmon bro

We get it
ur alt
and u watch indie films
but just that vibe really doesn't resonate ne more

Also, ur AZN

Ur not the white/Jewish Max Fisher
Ur not in HS
Ur not a tragic overachiever
ur an underachiever
Forgettable, lazy, mediocre
Ur not interested in anything
and ur not interesting

Ur not as pretty as Gwyneth Paltrow
or else u would be married to the coldplay bro
I don't think u r a talented, yet cunty woman
ur just an effing hollow broad with no feelings

But I do endorse the concept of the female costume that is
[ANYTHING] + [SLUTTY] + [TITTIES HANGING OUT] = great costume

R u addicted 2 drugs?
Do u want to be part of a brilliant family?
Escape from ur middle class past
ascend into 'tragic greatness'?

Did any1 even like the Darjy Limited
or was every1 'over it'

Not sure why any1 would want to go to India
Seems like there's a lot of ppl there
when there are so many ppl
it is hard 2 be an individual

Sorta just wish I had an azn sidekick
to integrate into my costume :-(

Would rather be Chill Murray [link]
than a second rate Bill Murray character

Never forget the time I saw 'Life Aquatic' in theatres
and was 'pissed' that it wasn't Rushmore/Tenenbaums set underwater

Kinda wish u'd just chop off ur finger
so u could feel 'real pain'
Instead of ur 'seasonal depression'
or whatever u r medicated 4

yall seem like real bros

Feel like u might as well 'vote 4 pedro'
instead of being a Tananbaum

So many Tenenbaums
So many Lamestreamers

Miss u myspace era

Really feel like when it's all said and done
and the world ends
we will be able 2 say
that Napoleon Dynamite had a bigger cultural impact than the combined effect of Wes Anderson films

I guess maybe we're all just lamestreamers
deep inside
and we're trying to brand ourselves
to be authentic

Maybe Wes Anderson relied 2 much on 'characters'
and gimmicky sets + costumes
and the human fabric of his films
have withered away

It's time
It's been time
I'm sorrie
Good bye Richie
Margot
Ari
Uzbro
Royal
Danny 'I'm too old 4 this shit' Glover
Jase Schwartz
Owen Wils
Luke Wils
Pagoda
Bill Murray
Adrien Broski
Wes Bronderson

I'm sorrie
dead end of halloween costumlization

Is the Wes Anderson film costume gimmick evr going 2 die?
Will people still dress like Wes Anderson characters in 2k10?
Are Wes Anderson films transcendent of time?
Were Wes Anderson films ever meaningful, or did u 'always see thru them'?
R u an entry-level or a lamestreamer?
Is there a 'huge backlash' against the meaningful indie film boom of the 2k0s?

Gnite bros
See yall in the suburbs
growing old
and handing out tricks and treats 2 spoiled kids

Fly Mordecai...

Fly....

This is ALTERNATIVE HALLOWEEN WEEK on HIPSTER RUNOFF

DAY 1