Thursday, October 14, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

My buzzband wanted 2 go viral so we blocked traffic on a busy freeway.

Posted: 14 Oct 2010 03:18 PM PDT


It's so difficult to be a band these days. Close to impossible to get a decent amount of buzz from an authentic tribe of followers on the internet. U have to something special 2 get some1's attention on the internet, fighting against so many other memes that exist.

There's more 2 being in a band than just writing songs, recording MP3s, building myspace layouts, and guilting your immediate network of friends into coming to ur crappy shows. U have be be a master online strategist who knows how to generate content that truly 'gets ppl tlkng.' Gets ppl tweeting. Gets ppl buzzing. Gets ppl excited abt ur brand.

My buzzband and I decided 2 'take matters into our own hands', and do something that would get the attention of not only 'in-real-life' consumers, but also generate bloggable content that would force people on the internet to listen 2 our band. We decided to block a busy expressway in our local city during rush hour traffic. We knew there was a high chance of us getting arrested, but we didn't care because we were probably never going to get real jobs anyways.

This was our moment. Our time to shine. We weren't just playing for the cars in the front row of our traffic jam. We were playing for all of the ppl who were gonna watch this shit on youtube, and share it with their friends. They would see how chill we were, how 'effing sick' our music was, and what we were all about. We would be on every television channel and blog, and soon we would get a 'sweet ass record contract.' Maybe we would even make some money on iTunes sales 2 mainstreamers.

Here's what we look up close up. We're the Imperial Stars. Do we seem chill? Do yall wanna listen 2 our mp3s? If we 'guestlist' u, can u come backstage and give us Beejes?

Just trying 2 get home 2 suburbia
But there was a buzzband blocking my way
so trapped in my life
so trapped in my car
so trapped on society's roads (physically + metaphorically)
now trapped listening to this crappy buzzband :-(

This is 'brilliant marketing' because we are also releasing a track called "Traffic Jam." Here is the official music video. U can see we're sorta like 3 Oh! 3 meets Linkin Park, except way more bad ass and u can't even really describe us.

We truly embody the spirit of rock n roll.

Unfortunately, the plan didn't really work. We were arrested and our converted ice cream truck was impounded. We only got about 5 minutes of footage, and it was kinda crappy. We really shoulda hired a production team, and thought more about 'sound' issues. Maybe we invested too much in our 'official video' and we shoulda spent more on the 'guerilla' product. Worried we can't try again or else we will see 1-5 years of jail time. Guess we missed our 1 shot, our 1 opportunity to truly create a 'viral meme.'

Feeling sad. Keep refreshing youtube to check our view count, expecting to see it in the millions. Still in the low thousands. Feeling like a failure. Like now we are 'effed' every time we get a background check and we didn't even go viral. Honestly feel like committing internet suicide.

At least we got some sweet 'chopper' footage via the local news station's 'eye in the sky' helicopter.

Feeling alive.
Knowing that 'at least we tried'
Some bands never get blggd abt
But I proved today that I will do anything it takes to get 'mad coverage'
Maybe we'll get a few more fans, maybe we won't
But we were able 2 prove that we care abt our music reaching new fans
We didn't just make an anonymous myspace and upload a lofi mp3
We brought the music 2 the ppl.

Are these bros hella unchill?
Does their buzzband suck, so it doesn't matter how viral they go bc no1 is going 2 listen 2 them?
Were u in traffic when they started playing and did it make u late 4 dinner/soccer practice/a real buzzband's show?
Which buzzband do u wish played in traffic?
Do u hope these bros were put in jail 4evr?
Is this a huge safety hazard, and should the judge 'come down on them' hard 2 set an example, letting buzzbands know that it isn't chill 2 put other ppl's lives' in danger just because u want 2 go viral?
Are bands required 2 become 'master internet marketing strategists' in the modern world?

Geologist designs shoe 4 adults 'due 2 popular demand'

Posted: 14 Oct 2010 12:36 PM PDT

Link: http://www.keepcompany.com/detail.aspx?id=155


Animal Collective is doing some gimmick where they are releasing products 2 capitalize on their brand, but instead of just making mad bank for themselves, they are giving money 2 charity. Kinda chill, I guess, but think they deserve to pocket the $$$$ because bands don't make money when ppl steal their leaks. Kinda pissed that they didn't just release all of these shoes at once so I have to re-post some lame blog abt each of the g-damn shoes. Probs getting users 'hella pissed' about all of these shoe memes.

Recently, Geologist designed some shoe 4 kids [link], and every1 in the blogosphere was pissed because they wear adult sizes 6-14. It would have been impossible 2 fit in baby shoes, so tons of people were considering buying them and using them as necklaces, bottle openers and miscellaneous accessories.

The adult's version added to the lineup due to popular demand! Geologist's grey canvas body with custom printed shark pattern accent, illustrated by Abby Portner. Hidden elastic allows for slip-on ease. Vulcanized sole. All profits from this shoe will be donated to the Socorro Island Conservation Fund. Advanced sales come with a bonus cassette featuring previously unreleased music.

R u 'relieved' that Geo shoes are coming out in ur size?
Were u gonna create a baby just 2 buy them some Geo shoes?

R u going to buy the adult version of this shoe?
Are yall on #TeamGeo, or is Avey the alpha dog of Animal Collective?
Will Panda Bear release hella chill shoes?
Is this progressive band merch that rlly makes u identify with the brand?
Should AnCo have just signed a huge merch deal with Urban Outfitters/Nike/Anthropologie/Babies R Us and put their name on every type of product possible to make mad buzz bucks?
Should Geo work on a solo project instead of releasing tons of shoes?

Keut Alt Girl makes High School Project abt HIPSTER RUNOFF

Posted: 14 Oct 2010 11:28 AM PDT

Link: http://theconcertwhore.com/post/1308987207/my-school-project

Sometimes it is difficult 2 remember why ur a blog. Memes just keep getting tossed in ur face that ur supposed to sort thru 2 tell ppl what is relevant. Brononymous bros on the internet just try 2 'bring u down' and say u r 'irrelevant.' Buzzbands come, buzzbands go. Ppl turn on u all the time, throwing u 'under the bus' and 'shitting in ur face.' Sometimes u just want to 'hang it up' and exist as a regular human in society instead of as a blog with so much on the line every day. Kinda a hard existence, yall.

But now I just watched this totes keut alt who made her high school 'Music Class' project about the relevant blog HIPSTER RUNOFF. Feeling inspired. Feeling like there is a reason 4 me 2 blog.

////ALIVE AGAIN////

Do yall think her posterboard is keut? Should she have used Powerpoint/Keynote or is the posterboard vibe 'mad authentic'?

Did her poster board 'crush it' and/or 'kill it'?

It seems like her project was to create a theoretical/conceptual music festival with the buzzbands of her choice. Should we go see Alice Glass on the PBR Stage?

Do alternative cats say 'dank' instead of meowing? IS the [via] stage ur fave stage at HROfest?

Have yall ever chilled in Helvetica Park in 'the heart of Brooklyn'?

Does this AZN look as unchill as the original unchill azn bro?

Feeling alive again. Feeling like Carles was right--
There will be buzzbands.
There will be buzz.
There will be blog.
There will be alt memes.
There will be 8.4s.
There will be dank.
There will be tweets.
There will be alt.

Even though she's a little bit entry lev, she gave me hope. Hope that there is a reason 4 me to be a blog.
A reason to 'keep going.'

Is this girl going to be the next relevant HRO 'it girl'?

Is HRO still relevant?
Is this girl totes keut?
Do u <3 her?
Who else should Carles book for the HRO Music Fest?
What other corporate sponsors should sponsor a 'stage'?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF making a difference any more?
Is HRO 'past its prime'?
Do u wish u had a Blog BFF when u were in HS?
Do u wish u went to an ALT high school that asked u 2 do alternative creative projects?

Avril Lavigne poses topless, tries 2 ride slutwave

Posted: 14 Oct 2010 09:38 AM PDT


Avril Lavigne is a popular indie songstress who had a few songs about 'being alt', 'being a girl', 'liking sk8r bois', and figuring out why things had 2 get so complicated back in the early 2k0s. Unfortunately, she sorta 'faded' out of relevancy because no1 could really tell if she was 'trying to be an alt indie star', 'trying to be a mainstream songstress', or if she was just trying to ride the slutwave.

It seems like her plan is to put all of her eggs in the slutwave basket, just trying to be 'Lady Gaga' or something. Maybe she will buy some 'huge knockers' and imitate Katy Perry. Sorta excited abt Avril becomign a slutwaver, but srsly need her to get some new body parts that will make men 'hornie.' Feel like u can find girls who look like Avril at ur local high school.

Do u think she looks hella sexie topless / nude?

Does n e 1 know what Maxim Magazine is? Are they some sort of 'soft core porn bro magazine'?

Is Avril Lavigne's tattoo that just says FUCK totally alt? Do u think her parents are proud of her for getting a tattoo that makes her a raw individual?

Will Avril Lavigne be able 2 'ride the slutwaves'?

is Avril Lavigne totesally alt/indie?
Is it still authentic to 'pose topless' in magazines, or is that a personal branding strategy from the 1990s?
Should she just launch her own pornography vidcamming website?
Is Avril Lavigne a failed Gwen Stefani / Paramore?
Does Avril Lavigne still have fans?
Should I write the word FUCK on my skin 4evr?

Avey Tare lets ppl stream his album on NPR, gets divorced from his wife

Posted: 14 Oct 2010 08:28 AM PDT

Stream: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=130512028


Avey Tare is doing the thing where he is letting ppl stream his new album "Down There" 4 free on NPR even though it already leaked and most of his early adopter fans already 'found the leak' [via rapidshare / mediafire]. Guess he is just hoping that cool dads buy his albums off iTunes/at Best Buy/on lala.com. That's chill. Really not sure if the members of Animal Collective really care about making money, it seems like there is a huge competitive spirit within the band, and Avey Tare is basically trying to 'assert his alpha dog status' in the band, making Panda Bear feel like a 'huge failure' for not having an album ready.

Avey Bro also made this 'intensely personal' artsy interview video abt the process of making the video. He talks about a lot of weirdo things like Big Foot, crocodiles, and ghost stories, but then he talks about being 'mad bummed out' about splitting from his wife Kria Brekken. Seems really personal/artsy.

Wonder if a bunch of artists are going to 'rip off' this sort of blazed, introspective confessional artsy interview gimmick. Is Dave Portner the most important member of Animal Collective? Is this the only context in which you would listen to an artist ramble for 20 minutes abt their album?

Seems like "Down There" is kinda heavy. It seems like the record is abt divorce, Avey's Grandmother dying, and his sister getting cancer.

Does Dave Portner seem like a chill bro?
How many times did he say 'vibes'?
Do u just wanna 'be there' for Dave bro?

Do u think he h8s Panda Bear/enjoys 'crushing his soul'?
Is Avey Tare elevating his brand way above Panda Bear?
Would Noah Lennox ever get this vulnerable with his fans?
Is "Down There" the album of the year?
R u gonna 'stream this album' on NPR, or do u already have 'the leak'?
Did Kria Brekken ruin her life/career by divorcing Avey Tare?
Now that Avey is single, will his music be better?
Is Avey Tare indie music's most eligible bachelor?

The Bro from Hootie and the Blowfish drops a new indie album

Posted: 13 Oct 2010 05:07 PM PDT

Link: http://www.countryweekly.com/darius_new_album_is_out_tuesday/news/5133


Have been trying to find new buzzbands but can't rlly find very many in the boring ass indie genre. Decided to look in some new genres to try to be more alt, and stumbled upon this blipster bro named "Darion Rucker" who used to be in the ultimate buzzband of all time named Hootie at the Blowfish.

Vibing pretty hard. Feeling inspired, like I am in touch with 'the heartland of America' or something. He seems hella chill, like he has lived a good life, and just wants to talk abt universal themes with u.

In the Blowfish, Darius Rucker wrote songs that appealed to all humans, sorta like the 'mainstream Animal Collective' of the 1990s. Sold mad albums. Got mad pussie. Vibed out hard. Anyways, probs gonna vibe out to some Hootbro, wait and see if it gets a 10.0 on Pitchfork.

Do u think Hootie can sell 'mad albums' as a country artist?
Will white ppl shopping at Wal Mart buy a black country artist's albums?
Do some ppl still think Darius Rucker is 'white'?
If Hootie and the Blowfish got back together, would they change the indie scene?

Darius Rucker exploded onto the country scene a couple of years ago with three straight No. 1 hits, 1.5 million in album sales and a Country Music Association trophy.


Kinda wanna vibe out with him. It seems like he is just a chill blipster country bro. U can go do 'honky ass shit' with him. Tip over some cows. Drive some tractors. Harvest corn [via corn syrup].

Is Darius Rucker a 'buzzband 2 watch'?
Was Darius Rucker 'the very first blipster'?
Was Hootie and the Blowfish the ultimate 'indie band gone mainstream' of all time?

Should Kanye West collab with Hootbro?

...only wanna be with yall.