Wednesday, October 13, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

What would ur life be like if u couldn't hear buzzbands?

Posted: 13 Oct 2010 02:20 PM PDT


Sometimes I wake up after having terrible nightmares. I dream that I have lost one of my five senses.

One time, I dreamt that I couldn't see any more, and I was stuck in the middle of a forest trying to navigate by 'feeling it all around', unable to see all of the things that were in front of me. Another time I had a dream that I could no longer taste--sitting at a buffet of neverending Chili's, Subway, and McFlurries, however, there was no joy in my tastebuds. I had a dream that I could no longer smell, and when I smoked marijuana, I could no longer 'get high' because my smell buds were dead. One other nightmare I found myself unable to 'feel' in the middle of receiving a tugjob. I am unable to 'cum' and must explain to my partner that I can no longer feel the tight grip of their hand on my peen.

My ultimate nightmare is a recurring one, where I lose the ability to hear. I had my earbuds embedded deep within my ears, music jamming so loud, really vibing out to all of the buzzbands on my iPod Phone. However, all of a sudden the musics cut out. I fiddled with the headphone jack on the phone, and double checked the volume settings. Everything seemed fine. Frantically scrolled thru all of my Music Library, hoping my iPod wasn't broken.

It turned out my iPod was just fine. It turned out that my hearing was gone. The ultimate nightmare. What would I do if I couldn't enjoy buzzbands? Would I lose 40-70% of my personal brand that is constructed around the indie music scene? How would I fill my time if I couldn't scan blogs all day searching 4 relevant artists?

I had lost the ability to 'hear'. I had lost the ability to be an active member of the buzzband ecosystem.

How would I escape from all of the troubled thoughts in my head without free mp3s?
What would I listen 2 when I smoked dank?
How could I impress a girl without making her an indie mix CD/playlist?

If you go to a relevant music festival, will there be some1 there to do 'sign language' to convey the vibe of the buzzband + relay important meaningful lyrics 2 u?

Yes, there will be.

It seems like there is an entire demographic of 'deaf ppl' out there who can't hear buzzbands, but still deserve the opportunity to 'love music.'

There is so much emphasis on buzzbands to create 'buzzworthy mp3s', however, maybe there's a lot of ppl who can't hear who don't even require MP3s. Maybe if you just have a 'cool-looking' personal brand, and have some insightful lyrics for deaf ppl, ur buzzband can sell a lot of albums. Maybe there' people out there who will 'still buy albums' just as long as there is sweet album art + content is ur 'CD booklet.' Always thought that in order 2 make a great buzzband u just had to make 'great noises recorded as MP3s' and 'look cool', however, it seems like maybe u only need to 'look kewl.'

Am I going 2 go deaf 1 day and lose my ability to hear?
Will I still be able to hear buzzworthy mp3s of yesterday in my head?
Do the hearing impaired deserve 2 enjoy buzzbands?
Is there more to a buzzband than just 'listening' and 'feeling kewl'?

Don't forget abt disabled ppl. They wanna ride chillwaves, uncover buzzbands, throw down rape gazes, and attend relevant music festivals, too. Feeling inspired. Might start a buzzband without traditional 'music'

Maybe in a way, we're all already kinda deaf.
Maybe we need to stop listening to buzzbands
There is a language of buzz
A method of buzzworthy communication
that transcends audio/visual vibes
Beyond some sort of media that u can 'blog abt'

True buzzbands appeal 2 all humans
Equal opportunities
Making accommodations 4 those with special needs
Every1 is invited to experience their brand

Do u think the 'sign language' ppl at music festivals are 'chill' or do they ruin vibes for people just trying to enjoy buzzbands?
Do all humans have the right to enjoy buzzbands?
Would u still enjoy ur favourite buzzband even if u could no longer hear?
What do bands need to do to appeal to the 'hearing impaired'?
Should Barry Obama pass some sort of law that requires clubowners to staff a full time 'signer'?

Does sign language get u 'hornie' if the lyrics are sexie?

Ariel Pink 'crushes it' at ACL

Posted: 13 Oct 2010 10:49 AM PDT

Link: http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2010/10/acl_2010_day_1.html
Photos by Tim Griffin


Ariel Pink
I remember when u used to be an underground lofi sensation
but look at u now
ur 'crushing it'
and/or 'killing it'
and possibly 'sleighing'
at relevant music festivals.

Look at u now, Ariel
Chilling out with a bed of roses on ur microphone
like the relevant indie sensation that u r
U look good, Ariel
New series of tats on ur arm

Ur such an indie diva
Bet u were like
'I'm not going on stage til there are effing roses on my mic stand'
Really makes the music sound better
Find ur brand 2 be beautiful


Just wish we could chill together
and share a pizza
and a bottle of wine
in the VIP section
of a relevant music festival.

Sometimes
I can't believe how far u've come
Never thought u would 'crossover'
to the mainstream indie festival scene

Ur the best, Ariel
Ur the effing best
U 'crushed it' in 2k10
Taking ur brand to the next level

Welcome to the big leagues, Ariel
This is the mother effing festival circuit

Has Ariel Pink 'arrived'?
Did u ever think Ariel would make it this far?
Does Ariel look chill/different?
Will Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti win album of the year 4 "Before Today"?

Gaspard Auge re-emerges from hiding, will Justice 'crush it' in 2k11?

Posted: 13 Oct 2010 09:16 AM PDT

Link: http://thecobrasnake.com/


Gaspard Auge is one half of the French banger wave bloghouse electro DJ producer duo Justice, a band from France that created many of the unforgettable hits of the bloghouse electro era. Then they kinda died, and that whole scene kinda died, except it is still big in Europe/California/at electronic music conventions. Seems like they are 'coming back' because Gaspy 'came out of hiding.'

Really have nothing 2 'report', just wanted to say 'hey look it's the dude from Justice. Can they still be relevant in the modern indie era?'

Seems like so much has changed since the electro era...
So much conceptual music
So much bleepy bloop indie music
Do u think Justice will just stay true to their audio aesthetic, or will they adapt/evolve?
How old were u the first time u heard Justice?
Did "DANCE" change ur life and become the theme song of the 'party phase' of ur life?

What is ur life like now compared 2 when Justice was relevant?
Will their new album help u return to that place, or just get u depressed about being a dead-end 20something living at home with ur parents/working at Subway?

Amber Rose goes 2 a fashion show without Kanye West

Posted: 13 Oct 2010 08:54 AM PDT


Hi.
I'm Amber Rose.
Do u remember me?
I'm usually the Arm Candy of Kanye West

But today I'm alone
Sitting next 2 some 'effing nobody'
Check out the 'dweeb' sitting behind me
What a bunch of clowns.

Miss Kanye being here
He really memefied our relationship any opportunity we got
Feel like he's the only 1 who really deserves my 'insane ass' curves

Or Like that time I dressed like a conservative skank

Wish Kanye still <3ed me.
Now I am just a second tier meme
Tons of lamestreamers / mainstreamers
taking pix of me with their cell phone cams.

I guess what they say is true
"A woman is nothing without her man."
The truth is
I am beyond insignificant
without Kanye West

Is Amber Rose the #1 indie skank of all time?
Does Amber Rose deserve 2 be with Kanye West?
Do u think Kanye West is all like 'I'm busy with my album, yall--no time 2 bone curvy bitches'?
Should Amber Rose start a slutwave sound project?
Do u think it is difficult 2 date 'regular bros' when u've been with the blipster G-d Kanye West?

Lamestreamers on Facebook claim the Arcade Fire got them 'high'

Posted: 12 Oct 2010 07:33 PM PDT


As yall probs already know, Lamestreamers are everywhere, learning more about alternative culture, assimilating 2 vibe 2 indie bands just to enhance their personal brands 2 be kewl. One place lamestreamers like to hang out is the Facebook--a popular online dating service that gained popularity after the popular movie 'The Social Network'.

Anyways, just saw these 2 lamestreamers 'invade' my feed, singing some Arcade Fire lyrics.

First, some lamestreamer tries to be 'deep' by saying she is "in The_Suburbs" [via status message], letting ppl know that she identifies hard with the Arcade Fire brand. Wonder if most people saw this update and were like, 'ya--we all live in the suburbs--we're all lamestreamers.'

Then some lamestreamer is all like 'la la la la. Suburbs, yall. That's where I live. They wrote an album abt my hometown.'

Then a new lamestreamer is like "Mountains beyond mountains is the best mp3 evr!"

Some effing mainstreamer comes along and asks if every1 is 'high', because indie lyrics make u sound rlly effed up.

The Lamestreamer from The_Suburbs is like, "Yes. We are high. High off the Arcade Fire's live performance. It was a moving, beautiful experience that I cannot convey inside of facebook. U simply have to see them if u want to understand."

Next, the mainstreamer is like "huh? What? An arcade is on fire? What is that? s000 confused yall."

Then the lamestreamer provides her with a youtube link, exposing her to the new, kewl buzzband the Arcade Fire.

*****
Feel kinda sad witnessing this. Like we just watched the process of an indie band going mainstream on a micro level or something. Just got super sad on the inside.

Is facebook ruining the authenticity of indie bands?
Has the Arcade Fire 'gone down the shitter'?
do lamestreamers 'ruin everything'?
Should Mark Zuckerberg kick off users in who are Lamestreamers?