Friday, October 8, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

My mom took me to see buzzbands at a relevant music festival and I h8 her 4 it.

Posted: 08 Oct 2010 12:44 PM PDT

Photo by Weird Magic dot biz


One day, I will be a cool dad, and I will insist on my offspring being exposed to the same content/media that I was exposed to in order to make them feel more relevant/cultured. I will take my son to a dive bar. I will take my son to a relevant music festival. I will make sure my son gets ‘shitfaced’ in VIP, drinking free vodka/beer. I will make sure that my son checks a series of internet blogs every day and harvests the correct MP3s. I will browse his iTunes library, double checking for ‘buzz errors’ more closely than I check his math homework.

I can’t wait to be a cool dad / free-spirited alt mom.
I can’t wait to harvest a relevant child. It seems easier than harvesting a relevant buzzband.

However, what if things go wrong? What if I take my child to a music festival, and they have a shitty time? What if they h8 me, they h8 what I’m all about, and find some ‘kewl, new counterculture’ that represents something cooler, and fresher than my content-stream? What if I take them to see the 30th reunion concert at Madison Square Garden, and they fall asleep because it is boring? What if

Feel sad abt growing older.
I am not scared of the mainstream challenges of parenthood
Changing Diapers, memorizing multiplication tables, lessons in social + environmental responsbility
Worried that my generation’s window of cultural tastemaking is closing
We only have 2 more years left to harvest buzzbands, then we will be stuck celebrating the same pool of relevant buzzbands from 2k4-2k14 for the next 50 years.

“If the children don’t grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We’re just a million little gods causin’ rain storms turnin’ every good thing to
rust.
I guess we’ll just have to adjust.” -Win Butler

Will probably just turn into a psychologically abusive parent, and my disconnected relationship with modern culture will have a huge impact on my son:
“Get your goddamn fingers out of your ears. Listen to this shit. We waited all day to get to the front. I spent $300 on a 3-day pass 4 u, and there wasn’t a kiddie pass. Listen to this music. Do you know how buzzworthy this band was on their first album? Do u know how to appreciate buzzbands? Listen, I know they might not be as cool as the bands you like, but this band is undeniably good. You see, we used to be a part of something–back when indie music was harvested from blogs and the internet. Now this band has outlasted that era, building a brand that resonates with a global audience. Do you know how impressive that is? This means a lot to me, and you are being a disrespectful brat by plugging up your ears.

This means a lot to me.
You are not my son.
You are not my son.
My Son Respects his elders.
My Son Respects Buzzbands.

Shame on you.
Shame on you.”

R u worried abt growing older?
Will u be cooler than ur kid?
Can blogs/Gen Y be ‘tastemakers’ 4 evr?
R u gonna h8 ur son/daughter if they try to cultivate their own tastes?
R u scared of dying, physically & culturally?

Is Regine depressed?

Posted: 08 Oct 2010 11:51 AM PDT

Photo by Courtney Briggs via
http://www.prefixmag.com/photos/arcade-fire-henry-miller-library-in-big-sur-pics/23



Regine…
Cheer up Regine
What are u so sad abt?
Pick ur head up, hold ur chin up high
Get up off the ground

U r basically the next big female indie sex icon [link]
Don’t make me all sad.

Oh Regine…

Be proud–ur in the
Selling mad albums
making mad bank
taking the indie movement 2 such great heights

Oh Regine…

Also don’t forget
ur married 2 Win Butler
the most successful American-Canadian musician in the history of the world
If u get all depressed, then his songs will get all depressing
then no1 will want to listen to depressing mp3s
and ur brand might deteriorate

Cheer up Regine
Imagine ur life if u had married the ‘dude who bangs on shit’

Stand up tall, Regine
don’t be sad and depressed
Put on ur military coat
and play ur zany instrument
sing loud and proud

That’s the Regine I know and <3
Oh Regine…
Oh Regine…

Ur beautiful on the inside and out
Don’t get depressed
Stand up, sing loud
Ur Regine “Effing” Chassagne-Butler
and no1 can take that away from u

Do yall <3 Regine Chassagne?
Is she the #1 female in indie music right now?
Has Regine ‘made the leap’ to top tier indie female sex icon after The Suburbs?
Are yall on #TeamAlice or #TeamRegine?
Would the be ‘nothing’ without Regine?

Unchill AZN Bro stars in the new video 4 slutwave songstress Ke$ha

Posted: 08 Oct 2010 10:16 AM PDT


I spy
with my lil eye
some1 so unchill

In this Where’s Waldo-esque music video
littered with tons of ppl dressed all outlandishly
I see u
I see u
I spy ur ass

One unchill azn
One unchill azn bro
There u r

1:08
hopping up and down
feeling free
Don’t understand why you weren’t ‘featured’ in this video
and instead were sort of just a ‘background’ face
Producers really ‘effed up’
Instead, we only have a single moment of brilliance

So much slutwave dancing
slutwave lyrics
slutwave humans to distract us
But that 1 moment

I see u
I’ve found u
Ur so unchill

Is Unchill AZN bro a slutwave artist?
R u tired of Unchill AZN bro?
Did he ruin the vibes of this music video?
Will UnChill AZN Bro crossover and shake his ass in rap videos?
Is UnChill AZN Bro still unchill, or is he chill now?

Do yall remember the time Unchill AZN Bro was in Uffie’s “Pop the Glock” Music video?

‘hey’

Alice Glass looks effing sexie in the new Crystal Castles video

Posted: 08 Oct 2010 09:45 AM PDT


Hi Alice
I recently wrote a series of posts that were all worried abt u
Due to ur on-stage presence
but then I saw the new video for “Baptism”
and u look better than ever.

Sorry 4 being concerned abt u
Or insinuating that you had some sort of substance abuse problems
Ur killing it, girl
Keep doin ur thang.

I’m soo protective ovr u
Watch u so closely.
As vigilant as the Virgin Mary
Waiting on 3 wisemen 2 show up with killer gifts

Kinda worried abt the bros in the rape mask bros
They seem rlly kreepy
U sure they are ur friends?
Know it might just be for ‘imagery’ or whatever
but still–if something goes wrong, u know my number

Feeling scared.
Just <3 u Alice
U really are the #1 female in indie music right now
and u ‘killed it’ in this video

Is Baptism the #1 Crystal Castles video of all time?
Has Crystal Castles hit a home run?
Do yall support CC for showcasing more than ever?
Is a legit indie sex icon?
Do u <3 Alice Glass’s personal brand?
Will ride the slutwave?