Wednesday, October 6, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF


Yolandi shows off her conceptual titties in new Die Antwoord video

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 04:32 PM PDT


Just watched this ‘new video’ by . Really don’t care abt this band/rap group, but they went viral like a year ago for being zany white trash people from a Third World country. This video sorta makes me sad for all the people that ‘took them seriously’, saying they had mad game, represented a new cultural movement, and would be around for a long time. Clearly, they are just ‘in it to meme’, don’t care about quality, and are just trying to be outlandish as possible. Don’t care if their brands are outlandish, just in the modern American meme environment, this kinda stuff is just gimmicky. Wonder if they are gonna ‘sell mad albums’ or if they already peaked as a meme/ecommerce brand that can sell crap.

All I know is that Yolandi Visser took off her top, showed off her titties, and didn’t have any nipples for some reason. Seems to have mouths where her nipples should be. Rlly confused. Used to sort of think she was ‘hot’ but now worried her breasts will ‘bite off’ my peen of they go near her.

Would u still ‘tittie fuck’ her or r u scared?

Then Diplo was there and he was all ‘Hey I’m dressed like .’

Then black ppl were like ‘hey we’re dressed like the white rappers’

Then Yolandi was like ‘hey i have a zany rat coat’

Just like ‘Cmon . We get it. Ur from South Africa. Ur zany. U spit fast rhymes. Kewl’

Is a meme that went over-viral?
Is a ‘legitimate artist/band/rap duo’?
Did Diplo tarnish his brand by producing their song?
Is Yolandi still ‘mad hot’, or are u ‘over’ her?
Do yall hope people stop buying into this crap?
Are the people who think Kanye West is ‘real art’ the same ppl who are like ‘ is the effing shit, yall’?

The Gap rebrands with Helvetica font 2 look more like Am Appy

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 02:57 PM PDT


So confused about the state of retailers in the modern world. Keep hearing rumors abt Am Appy going under, so I am not sure why The Gap would want to copy their logo, utilizing the popular font ‘’ to represent their corporate brand identity. It seems like a minimal logo, just relying on ‘a famous font’ to carry ur brand and inspire mad sales.

Does n e 1 know why so many brands use ‘’ font?
Is Helvetty still relevant? Does it resonate with consumers?
Do u wish relevant graphic designers came up with a new, alt, authentic font?
Did Jeff ‘crush it’/'kill it’ when he designed Helvetty?
R u more of an Arial/Cosmic Sands type of bro?

Feel like the GAP might start using sexy, risque ads, or something. Part of me wonders if the future of the Am App aesthetic is headed towards The Gap aesthetic, and if The Gap is headed towards AmApp.

Is it weird how brands evolve to try to retain customers, instead of just letting them find a new brand that sells clothes that fit their personal branding/career needs + evolving body types?

Is The Gap for ‘Fat People’? Is GAP unchill because they don’t have a factory in America where they pay legalized workers above market wages?
What is ur perception of the GAP/people who shop there/people who work there?

What brands do u even like any more?
Will a Helvetty logo make u <3 the Gap more than evr?

Should American Apparel 'sue the fuck' out of The Gap?

Should Target ‘sue the fuck’ out of Am Appy?

Should Am Airlies ‘sue the fuck’ out of Target?

Should [brand that has Helvetty logo] sue the eff out of [brand that has Helvetty] logo?
Is still authentic, or has it finally ‘gone mainstream’?
What are some new alt fonts that are chill/more authentic than ?
Do u shop at The Gap?
Is ‘retail shopping’ 4 lamestreamers?

NSFW: Brooklyn ‘effing hipster’ entrepreneurs start a vintage porn zine, get profiled in NYTimes

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 12:26 PM PDT

Video may not be playable in ur RSS reader


Apparently, some couple from Brooklyn has started a porn magazine, except they are saying it is ‘authentic, vintage porn’ instead of just the modern digital smutty stuff. I feel confused by different genres of porn that are based on aesthetical vibes, and not based on ‘content.’ Feel like all porn should be designed to ‘get u off’ and people who want to J.O. to a ‘vintage feeling’ picture of people having sex should just build a time machine and go back to the 70s or something. Wish ppl could appreciate big fake titties and high-resolution digital close-ups of vaginas getting ‘rammed’ by 10 inch penises.

S000 pissed at this ‘entrepreneurial couple’ for getting an NY Times profile for selling smut. Guess porn drives hits though, and it helps that they look like huge ‘effing hipsters.’ They seem to be the ‘modern Brooklynite couple.’ Wish I could be in that relaish :-(. bet they have ‘sick’ swinger parties.

They got some NYTimes profile piece that keeps comparing them 2/referencing Am Appy. Here is the intro that really helps u 2 ‘dive in’ 2 their world:

"HOLD it." Jonathan Leder was standing behind a tripod on the porch of a musty, wood-shingle house in West Kill, N.Y., pointing his camera at a 19-year-old model, Britney Nola, who was wearing nothing but an unbuttoned pink shirt from American Apparel and a pair of slouchy blue socks.

Might start some sort of porn magazine so I can be relevant enough to get an NYTimes writeup. Kinda jealous/sad.

Thought I had to do something ‘honorable’ to get in the NYTimes, but I guess now I can start some sort of drug dealership/porn company/ assassination firm, and as long as I am ‘based in Brooklyn’ and have some sort of authentic gimmick, I can get blggd abt.

Do yall <3 vintage porn or the ‘big tittied fake stuff’?

Mr. Leder is no ordinary pornographer. Along with his wife and editor, Danielle, the bearded, flannel-wearing Mr. Leder is the creator of Jacques, an upstart adult magazine in Brooklyn that reinterprets vintage Playboy in the age of 3-D porn and GPS hookups.

Joined by a small but influential roster of new pinup magazines — published in places like Amsterdam and the Lower East Side — Jacques is offering a self-conscious throwback to the magazines of the late 1960s and early 1970s, before the days of silicone implants, Photoshop and streaming HD video.

Do u h8 niche, limited-run magazines that pop up even though the magazine industry is dying?

Rlly just want to be in a modern porn relaish. Feeling sad. I thought porn was supposed to keep u from needing a real human, but this couple seems to prove that you can ‘love porn’ with ur significant other, watch it 2gether, make it together, cum 2gether.

Here is a part of the article where a blogger talks about how important magazines are even though they are a blog in another format.

"As magazines become more-premium objects, they use the paper and the physical experience as part of the narrative," said Andrew Losowsky, editor of the Magtastic Blogsplosion, a blog that chronicles the global magazine industry.

When was the last time u bought a magazine?
Is ‘mad authentic’?
Will become the new Playboy?
Do yall <3 or h8 ‘’?
Will find the ?
Do u watch pornography with ur partner?

Might buy their next issue which is apparently ‘all AZN’

I wonder if even really needs to exist, or if I can just find a free soft porn tumblr.

Nevermind. Just watched this video. Came super hard [via cum imagery].

I guess I was over-thinking it and all porn is good porn.

Kinda wet, yall.

Is all porn the same?
Are these people ‘visionaries’ or just ‘horn balls’ who are trying to out-gimmick the world?
Is Jonathan Leder the new Dov Charney?
Do u think they are ‘full of shit’ or authentic artists?
Is pornography the ‘master art’?
What is ur favourite kind of porn?
Do yall h8 this era of magazines becoming ‘vintage’ things that we are supposed to ‘support’/'keep alive’ as an ‘art form’?
Would u rather read a porn blog, porn magazine, or porn streaming video website?

Should I close this post with an excerpt about nipples ‘going soft’ + needing ice to get them hard again?

Back at the shoot, camera finally loaded, Mr. Leder took several shots of Ms. Nola, who seemed to gain confidence as the day went on. Her posture seemed more self-assured, her gaze more direct. The photos were coming together, but Mr. Leder found his eye drawn to an unfortunate side effect of the summer heat. Ms. Nola's nipples seemed to be wilting.

"Ginger, would you grab some ice?" Mr. Leder asked Ginger Ralph, a hairstylist, who returned from the kitchen moments later with a bowlful.

"It's always the small details, you know?" Mr. Leder said.

What do yall use when ur nipples go soft but ur shooting some vintage-feeling porn self-portraits of urself?

NSFW: Bloghouse sex icon Uffie comes out of retirement, releases new+slutwave music video

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 10:04 AM PDT


Uffie is some blog house rapper on Ed Banger Records, the home of the popular banger DJ duo Justice. Back during the blog house era, Uffie was a ‘sex icon’ as a sexy autotune rapper. Some say that she was the inspiration behind some of the most successful acts such as Ke$ha, Rihanna and Feist. Uffie seems to be ‘trying to make a come back’, but I am not sure if any1 cares any more. Seems like the music scene has evolved, but maybe she has a ‘strong following’ in Europe.

She released a new music video for the song “Difficult.” Sorta let down by the video. Of course I knew the song was going to be subpar, but I was hoping that it would at least have a sexy music video that figured some nice looking juggs bouncing around. Unfortunately, it is just a concept art video that isn’t rlly interesting / has no climax. Feel all like ‘yawn’ as I watch this, tuned out, like my wife of 25 years is telling me another boring story.

Is this song ‘terrible’?
Is Uffie ‘beyond over’?
Can bloghouse legends survive in the modern indiesphere?
Do u wish Uffie tried a lil bit harder 2 ride the ?
Do u wish bands stopped trying to be all artsy and just made videos that were overtly sexual/violent 2 make fans happy?
Is Uffie still sexie?
Do yall miss the era where Uffie just showed off her gargonzolas all the time? [link]

Miss u [link]

Oliver Sim of the XX ‘bangs the shit’ out of a drum, effing ‘kills it’

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 07:20 AM PDT

BANG BANG BOOM CRASH BEEM BOOM BAM BANG


Oliver
Put the bass down
break out the cymbal
It’s time to
Let out the pain

It’s time to make some noise
Prove ur range as a musician
Add another texture 2 the live band
BANG BANG BA-BANG BANG BANG BOOM BANG BEEM

Jimmy jangling tambourines is 4 bitches [link]
Real men bang shit
Ur killing it, brah
Effing sleighing that cymbal

BANG BANG BOOM CRASH BEEM BOOM BAM BANG

Cmon bro
Bang that shit like u mean it

I know it is frustrating to not have a real drummer who can play real drums
But this is ur band
ur responsibility
and banging on a cymbal will help u 2 win over people who h8 ur band’s live percussion setup

Oliver bro
Thnx 4 killing it
BANG BANG BOOM CRASH BEEM BOOM BAM BANG

I am the cymbal
I am ready for abuse

BANG

Does Oliver Sim ‘kill it’ on cymbal?
Should he just play the cymbal full time?
Do u think this is a passive aggressive message to Jamie XX to ‘get his ass some drum lessons’?
Will Oliver bangy banging on the cymbal be great on Fallon? [link]

Zach Galifianakis tries to make ‘serious, quirky, meaningful’ movie bc he’s not rlly that funnie

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 06:14 AM PDT


Not sure why people ‘cream their pants’ over Zach Galifianakis. He seems to have been branded as some sort of ‘authentic comedian’, but ultimately has one of the most limited ranges in the history of comedians. Not sure why ppl on the internet like to ‘hype up’ Aziz Ansari + Gallyfanak so much. Do yall think they are ‘one trick ponies’?

Just saw this trailer for It’s Kind of A Funny Story. It seems like there is some ‘maladjusted youth’ who is sent to an insane asylum, then Zack Brofinaky is there being all insane in a quirky way, then they start to talk, u find out that Zach G has problems 2, then they learn that life is effing beautiful in a quirky way. Just one of those that would have won an Academy Award for ‘Best Cute Lil Quirky Indie movie’ back in 2002, but now every1 is all tired of this aesthetic and ‘totes sees thru it.’

Would honestly rather go see the new Robert Patterson Vampire movie or maybe see Sylvester Stallone or something. Might just stay home and watch the Lifetime Movie Network so I can get more in touch with ‘real life humans.’ Soo pissed at the portrayal of ‘reality’ in indie films. Cmon yall–gimme a break. I don’t hang out with quirky ppl who are searching 4 meaning thru relationships. Not really into discovering ‘why I feel s00 weird and maladjusted in this mainstream society.’

Which version of the movie poster makes the movie seem like an authentic quirky indie comedie?

The version with the zany font + zanily posed stars?


Sometimes what’s in yalls heads isn’t as zany/indie/quirkie as u think.

Or the Helvetty + meaningfully cropped pix + meaningful colour scheme?

Are yall gonna go see this movie, or would u rather just mash up ‘Garden State’ with ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’?

Is Zach Galifianakis ‘legit funnie’ or is he overrated by ‘bloggers/internet tastemakers’?
Does Zack Gally only have 1 or 2 gimmicks in his arsenal?
Is it going to be rlly sad when Zach G can’t ‘make the leap’ and
Do u feel bad for Zach Galfnks’s agent for convincing him that this movie would get him an Academy Award nomination?
Do yall h8 ‘indie films’ that are trying too hard to be ‘the lil indie that could’?
Do studios still think they can trick the general public into ‘rallying behind’ an ‘indie film’ even though it is a ‘studio film’?
Do u feel like this trailer could just have fart noises coming out of every1′s mouth and it would still convey the same tone/theme/vibes?

Coming to terms with the downfall of Panda Bear

Posted: 05 Oct 2010 05:55 PM PDT

Photos by BebZev


After the recent release of Avey Tare’s recent buzzworthy new MP3 [link], I had to come to terms with a harsh reality. I had to accept ‘the scene’ 4 what it was. I had to ‘let go’ of Panda Bear.

It reminds me of the time when I was playing basketball for the Chicago Bulls in the mid-1990s. We had just won 3 NBA championships, led by the human brand Michael Jordan. Unfortunately, he retired in an attempt to duck out of a gambling scandal, and our team was left without a star player. We had no go-to option who was there to win games for us.

During a huge playoff game, we were down at halftime. Our heads were down, and the ghost of Michael still haunted our team. We always thought he would come back for some reason. Our coach Phil Jackson said to us, “MICHAEL FUCKING JORDAN IS NOT WALKING THRU THOSE DOORS. WE ARE WHAT WE ARE. THIS IS OUR TEAM. EITHER WE WIN WITH WHAT WE GOT, OR WE FUCKING LOSE.”

Right now, we have to accept the fact that “Panda Bear is not walking thru those fucking doors.”

Panda Bear will not release TOMBOY in 2k10.
Panda Bear is not there for us in 2k10.
Panda Bear might ‘come back’ via Michael Jordan, but there are no guarantees.
No guarantees in professional sports, no guarantees in the indie music scene.
The magic + domination u once had aren’t always guaranteed.
Past success does not guarantee future success. (It does guarantee coverage, but that might make ppl h8 u more if u let them down.)
The indie scene must adapt, move forward, give up on 2k10 for the 10th time.
Some say that Avey Tare could be the new LaBrand James, carrying the indie scene to new levels.

Panda is gone.
Mourning Panda Bear

Soon, Panda Bear will come to my local scene
and I will wear a costume
that represents ‘Zombie’ Panda Bear
still living on the fumes of the hit album Person Pitch

It is time for me to accept that
1. Avey is ‘top dog’
2. Noah Lennox is not walking thru those effing doors

The indie scene is a team
The season will go on
With or without any buzzband
And the sooner we come to terms with Panda being gone
The sooner we can find something great again.

Noah Lennox.
R u there?
It’s me Carles.
I waited 4 u.
I really waited.

Gnite AnCos


PREVIOUSLY on 5/10/2010: Carles begs Panda 2 leak his new album

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2010/05/panda-bear-bro-r-u-there-when-is-ur-album-gonna-leak-need-u-2-save-2k10.html