Monday, October 4, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

BREAKING: Avey Tare releases new mp3, potentially ‘leap frogs’ Panda for AnCo Top Dog Status

Posted: 04 Oct 2010 05:02 PM PDT

Link: http://www.gorillavsbear.net/2010/10/04/mp3-new-avey-tare-lucky-1/


[MP3]
Avey Tare Lucky 1

Animal Collective consists of two main members–Avey Tare and Panda Bear. Both of them ‘went solo’, and they are currently involved in some sort of ‘pissing contest’ for relevancy, critical reception, and album sales cash. Avey Tare just released this new MP3, and many are wondering if Avey ‘jumped over’ Panda Bear for alpha dog status in Animal Collective.

Top Dog status means that he gets the most cash out of AnCo records, and gets ‘the first line of road broads’ who are throwing themselves at AnCo. The rest of the broads are ‘thrown to the dogs’ after the Top Dog decides who he wants.

Can’t tell if this mp3 is ‘amazing’/album of the year foreshadow-worthy, or if it is a ‘tank job.’

All I can rlly confirm is that it sounds better than the Panda Bear album that we have nvr heard. Feeling like ‘markets might be shifting’, Panda Bear can no longer ‘cruise control’ off the brand of Person Pitch, and Avey Tare has walked in2 the room with his cock swinging, saying “Listen Bitches. I am mother effing AnCo.”

Do yall <3 this MP3?
Has Avey Tare ‘hit a home run’?
Are u still into AnCo or growing out of them?
Is it time to get on #Team_Avey?
Is #TeamPanda dead?
Is AnCo irrelevant?
R u worried abt Panda Bear?
Who is the Top Dog of AnCo?
Avey?
Pand?
Geo?
Deaky?

Kanye West plays more boring songs on SNL, uses ‘smoke & mirrors’ 2 make ppl take him srsly

Posted: 04 Oct 2010 12:38 PM PDT


Saturday Night Live is a sketch show and they have musical guests that come and play. They usually have a stage with a boring ass band, but this time Kanye West was all like ‘nah. gonna have a white background yall.’

Kanye West was on the TV, and he made it all different because he wants u 2 believe he is a ‘real artist.’ Sorta like the same ‘BS’ that Lady Gaga pulls, except he is a rapper, and she just rolls around on the stage humping the ground and letting her boobies pop out. Sooo over this whole modern artist pop icon gimmick. Like ‘we get it, yall. ur more than just a singer… okay, kewl. Don’t care. Lemme just listen 2 u on my iPod or something instead of having to hear boring people shape their identity around taking ur seriously as an artist.’

S000 annoyed, yall.
Was really hoping Kanye West was going to stay retired 4evr, but now he is back and every1 has to cream their pants over him.
Do yall think Kanye West peaked 5-10 years ago?

Here is some other dumb performance where he brings out a bunch of ballerinas or something. At the beginning he ‘pretends he is playing a synth/sampler’ 2 make himself seem more authentic.

Not sure why ppl are creaming their pants over this stuff.
Totes another boring rap performance
Smoke and mirrors
boring ppl saying Kanye is ‘interesting’
and just because he is ‘more interesting’ than honky white dudes playing guitar, he gets ‘mad cred’
Feel like he should at least try to be more like Will.I.Am or something.

Is all rap the same?
Is kanye ovrrtd as an ‘artist’?
Do white people try to seem ‘chill’ with black culture by <3ing Kanye West and Jay-Z?
Did Kanye ‘fix’ Daft Punk [via strongers]?

Mark Zuckerberg goes to the premiere of his documentary about Facebook Social Network

Posted: 04 Oct 2010 09:55 AM PDT


Hey yall
It’s me
Mark Zuckerbro
Yes, I’m worth a billion dollars

Yall can go suck it.
I made facebook
with my bare hands
What the eff have u done with ur life?

I have a hit documentary abt my life.
WTF have u done with ur shitty life?
U just use my service
while I’m a fucking baller who owns ur info

See u in Cancun bitches
Not for vacay
but for when I actually buy that city/island/peninsula
My movie ‘’ kills it
Sorta like the newest Michael Moore documentary
Yall know u want to know abt me

Oh whaddup JT? U killin it or what son?

Yeah, I’m richer than u brah
I srsly wipe my ass with ur lifetime income
Have fun with that

Look at these fucking dunces
If they only knew the real story
If they really knew what it was like to have
genuine baller ass status

Go see my documentary: The Social Myspaces
Tweet abt it yall
Get ur social media on
metaphors abt

I’m
and I’m effing crushing it
killing it
sleighing

See all yall poor ppl later
If u can’t see my documentary,
Wipe ur ass with a $1 bill today, and pretend it is worth a million dollars then u will know what it is like 2 be me.

Laters!
-the Zuck

Best Coast invites a tween on stage to jimmy jangle a tambourine

Posted: 04 Oct 2010 07:08 AM PDT


is a popular fuzzy buzzy artist who inspires a ‘divisive’ reaction by blog readers who either <3 or h8 her. Many have grown tired of her dank + kitty antics, and want her to evolve to take 'the next step' by dumping her boyfriend WAVVES, dating some1 famous, like some1 in an NBC comedy, and going mad mainstream. Maybe on her next album she can write some deep piano songs and sound like Feist / Cat Power.

Anyways, she played LIVE and invited some tween girl on stage to shake a tambourine. It seems like is the lil girl's fave band, and this was truly a 'Make a Wish Foundation' type of moment. This lil girl seems mad alt. Had no idea what a buzzband was when I was her age. Feeling jeal that she has 'cool parents' who keep her relevant.

Do u think Pitchfork is going to ‘pan’ the little girl for failing 2 find the right beat at which 2 jimmy jangle the tambourine?
Should hire this girl as a permanent member?
Should this venue be ‘investigated’, trying to find out how a teen / tween got in the doors?
Do u think got this girl ‘high’ via second hand smoke / poured Grey Goose in2 her mouth [via Steven Aoki]?
Was this tween exploited as a meme to fool ppl into thinking that is a singer with ‘strong family values’ [via the Republican Party]?

Video Description:

sang to this little girl at Scion Garage Fest at Liberty Hall in Lawrence, KS, on Oct. 2, 2010. It was pretty adorable when they asked her to come onstage.

Really <3 Bestyy for inviting this lil girl on stage. Seems like she is really connecting with the past, remembering what it was like 2 be young, wanting 2 feel like a part of the music scene. Wonder if I will ever be asked on stage by a buzzband to ‘jimmy jangle a tambourine’, even though I am adding no real value 2 the live show.
Will this lil tween evolve into the next great indie singer / buzz band / jimmy jangler?
Did hire this girl 4 branding/perception purposes?
Do u feel like has a natural maternal quality, and is there going to be pressure on WAVVES to ‘start a family’ with her?
Will WAVVES want 2 settle down with Bestyy? or is he going2 be young 4evr?

Twin Shadow gets an 8.4 from Pitchfork, asserts ‘relevant buzzband’ status

Posted: 04 Oct 2010 06:02 AM PDT

Link: http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/14675-forget/


Twin Shadow was billed as ‘the only harvestable buzzband of 2k10′ [link] because we are in a huge buzz drought and 2k10 has been kinda lame. The blogosphere hasn’t really been able to ‘get excited’ abt a ‘movement’ and all we can rlly do is watch and Wavves smoke a bunch of weed. Unfortunately, their albums both got 8.4s from Pitchfork [link]. So many indie insiders were hoping that this album would ‘beat’ the WAVVCOAST 8.4 score, but it seems like P4k sorta ‘side stepped the issue’

Anyways, can’t really tell what ‘the agenda’ is with Twin Shadow + P4k. It seems like they are ‘playing it safe’, don’t wanna overhype it, but want ppl to ‘take it seriously’ in a buzzworthy kinda way. Really wish they had put it 0.1 points above BestWavv so that we would have a warmer memory of 2k10. Seems like we might look back and h8 it, unless there are ‘promising new buzzbands’ that we can get excited abt.

Seems like 2k10 might just be an 8.4 of a year (adjusted 4 inflation) while 2k9 was like a 9.3. Wonder if 2k11 will be a 10.0 year. Wonder if a 10.0 year will happen while I am still alive

Here is some paragraph where they manage to say ‘yes, he’s from Brooklyn’ then do the standard entry-level comparisons 2 nostalgic no-new-wave bands:

But while the 26-year-old Brooklynite’s music is steeped in 1980s new wave– he sometimes takes on Morrissey’s vocal tone and phrasing, and threads of British bands like Echo and the Bunnymen and Depeche Mode run through his songs– Lewis does well by this much-revisited era. Simplicity is part of what carries it over. On Forget, his debut full-length, he mostly sticks with a small collection of synth sounds– strings, organ, piano, and brass– along with electric guitar and drum machine.

Jesus Christ.

Here is the standard part where they are like ‘ya, that dude from Grizzly Bear produced it.’

The instruments are clean, shimmery, and carefully placed. With Grizzly Bear’s Chris Taylor handling production, this limited palette proves to be more than enough to work with, and each song is immediately distinguishable from the others. Lewis’ execution is immaculate, and he manages to make these familiar sounds into something that sounds refreshing and even dazzling.

Not sure how to feel abt this review. Guess it is the same poopy woopy stuff, but still feel ‘relieved’ that Twin Shadow achieved Best New Music Status. This means that Twin Shadow’s album must be ‘taken seriously’ when aggregating the ‘best

Do yall buy into Twin Shadow?
Is Twin Shadow ‘officially a buzzband 2day’?
Does it feel good 2 know that Twin Shadow was ‘finally harvested’?
Is Twin Shadow’s album ‘better than’ / WAVVES’ album?
Will Twin Shadow’s second album be ‘a masterpiece’?
If Twin Shadow came out in 2k9, could he have been lumped into the chillwave genre, and would that have helped his career?
Do yall h8 2k10?
If u had to rate ur 2k10 in terms of ‘buzz mp3s filling up ur iPod’, what would u give it?

Disgruntled alt Subway employee vlogs abt how to order a sandwich ‘the right way’

Posted: 03 Oct 2010 08:42 PM PDT


I go to Subway every day for lunch, because I am on the Five Dollar Footlong subway diet. So many choices. Great, fresh breads. Complex cheeses. Fresh meat. Garden ripe veggies. So many different sauces with which my sandy can be lathered. Really thought it was a chill place where the franchise owners truly care about their customers. Usually get a meatball sub with extra chicken and salami. Add some ranch. Big bag of Doritos. What do yall get?

Anyways, I always thought that ‘the customer is always right’, but then I was watching youtube, and it seems like this alternative Subway employee, aka ‘sandwich artist’ is all pissed abt how I order my sandwich. He seems to be ‘bitching at me’ because I don’t ‘order my sandwich’ the ‘right way.’ Just wish I could go 2 subway without being yelled at by some alt dude :-( Feeling sad, like I might have to start eating at Quizno’s or something.

Wonder if this bro is ‘out of line’ and corporate is going to ‘come down on his ass.’
Seems like he should chill on the customers. Wish there was just some computer screen where I entered my order, and I didn’t have to look into the ass-hole faces of employees who h8 me. Just wanted a sandwich.
This is effing bullshit.
Might start eating fastfood again, giving up the Subby Diet [via Jarr0d].

So bummed.

Do all fast food employees h8 their customers bc they are richer than they r?
Does this bro ‘disgrace’ sandwich artists?
Does this bro need to get his ass ‘fired’?
Should he get an internship with Quizno’s / Jimmy John’s / Which Wich / Blimpie / Schlotzky’s?
Should Subway change their ordering system?
Should Subway close down?
Does Subway bread /meat /veggies taste ‘like shit’?
Do u think this bro uses turkey slices as toilet paper then puts them in ur sammy?

Some AZN raver writes Steve Aoki’s name on her breasts

Posted: 03 Oct 2010 05:56 PM PDT

Link: www.thecobrasnakes.org


From what I understand, has a huge following in many AZN countries. They basically see him as some sort of electro deity because most AZNs believe in multiple Gods, so they are more willing to turn a bro into a God if he makes them happy / inspires some sort of ‘pandemonium’ whenever he leaves the city. From what I understand, the popular boxer Manny Pacquaio is also in the process of converting into an AZN God.

Anyways, this electro raver seems ‘mad dedicated’ to Steven Aoki. She plastered his name all over her ‘chest’. At first I was like ‘Is that a tattoo?’ but then it kinda started fading away.

Seems like is the ‘one man Beatles’ of Asia.

Do yall think is one of the most famous international AZNs in the world? Does he deserve to be a G-d or is that blasphemous?

Really feels like they believe he can turn water in2 Grey Goose.

Should I get a Aoki bag in 2k10?

Do yall <3 Steve Aoki?
Do u <3 ‘raver tits’?
Can Asians have blue eyes? Or are those contacts?
Do u <3 AZNs?
Do u wish u lived in a country where Steven Aoki had ‘god status’?