Sometimes I get scared, scared that I can’t stay relevant forever. Every day a new fan comes to my blog and reads it. Tweens grow up, search for self-awareness. Parents look for cool web content that gives them a perspective on the worldviews of their children. New fans ‘stumble upon’ HRO via tweet/facebooks/stumbling upon, etc. I wonder if with each new fan, HRO becomes a little bit less authentic.
Wonder if there is a ‘new frontier’ of readers who can be cultivated, converted into HRO loyalist. Fans who know how to chill. Readers who just want to be authentic.
Wonder if cats/kittens are the future of HRO readers. Seems like they will be chill, and they can just mill around on top of their macbooks, vibing out, scrolling down the page, enjoying the blog for what it is–a blog.
So many ppl complain “Carles, the commenters are soo annoying” “Carles, the commenters try to sound just like u.” “Carles, every1 just tries to get first.” “Carles, u were relevant in 2k4″ “Carles, u need to post more music” “Carles, ______ is not very alt” “Carles, ur mainstream writings are brilliant, why do u waste time on buzzbands?” “Carles, ur site is NSFW” “Carles, ______ sux. They shouldn’t be a buzzband” “Carles, don’t make fun of ______ for smoking dank.” “Carles, all u do is rely on a formula that isn’t funny any more.” “Carles, why did u hire shitty writers to generate so much shitty content?” “Carles, why do u keep pretending to retire?” “Carles, u post too much” “Carles, u don’t post enough” “Carles, where is the HIPSTER RUNOFF EP?” “Carles, will u give me a job with HRO inc?” “Carles, why are ur ads soo annoying” “Carles, did u steal my weed?” “carles, why r u so negative towards artists?” “Carles, why r u such a _______?” “Who the eff do u think u r?”
So many questions/concerns/h8rs/<3rs So many messages Sometimes I just don’t know who I’m supposed to be as a blog If I can just be ‘me’ or if u want me 2 be ‘some1 else’
So many expectations Wish I could just escape become a chill cat with an owner who blows dank smoke in my face to ‘get me high’
It’s not easy being a blog. What is the future of HIPSTER RUNOFF? Is HIPSTER RUNOFF ‘going down the shitter’? Has HIPSTER RUNOFF ‘peaked’? What do u want to see more/less of on HIPSTER RUNOFF? Is the HRO commenting community ‘O.O.C.’? (out of control) Do u h8 Carles? Should Carles ‘pass on the torch’ to a new, exciting, aspiring young blogger? In the future, will humans stop reading HRO? In the future, will cats start reading HRO?
Katy Perry is one of the most influential modern slutwave artists of all time today, in a heated competition with other slutwave artists like Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and Ke$ha to have the strongest, sexiest personal brand. Many slutwave themes are about ‘boys’, ‘having fun’, and ‘getting drunk.’ Not exactly sure why Katy Perry was allowed on Sesame Street. Feel like they should have at least made her wear a ‘huge baggy t-shirt’ if she was going to speak to kids. Instead, her corset thingy seems to make sure people know that she has ‘huge breasts’, but at the same time, some sort of ‘optical illusion’ that tries to make her breasts look ‘smaller.’ Staring at the screen 2 try to figure it out.
<3 the song "Ur hot and I'm chill" though. Feel like that song is soo true [via commentary on modern relationships]. It's so weird how u can like some1 so much, and then they are like 'oh wait. don't like u. sorrie! gonna find some1 new.'
Kinda miss the days when Sesame was 'wholesome' and indie, back when Feist chilled on there. Wonder when she is going to churn out a new album to 'counterbalance' the slutwave. Worried she will get nipple pasties and try to ride it, though.
Worried about American family values. Seems like kids just want to be ‘entertained’ and they don’t really care about ‘learning’ any more. It seems way easier just to give a kid a laptop /xbox 360 instead of ‘actually having an interactive discussion/learning experiment.’
I honestly believe that Sesame Street was bad for education because it ‘opened the door’ for parents choosing to let the tv babysit their kids. Sorta like a ‘gateway drug’ or something. Wish we could just invent a ‘social network’ for kids that could replace both ‘parenting’ and our failed educational system. Is Katy Perry the #1 slutwave artist? Every time Sesame Street producers get some1 questionable to interact with the characters, are they basically ‘pooping’ on Jim Henson’s grave? Do yall like Katy Perry ‘because she has big breasts and big eyes’? R u worried abt Elmo, or does he seem like a ‘motorboating pimp’?
I’m not sure if the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are ‘relevant’ or not. They seem to be a female version of the Strokes/Kings of Leon/Feist or something. Not sure if they sell as many records, but they were all produced out of the same incubator [via post-9-11 NYC], back when humans could ‘empathize’ with u for being ‘from NYC’ instead of migrating to Brooklyn to become ‘Brooklyn-based buzzband.’ Think magazines were more important back then and people thought Williamsburg was in Virginia.
Anyways, checking out Karen O, the lead singer of the Yeah! Yah! Ya!’s named Karen O. She seems like a keut half AZN girl, but her stage presence is kinda weirding me out. U know the feeling of ‘getting 2 make love to a really hot person’, but then when u get in bed with them, they turn into this sexual deviant, and keep trying to ‘choke u out’/insist on ‘having anal’ with u.
Feel like her brand is a mix between Alice Glass (destructive), M.I.A. (wearing silly clothes), and Sasha Grey (just wants 2 cum/be abused + photographed).
Do u like her deep throating the microphone?
Seems like she is making it clear that she ‘spits’ [via doesn't swallow]
Scared of this mask. seems like it is some sort of Eyes Wide Shut ‘fuck mask’, or maybe a ‘cum shield’ or something.
Do u think female crotch grabs are ‘mad sexy’?
Seems like some sort of ‘residue’ on her head. Maybe it is just the way the light is shining on her.
After looking at these pix, feel ‘exhausted’, like I just had rough sex while watching a live indie concert. Like she made me ‘wear masks’, put a butt plug in my butt, and punch her in the face until she is bleeding + crying. Have u ever ‘peppermint pattied’ a girl? Which indie star would u ‘peppermint patty’/'dirty sanchez’? Do u feel scared of girls with weird sexual desires, or do they turn u on because u can abuse them in and out of the bedroom? R u turned on by Karen O? Is Karen O sexier/hotter/more talented than Best Coast? Should Karen O try harder to ride the slutwaves? Should she pose nude in some magazines to raise her profile? Do u feel creeped out by these photos or turned on?
U make me feel like I’m living a teen-age dream -Katy Perry
U also make me feel like I have a throbbing teenage peen
Miss being a teen back when all u did was visualize ‘big titties’ in ur face Before u even knew what a vagina looked/felt like and breasts were the ultimate sexual symbol
Wonder how the Hooters chain is so successful From what I understand, it is basically just like Chili’s except the waitresses are ‘hot pieces of ass’ instead of boring, frumpy community college students
Do u ‘get turned on’ by Hooters waitresses? Or do they just remind u of ‘gold digging sluts without an education’? I guess the gimmick is U feel ‘hornie’ when u eat instead of ‘sad’, like u r filling ur fat face before u get diabetes
Seems like a better experience to ‘lube up’ ur hands with ranch dressing buffalo sauce, and bbq rib excess then ‘go to town’ visualizing some ‘hot ass’ who just brought u a cold brewskie while u mix ur red/brown bbq sauce fingers with a ghost white layer of semen/cum
I guess that’s probably why old, balding, fat men eat there go there to ‘watch games’ wonder if it is a good place to ‘take a date’ or if they will get insecure + grossed out watching u eat fried food
Have u ever eaten at a Hooters? Do u think Hooters girls are sexie, or would u rather just go to a strip club and have a skank ‘grind on ur peen’? Or would u rather purchase a prostitute and have them ‘play with ur peen? Is Hooters an authentic chain restaurant experience? Should I just move to China and become a ‘sexually deviant’ Hooters manager? [via running a bath house in the kitchen]
Romain Gavras is the zany French director who directs violent videos for buzzbands. He did one for Justice a long time ago, but then his ‘ultimate meme’ was the video he directed for M.I.A. where a bunch of ginger human children were ‘slaughtered’ like cattle [via genocide].
It seems like he had some sort of ‘movie premiere’ and M.I.A. came out to support. U have to assume they have a deep hatred for gingers, and spent the majority of the night talking about how to ‘get rid of them 4evr’, along with recent escapades to murder gingers + dispose of their bodies.
Here is the trailer for the new “Gavras flick”, which u can see involves skin heads, titties, and violence. Seems like it is just the typical ‘deep French film’ formula. Not sure if it would resonate with me if I lived in France, though.
It seems like he included ‘more gingers’ in this movie or something. Not sure what his obsession is. If I had to guess, all of these gingers went on to board the bus, then it probably ‘blew up.’
Here is some other teaser that involves 2 girls jumping around with their titties bouncing.
Sorta wish I could be a buzzband, then pay this bro to make a violent video meme 4 me. Do u think they look cute 2gether? Are they 2 creative souls? Do u think M.I.A. should divorce her billionaire husband and get into a serious relaish with this bro?
Miss u ‘Born Free’. Honestly wish the Arcade Fire came up with a violent, bloggable meme so we’d have something to analyze instead of just boring Google Map technology videos / giving money away 2 Haiti.
Maybe we were 2 mean to M.I.A. Maybe we should have valued her not as a musician, but as a human who made memes for us 2 consume. I miss her loud mouth I miss her bold concepts I miss her zany outfits I miss her political rants Know that I said her ‘career was over’ after she failed to sell mad albums and she failed to write a ‘hit’ that was as approachable as “Paper Planes” and she failed to ‘win over’ music critics but maybe… just maybe… she will rise again
Do u still h8 gingers? Do u still h8 M.I.A.? Do u value MIA as a meme generator? Is MIA a ‘disgusting human being’? Do u think this French bro is a ‘legit director’ or does he just have a solid repertoire of artsy, stylistic gimmicks? Do u like any media that involves violence + sex? Do u like any film/video that involves red heads as metaphorical visual imagery?
Twin Shadow is one of the only ‘new buzzbands’ of 2k10 that is ‘actually worth buzzing abt’, according to many bloggers and music criticism sites. Even though WAVVES and Best Coast got ‘mad coverage’ this year for smoking tons of dank + being brand ambassadors for the state of California, authentic sites are looking to ‘distance their tastemaking brands’ from those artists, and support some1 ‘more legit’/some1 who takes their career more seriously. Basically, as a whole, the blogosphere is trying to ‘salvage’ the historical brand of 2k10, so we need a few innovative/well-produced projects to buzz as hard as possible before 2k10 ends.
In an ‘unprecedented turn of events’, Twin Shadow received another Best New Music from Pitchfork magazine, indicating that there is a ‘high chance’ that he will ‘beat’ the 8.4 mark set by WAVVES and Best Coast. Do u think “I Can’t Wait” is his strongest song?
Do u ‘buy in2′ the Twin Shadow hype, or is it ‘forced’?
Seems like the writeup was all about making it clear that ‘the dude from Grizzly Bear produced this album, take it srsly, it was a genuine collaboration that u should appreciate.’
In my recent Playlist write-up of the Brooklyn-based Twin Shadow’s “Slow”, I made mention of how Grizzly Bear multi-instrumentalist Chris Taylor’s steady studio hand contributes greatly to the song’s atmosphere. Taylor’s involvement is worth mentioning again when talking about “I Can’t Wait”, another standout from Twin Shadow’s forthcoming full-length Forget– but not because he’s merely improving TS main-man George Lewis Jr.’s songwriting. Rather, you get the sense that these two are working in tandem, abandoning a traditional producer-artist relationship for something more collaborative.
Just want to be a ‘Brooklyn-based’ buzzband to ‘liven up’ the intro of all of my ‘write-ups.’ Need to get some1 in a buzzband who is more ‘alt famous’ / ‘blog famous’ than me 2 produce my EP so I can get ‘mad headlines’ / add a ‘narrative’ to my buzzband’s existence.
Do u <3 Twin Shadbro? Will Twin Shadow be ‘the only harvestable buzzband of 2k10′? What other buzzbands got blog famous in 2k10? Did they deserve it? Will the Small Black ‘beat’ Wavves/BC/Twin Shad? Do u prefer buzzbands that just write 1 good mp3 instead of ‘putting together a complete album’? Who will be remembered as the most authentic/relevant band of 2k10?
Photos by thecobrasnake Hi Alice How r u? Saw u live again Ur up 2 the same old tricks
Honestly, all I can say is “Loves it” but at the same time, feeling mad worried R u okay on the inside? Is there something we need to talk about? I usually can’t understand what ur saying when u sing I like it, but I want to understand u
Plz ‘put the bottle down’, Alice Unidentified stains on ur tshirt U don’t need alcohol 2 escape U need something 2 change ur life 4evr
Ur surfing away on a crowd of hornie altbros trying 2 grope u tweens trying 2 feel u Photographers trying to turn u into an internet meme Sail away, Alice free urself from the pain I hope 1 day u make ur way 2 me
Maybe we can be… together
Ur turning in2 a ghost This is not a vintage photograph This is u fading away
Meet me in between the shadows Somewhere between buzzband 10.0 heaven and buzzband hell R u there Alice? It’s me, ur fan since 2k3
