Monday, September 13, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF


GRAPHIC VIDEO: Hipster Twinks brawl outside of relevant LA gay dive bar

Posted: 13 Sep 2010 03:51 PM PDT


In this video, some alternative seem to be ‘brawling’ over serious issues. Seems like a very intense fight over something they are passionate about. Maybe one of the bros is like ‘Gays shouldn’t be allowed 2 marry’, then 1 of the other gay bros is like ‘aw hell naw. We need 2 be able to marry.’ But then the other 1 is trying to explain how ‘marriage’ is bullshit, some sort of societal crap that only exists for religious/tax reasons.

Seems hard to be an alt homosexual. Vibes aren’t too chill.
Is there such thing a a ‘hipster twink’, or all all alts kind of twinks?
Have u ever got ‘super drunk’ and ended up taking a twink alt home, locking him in ur basement 4 a while?

Really dig the ‘independent journalism’ [via youtube vid] vibe. Sorta want to witness more brawls/meme-able events. Don’t really want to prevent them from happening, just want to make sure that they are captured for the rest of the internet 2 consume. Feel sad that the African American bouncer ‘intervened’ and regulated that shit.

Do these homo bros ‘fight like girls’?
Did u appreciate the play-by-play commentary?
Was this brawl ‘legit’ or did it need more weapons?
Can gay people ‘fight’, or do they just use girly fight tactics?
R u scared of these bros?
Do u ever want to brawl with some alt twinks and ‘kick their asses’?
Are twinks the most lovable type of gay person?
Do u think Harvey Milk would be pissed abt this gay-on-gay violence? [via Sean Penn]

The guy from Blink 182 tries 2 connect with alts, says he ‘loves Best Coast’

Posted: 13 Sep 2010 12:04 PM PDT


I remember 1 time, Mark Hoppus, 1 of the chill bro cool dads from Blink 182 tweeted that he ‘absolutely loved’ Animal Collective [link]. It seems like now he wrote something about how he ‘totally loves’ Best Coast, attempting to ‘uncover’ her.

So weird how indie buzzbands are getting so much mainstream acclaim. Kinda jeal/bitter. I feel like I was ‘the first person’ 2 get into these bands, so now that they are going mnstrm, just really bitter. Wish ‘tastemakers’ got more credit/had equity in these buzzbands.

Damn. Just want to learn more about how Mark Hopbro found out about the Best Coasts.

WHERE HOPP HEARD THEM FIRST:
“One of the writers-producers on A Different Spin actually suggested that I check out Best Coast. He’s way into the indie rock scene, has good taste, and has never steered me wrong, so I bought the album before hearing any of the music. Glad I did.”

Wish I had a few bros who were ‘way in2 the indie rock scene.’ Need some good buzzband recs in my life [via Pandora /Ping]

What does Best Coast sound like? What does she sing abt?

WHY THEY ROCK:
“Surfy-type guitar-driven songs fronted by a female singer. Lo-fi. Lots of reverb. Lots of songs about broken hearts, falling in and out of love, and unrequited affections. To give you some perspective, when listening to their new album in my car, a friend turned to me and said, ‘Wow, she really needs to find a boyfriend!!’” [Editor's note: She found one: Wavves frontman Nathan Williams]

Wish I had an editor who was aware of buzzband relationships.
Wonder if Hoppus has a sweet car with a ‘killer’ soundsystem.

Mark Hoppbro then ‘calls out’ Best Coast 4 having crappy grammar. Seems like an ‘attack’ on her song writing skills to make sure she ‘knows her place.’

HOPP’S TOP TRACK:
“‘Boyfriend.’ It’s all in the hook, which is simply: ‘I wish he was my boyfriend.’ Side note: Technically, the line should be ‘I wish he WERE my boyfriend.’ It’s called the subjunctive, people!!!”

Would Best Coast be a more successful artist if she got all better at grammar and wrote better songs abt life/boys/dank?
Is this the exposure that Best Coast needs to hit up the Warped tour circuit?
In the future, will all fuzzy buzzy artists end up on Warped Tour?
Will Mark Hoppus steal Best Coast from Wavves?
Would u rather date Mark Hoppus cuz he is rich, or stay loyal 2 ur dankwave boyfriend?
Will Blink 182′s next album be a chillwave /beach wave / lofi / fuzzy buzzy concept album?
Do yall think Blink 182 is ‘way better’ than Best Coast?
Should Blink 182 hire Best Coast’s drummer 2 replace Travis Barker?
Should Bethany ‘collab’ with Tom Delonge on a futuristic Angels and Airwaves song?

The MTV VMAs are an opportunity to celebrate macro-fame, human memes, & social media

Posted: 13 Sep 2010 11:28 AM PDT


Can’t believe it has been a year since Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift and created some sweet internet memes + inspired Carles to write some over-thought puff piece abt the memefication process of humans + events [link]. Honestly can’t see my life changing much for the next 20 years. Always gonna sit on a computer, will watch TV, will react to what I am seeing on TV, entertaining my audience of followers who ‘value my opinion.’

Worried that time is gonna pass me by, and I won’t ‘grow up’ and I’ll just be a worthless 20something forever.

Don’t want to think abt that. Just gonna watch the VMAs. H8 society. Just want to consume ‘pop culture’ and form my unique opinion on it. Want people to know that I ‘get’ pop culture, and even though I consume it on a daily basis, my perspective on it transcends all.

Feel like is really ‘in her element’ at the VMAs, since will basically do whatever she wants to ‘create a meme.’

Wore tons of zany meme outfits

She brought a few recently-discharged members of the American Armed Forces to ‘make herself seem like a good person.’

Wonder if Katy Perry should have brought some World War 2/Vietnam veterans and/or Holocaust survivors. Think old jewish people might be a haute fashion accessory in 2k12.

Here is another bro who looks like he just won a few medals from serving in Iraq/Afghanistan

I heard that she ‘scissored’ with Ellen Degeneres just to get blog coverage / appeal to the gay + lesbian markets

Here is ‘sharing a smart snack’ with rapper Drake

Drinking out of a zany starbucks cup

Wonder which of these artists is ‘more innovative’? Wonder which 1 rode the slutwave harder.

Is there a time where u need to ‘retire’ getting whored up and wearing stupid, slutty costumes? I can’t imagine being 60 years old and having to worry about ‘shaving the grey hairs off my pussie region.’

Justin Bieber really earned his trophy. Proud of him.

really proved he is a ‘real musician’ [via musicianship]

Wonder if Justin Bieber is ‘tall’ or if Usher is ‘tiny.’ Wonder who has a longer, thicker peen.

The VMAs apparently hired Deadmau5 to be the ‘house DJ’ during commercial breaks. This was probably 1 of the ‘greatest moments’ in non-Daft Punk masked DJ history.

looks like the only alt band that attended was Jared Leto’s band “30 Seconds 2 Mars–Are we there yet?? Wish we had a faster space ship, yall” Wish I could join their band and get an alt makeover.

<3 Jared <3

Think he won an award and ‘thought it was a real award that represented artistic success.’ Worried that he is living in a warped version of reality where he is ‘God’ or something.

Heard all non- slutwave artists held some sort of ‘Conclave’/Strategy Session to try to out-slut and get more famous/win more awards/sell more albums.

Think they just decided to try to make a Justin Bieber sex tape

Wish Hayley Williams tweeted out more titty pix. Think she needs to dedicate herself to the slutwave

John Travolta looked good

Feel like Katy Perry shoulda just shown up ‘naked’ instead of this nude/skin colored gimmick

Wish Taylor Swift had joined the slutwave. Instead she just sang songs about how she wanted boys 2 authentically love her. She really needs to ‘spread those legs’ 4 American consumers, but I guess she is a pretty solid Walmartcore artist.

Apparently some lady named “Chelsea Handler” hosted, but she tanked. Sorta just proves that women just aren’t funny, and even women prefer to laugh at/with men.

Wonder if Justin Timberlake is morphing in2 a lesbian

Another human meme Kanye West tried 2 figure out how 2 play the synth

‘I am an artist. This is not rap. I have mother fucking ballet bitches dancing behind me. This shit is beautiful.’

‘I am an artist. I am overcoming. I am brilliant. I understand human pain.’

Tons of famous ppl showed up.

Academy Award Winner Jamie Foxx

Keanu Reeves


Richie Valens did a piano cover of ‘La Bamba’

Jennifer Hudson got her blipster on

The ‘bad guy’ from Eastbound & Down

Cee-Lo, lead singer of Charles Barkleys

The guy from DeGrassi

Cedric the Entertainer

Justin Timberlake

Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman

Jay-Z / Master P

Good 2 see Chris Brown got his career back on track after beating women

Hillary Rodham Clinton

Barry Obama’s half-white son “Jeff Obama”

A cast member from The Real World: Housewives of New Jersey

Fat Albert

Mad Men’s Jon Hamm

Samuel L Jackson

Brett Favre

Beyonce + Nick Jonas

Famous Producer Scott Storch

A kid from a JC Penney’s catalog

My 38 year old cousin who is manager of Hot Topic / Black Fly

Lil Bow Wow + Hologram Lil Bow Wow

The evil President of Iran’s son “Jeff Ahmadinejad”

Carmelo Anthony/LeBron James

Footballer Wayne Rooney

Wonder if Jackass needs to re-franchise and cast new members. Maybe like a ‘Menudo’ model where ur kicked out when u get too old. Feeling like they are ‘too Gen X’ or something.

Feel kinda bad for tween sensations. They will never get to go to/legitimately participate in a ‘real awards shows’ like the Oscars, so they sorta have to treat award shows like it is ‘their Super Bowl.’

Is the iCarly broad ‘hot’ or does she need implants?

Wonder if these ‘lil ass holes’ are gonna grow up to be ‘big ass holes’. H8 when tweens wear ‘urban wear’.

This dude used to date Katy Perry before she ‘started 2 focus on her career.’ Think she made the right decision by dating Russell Brand since it allowed her 2 move into British Markets

Unsure abt Robyn’s career arc. Sorta wish she just ‘gave up’ after her success in the late 90s. Not sure why she gets p4k coverage and ppl ‘cream’ about her ‘amazing pop songs.’ U have to be ‘super hot’/have big tits to write good pop songs.

Here is former porn star Jenna Jameson. Sorta wish she was still a porn star / did tons of blow. Worried abt her figure.

I think this is the dude who ‘bangs’ her in real life [via marriage]. Wonder how he deals with so many cocks being in that pussie. Feel like I would have tons of ‘insecurity issues’/would be difficult for her ‘black hole’ vagina to squeeze my erect penis.

Feel like modern blipsters are ‘very blatant’ abt only existing as some sort of ‘walking catalog’/product placement specialist for ‘urban wear that looks kewl.’

This girl apparently won some contest to be ’s TJ “Twitter Jockey”. I wonder if that will help her career, or if this is basically ‘the prime of her life’, and she will end up working at State Farm insurance. Hope I can get a job tweeting for a Fortune 500 company 1 day.

Maybe they should have hired former VJ ‘Kennedy’ to be TJ, but I guess they are totally different jobs. H8 our evolving world. Worried my skillsets won’t be valuable 1 day.

Is Dane Cook ‘still relevant’ or is Tosh O / Aziz Ansari ‘cooler’ 2 be in2?

Glad the network featured their signature show ‘The Bros of the Jersey Shore.’ Glad they ‘replaced’ The Hills

Here is ‘Snooki’ who is widely known as ‘the new Jennifer Aniston’. Before she was famous, she did ‘donkey shows’ in Mexico.

Feel bad for the non ‘Big Four’ members of the Jersey Shore. Worried abt the crappy cast members ‘not carrying their weight’/dragging the show down.

Feel like maybe should invite Audrina to the show. Could use her ‘big titties’ 2 liven things up + create more culture clash/drama.

Not sure if this tween is famous, or just a tween who shops at any mall in America

Seems like the guy from Linkin Park still has ‘tons of teen angst’/h8s society. Wish he could just enjoy being rich, and banging ‘tons of skanks’

Wonder if Best Coast is ‘pissed’ that Kid Cudi didn’t invite her.

Not sure who this is, but I think they just let a crazy woman wander on stage and flop around. Pretended she is an ‘artist.’

Just want to be in a famous alt rock band that has a female singer, and be a ‘forgettable bro’ wearing miscellaneous alt gear.

Might just build a time machine, travel 2 the future, dye my robot skin black.

Still confused abt Will.I.Am’s conceptual costume.

So weird how black people come in various shades of ‘black’, but that is the blackest black bro I have ever seen.

Did yall watch the VMAs?
Were they ‘entertaining’?
Did anything ‘controversial’ happen?
Should they stop with the awards show, and just make it a ‘talent show’ or something where every1 gets 1 minute to ‘make an ass out of themselves’?
Do u wish more ‘crazy stuff’ happened so we could meme about it on the internet?
Does Pitchfork need to create an Indie VMAs so that the indiesphere can have its own alt memes to talk about?
Are the VMA’s ‘real awards’ or just ‘bullshit’?
Do u <3 MTV?
Was there not enough ‘indie shit’ at this awards show?
Do u feel like every year feels the same because of the internet?
Is our culture ‘evolving’ or ‘devolving’?
Who is ur fave human meme: Kanye, JBieb, or Mad Men’s Jon Hamm?
Should Justin Bieber turn his skin black [via Will.I.Am]?

Chillwave hipster politician gets young people ‘jacked up’ about voting 4 him

Posted: 13 Sep 2010 08:33 AM PDT


I remember when I voted 4 Obama
He promised me so many great things
Free Macbooks
Free money
Free college
Free debt
Jobs where u just get to chill on the internet all day and waste time

But that didn’t pan out.
He really let me down
Feel ‘disenfranchised’ abt the political process
Like all politicians are liars

Wish they understood me as a 20 something
Helped to ‘fire me up’
‘get me off my ass’ [via my angry dad]
and tell me to do something with my life

So many politicians try to brand ‘change’ as something organic/chill/hopeful
The truth is–change doesn’t come easily, or naturally
and u need some1 with multiple master’s degrees to bring about that change
U want some1 to inspire u

Want some1 who ‘gets’ me
Some1 who uses his hands to communicate, not just his mouth [via yelling]
Want some1 who is there 4 me thru the good times + bad times
Want some1 who quotes Albie Einstein

Feel like Phil Davison really speaks to me
Going to move to Minerva Ohio and ride chillwaves with him
Maybe make sure that bars stay open until 6 am or something
We can really make change happen.

R u going to vote for Phil Davison?
Does he seem like a chill bro?
Did Obama ‘let u down’?
Do u hope Phil Davison rides ‘going viral’ into becoming the next Sarah Palin?
R u a Republican because Obama let u down?
Is Obama gonna be ‘booted’ from the White House?
Do u wish ur angry unchill dad ran for local office and ‘went viral’?
Is this bro chill or unchill?

Will.I.Am wears futuristic blackface costume, pisses off Afro-American Community

Posted: 13 Sep 2010 07:18 AM PDT


From what I understand about American History, African Americans weren’t allowed to be ‘famous performers’, so white people would just put black makeup on their face, and pretend to be black ppl. They would basically ‘mock’ black humans, resulting in a ‘hella racist’ display. It seems like at the VMAs, a pretend awards show/meme generating event, Will.I.Am wore a ‘ costume’ even though he is already black.

Sorta weird how African American artists are more successful than white artists [via hip hop music]. Still confused by Mikey Jax going all ‘white face’ before committing suicide, but still seems like Will.I.Am is ‘mad controversial’ [via already being black]. Do u think he ‘understands what he is doing’, or is he ‘just trying to look cool.’

Feeling kinda confused. Maybe some sort of ‘self-aware’ commentary on how he is a black performer, and he is ‘in black face’ according to white people. Maybe he just got off some sort of ‘time machine’

Wonder if Will.I.Am is ‘the ultimate blipster.’

Think he is probably just from the future or something. Seems to have brought back a futuristic black woman who is ‘trying to ride the slutwave of the future.’

R u pissed at Will.I.Am?
Is what he did ‘unchill’?
Do u think he is a ‘pure artist’ and h8rs just don’t ‘get’ him?
Does this mean ‘’ will be a chill Halloween costume?
Should the African American community ‘banish’ him from their clan, and make him wear white face?
Will ban African American artists and force Justin Bieber to wear a costume?
In the future, will all ‘black people’ merge with robots, and have post-black skin?
Will Will.I.Am ever top his hologram appearance during Obama’s election?

Should Obama wear post- to win the 2012 election?

Lamestreamers on Facebook talk about new buzzband Pashy Pit, recommend ‘checking out’ Washed Out

Posted: 12 Sep 2010 08:01 PM PDT


Was recently ‘refreshing my minifeed wall’ on Facebook, and saw two bros talking about buzzbands. Facebook really has emerged as ‘the ultimate organic hype machine’, a place where people share, find, discuss, and stream new music. Really pumped to connect with bros, talk about music, share new buzzbands + MP3s. Wonder if PING is gonna make facebook wall-2-walls about buzzbands ‘totally irrelevant.’

Anyways, it seems like 2 alts were talking about Pashy Pit, and then some bro had to ‘intervene’ and let him know Pash Pit is mad entry level.

First, a bro is like ‘aww hell yea! Loves the Pash Pit.’ He invites every1 to let him know that he is awesome because he loves .

His best altbro comes in and is like “Dude.  that band is entry level, u gotta ride chillwaves with Washed out. Really ashamed 2 know u right now. Might unfriend ur ass.”

Then the Pashy pit alt is kinda embarrassed, and is like, “u sure they are as good as ? Plz don’t unfriend me.”

Washed Bro is like, “They are damn effing good. U gotta drop that Pash Pit shit, brah. They aren’t even real indie artists–they just exist to score commercials with quirky music.”

It seems like the alt is kinda embarrassed, and is just like, “Okay, I’ll check them out.  Sorry. TTYL I guess.  Bye”

Kinda seems fun that an altbro cared enough about his bro to make sure that he evolved beyond the entry level sounds of . Feel like maybe ‘true bro-hood’ is all about making sure ur bros are as relevant as u. Would be ashamed of my bros if they ‘publicly tweeted’ their allegiance/fandom abt a crappy buzzband.

Did yall ever have to have a ‘chillwave intervention’ with ur bros?
Did u ever have to teach ur bros that the Arcade Fire was ‘entry level 2k5 shit’?
Have u ever had to let ur bros know that their ‘taste in music sux’?
Do u feel like u have ‘the best taste’ in ur group of friends?
How do u find out about new music: Blogs, websites, or by ‘lurking’ wall 2 wall convos?
Do u h8 entrylevelers who ‘brag’ about the ‘kewl indie music they listen 2′ on facebook?