Tuesday, September 7, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

The XX wins some huge Euro prize. Band stops eyeball fucking u, has shit-eating grins.

Posted: 07 Sep 2010 04:06 PM PDT

Link: http://www.cbc.ca/arts/music/story/2010/09/07/mercury-prize-2010.html


I remember when I went to see the XX live, they were eyeball fucking me hard [link]. Was definitely sorta confused and hornie, but wondered if the XX could ever make a face that wasn’t dark/eyeballfuckish. It seems like they won some huge prize in European music called ‘the Mercury Prize.’ I am not sure if it is a ‘real award’ or just some sort of outdated fake award that just provides a headline once a year.

Just happy that it made them smile. Always worried that the XX are ‘depressed.’ So proud of them. Wish they had stayed true to their gothwave brand and worn black mock turtle necks like they usually do.

Is the Mercury Prize ‘legit’ or is it just a crappy regional award? Did the XX ‘deserve it’, or was chillwave shafted? Did the XX even come out in 2k10 or what?

The XX won the U.K.’s Mercury Prize on Tuesday night for the rock group’s self-titled debut album.

The XX had been favoured to win the honour, which goes to an album based on musical quality, with no consideration for album sales. Its Canadian equivalent is the Polaris Music Prize.

The indie trio from London’s Notting Hill area was acclaimed for the emotionally resonant, modern album XX, often described as “minimalist.” The band members, all in their early 20s, are guitarist-singer Romy Madley Croft, bassist Oliver Sim and Jamie Smith, who provides electronic beats.

Seems like they won $30K

The south London band won the $30,000 prize over 11 other shortlisted acts at a ceremony in London Tuesday.

Should they buy a Chrysler Seabring convertible to take on tour with them? Maybe paint it black and call it The XX mobile?

What would ur buzzband do with $30K? Buy new gear? Go on vacay? Start a record label? Buy some drugs + prostitutes?

Love that smile, Romy! U earned it, girl!

“We’ve had the most incredible year. Every day we’ve woken up to something incredible we weren’t expecting,” Croft said after the win.

A Mercury Prize win usually leads to steep climb in album sales, as well as recognition.

Are yall jealous of the XX for being so young, yet achieving ‘global success’?
Is the XX gonna sell ‘mad albums’ for the rest of their lives’?
Can the XX top their debut album, or will it just sound the same in a boring way?
Did u ever like the XX?
Do u think the ethnic girl who ‘quit’ the XX/was kicked out is ‘rolling around in her grave’/lamenting her decision to quit the buzzband to focus on capitalizing on the barista industry bubble?

Just feels good to see the XX smile. Sometimes u forget that buzzbands are real people–u get used to them as brands. Happy to see them happy.

So weird how a lil mp3 can go such a long way.
Will the XX be ‘bigger than Radiohead’ in 10-20 years?
Are American bands better than UK bands?
Is the UK music scene ‘bullshit’?
Is euro a ‘weirdo’ consumer market?
Should we boycott the XX in the USA?
Does the XX deserve critical acclaim?
IS the Mercury Prize ‘real’ or is it only staying afloat because it is sponsored by Barclays?

Panda Bear confirms his album TOMBOY will be delayed eternally, slams FYF Fest organizers

Posted: 07 Sep 2010 01:15 PM PDT

Link: http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2010/09/an_interview_w_44.html


’s TOMBOY is one of the most anticipated albums of 2k10…but unfortunately, it might never come out, and just leave us with a ‘gaping hole’ representing what 2k10 never was…TOMBOY spoke [EXCLUSIVELY] to Brooklyn Vegan in a TELL-ALL-INTERVIEW, breathing fire, talking mad shit, and ‘getting real.’

is confused when the blog reminds him that his album should be coming out soon. He then has to say, ‘uhh… just gonna release singles as I make them.’ Not sure how chill I am with this.

BV: Speaking of new records, don’t you have one coming out this Fall?

Noah: Mine?

BV: Yeah

Noah: No, I mean singles will be coming up periodically but I probably only recorded about half the songs at this point. As soon as I record them I give them to the people to put them out usually it’s like a month or two turnaround I would say. So I don’t know, I can’t give a specific date.

I was shooting for like around a September release date and I was probably talking to people about that. Then I feel like it kinda of become a rumor or something. And once I felt like everybody was expecting it, I thought I should really try to stick to that, but it took too long. I don’t think I’m gonna meet that September deadline now.

Do u feel bad for ‘peer pressuring’ in2 thinking he had to release an album by September? Did P4k/mp3 blogs bully his creative process?

Seems like maybe all artists should just ‘give up on albums’ and release singles whenever.

BV: Kinda like how you did for Person Pitch, you are just going to release a series of singles and 12″?

Noah: Yeah, exactly. I think the second one is coming out in October but I think they sold out of it so they’ll release it early or something. The third one is almost done so I would expect that in another 2 months or so.

Panda then confirms that he goes ‘slow as hell’. Wonder if AnCo ever gets mad at him 4 being all slow:

BV: When did you start working on the Tomboy stuff?

Noah: I started writing the songs, in earnest I would say, this time last year.

BV: Wow, that’s quicker than some of your other records.

Noah: I tend to go pretty slow.

Wish he knew how fast the indiebuzzosphere worked. Feel like tons of altbros + critics will ‘hold this shit against him’, and he will probably get like a 6.3 via p4k. Feel like maybe he should just ‘give up’ on TOMBOY and use his best songs on the next AnCo album so that the buzzosphere ‘forgives him’ 4 the TOMBOY disaster.


In addition, confirms that Animal Collective will ‘stay together’, build a family compound in America, and have all of their kids around while they record their next album:

BV: Speaking of Animal Collective, was touring off the last record the most you have ever done as a band?

Noah: I think that was the longest period of touring for any group of songs we did. Yeah, probably 3 1/2 years…

BV: With so much going on in your personal lives with making records and having kids, was that a huge challenge to get through that amount of intense touring?

Noah: It wasn’t always easy but I think all of us were really especially excited about those set of songs so we felt good going the extra distance with it.

BV: With everything going on individually and the band taking a break from touring does the band have any plans for a follow up or anything for the next year or so?

Noah: Yeah, we started talking about it a little bit. One of the ideas is to maybe try and write something all in the same location for the first time in 7 years. We haven’t had any conversations as to what it might sound like or even what we are gonna play, no conversations about the style or anything like that. I think we definitely all want to do it in the same place for once.

BV: Where do you want to do it?

Noah: Definitely somewhere in the states. Logistically speaking with the kids and stuff I think it’s probably smart to have our families around and stuff.

In addition, took some time to confirm that FYF Fest in Los Angeles was a ‘disaster of a festival’ that was poorly organized. They even ran out of food + water.

BV: How was L.A.?

Noah: Ahhh, It was alright….The festival that we played I had some problems and I played really bad. But then the next day in Pomona I thought the show was really good. So it was kinda of sweet and sour experience I would say.

BV: Was it technical difficulties or just a big festival mess?

Noah: It was that and they ran out water and they ran out of food and everybody just seemed like pissed. So it didn’t feel very good most of the day and then I had this like crazy, monster feedback and it just sort of sucked.

Did u go 2 FYF Fest? Was it a ‘poorly run shit hole’? Did the ‘sound’ sound shitty?
Did the portapotties overflow, and were festival goers forced to drink poopoo and peepee water?

READ FULL INTERVIEW AT BROOKLYN VEGAN

R u worried about TOMBOY?
Will TOMBOY ever come out?
Did Panda let u down?

Do u think Avey Tare is ‘pumped’ that Noah is ‘failing’?
Is 2k10 a shit fest?
Do u wish MGMT/MIA’s albums were delayed indefinitely?
Does TOMBOY’s failure to launch put ‘the final nail in the coffin’ of 2k10?

Craiglist ‘cock blocks’ hard, won’t let u buy & sell local prostitutes n e more

Posted: 07 Sep 2010 10:02 AM PDT

Link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39005873/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/
Link: http://gizmodo.com/5630512/censored-bar-greets-adult-services-searchers-at-craigslist


has always been a chill, organic social network that ‘phased out’ the local classifieds and has helped to put the ‘newspaper business’ out of business. Craig Bro has always been a chill bro in my book, making a sweet list in relevant cities 4 every1 2 chill on. I have purchased a lot of sweet stuff on . An authentic fixed gear bicycle, a used IKEA sofa for $50, some concert tickets to the sold out Sufjy show, and even found my current apartment on . My coffee shop barista+pizza-making job was also posted on by our chain’s regional manager, hoping to find people like me who were young, progressive, and willing to learn how to make both coffee and pizza dough. Sometimes I even post missed connections about people who ‘gave me a hard-on while I was riding the subway home’, projecting my hopes and dreams on to this alt-looking keut girl/alt twink.

Most importantly, I purchased my first ‘hooker’ off . It really is a great place to meet new people, and ‘have ur way with them.’ I met a user who was named “Samantha – 23 all natural big titties.’ She was located in a Ramada Inn close to the airport. I went to her room, and she was a little bit uglier than she looked in the pictures, but I was still super hornie, and got ‘turned on’ because I was doing something illegal. I had very aggressive sex with her, and said hateful, and potentially racists things 2 her. It was actually a positive experience, because I accepted that I was a ‘homosexual’ afterwards, and was only dominating women to deal with my

What is ur craiglists prostitution experience? Did they come 2 ur house, or did u meet them at a hotel? Was it weird to go into their pussie/mouth/butt hole after some1 else had been in it hours before?

Anyways, totally bummed that took down the “Adult Services” section of their website because too many people were getting killed/ teen girls were being kidnapped and forced in2 sex:

closed the adult services section of its website Saturday, replacing it with a black bar that says “censored,” just over a week after a group of state attorneys general said there weren’t enough protections against blocking potentially illegal ads promoting prostitution.

Really bummed that I can’t even browse . Sometimes I wouldn’t even buy a prostitute, but I would just look at heavy, ethnic women with stretch marks and ‘jack off’ while fantasizing about having sex with them in La Quinta Inns.

Do yall think is dangerous for whores/humans/buyers/sellers? Have yall ever purchased illegal goods off ? Should I steal stereos/cars and sell them on ? Should I hold a prostitute against her will, and make her sell her body on ?

In an Aug. 24 letter, the state attorneys general said should remove the section because it couldn’t adequately block potentially illegal ads promoting prostitution and child trafficking.

Authorities point to the case of 24-year-old Philip Markoff as a prime example of the dangers posed by services. The former medical student was accused of killing a masseuse he met through the hugely popular classified advertising site, which was founded by Craig Newmark. Markoff committed suicide in the Boston jail where he was awaiting trial.

Googled for the ‘Craiglist killer’, and found this bro. He seems normal-looking, like any other bro just ‘trying to get off.’

Wonder what happened when he killed his masseuse. Seems like an unchill thing 2 do.

Should the internet be used as a marketplace, or just for social issues?
CAn u really trust people on the internet?
What have u purchased off ?
Have u ever purchased a prostitute?
Have u ever purchased a prostitute off the internet?
Do u meet people on ?
Have u been on a date with a craiglister?
Have u ever posted a missed connection?
Do u know any better solutions 4 eCommerce than ?
Do yall ever wish ur face ended up on the local news 4 being part of a prostitution ring?

Would u rather be a ‘black pimp’ or a ‘drugged out white whore’?
Do u know of any other good sites where u can buy a prostitute from the internet?
Do u think is a useful tool, or is it a bad idea to get involved with any1 from ?

Ariel Pink wears a man purse on stage at relevant music festival

Posted: 07 Sep 2010 06:53 AM PDT

Photos by Beatcrave http://beatcrave.com/2010-09-06/fyf-fest-2010-photo-gallery/


is a relevant indie lofi musician who is ‘trying to go more indie mainstream’ in 2k10. Basically he used to be some dude who made bloggable lofi MP3s while sitting alone in his room, but now he is trying to ‘monetize’ / ‘tour’ / sell mad albums. Many authentic lofiwave/Ariel fans say that he has gone ‘too mainstream’, and think he is sacrificing his aesthetic, but it seems like based on this picture, he is still the same old Ariel. Just chillin out in a zany shirt, wearing some sort of ‘man purse’, trying to ride the metrosexual wave, maybe.

Does n e 1 know what the difference between a ‘bowling ball bag’, a man purse, a satchel, a messenger bag, a recyclable grocery bag, and a ‘laptop carrier’ is? Just s

What do u think Ariel bro has in his bag?
a) drugs
b) alcohol
c) lo-fi recording equipment
d) an iPad
e) a collection of zany, vintage shirts
f) Wheat Thins
g) Cheez-Nip-Itz Goldfish
h) oreos
i) stolen stereo equipment
j) something important that he doesn’t want n e 1 to steal backstage
k) Choose ur own response/conspiracy theory

Have u ever seen a musician ‘guard their possessions’ during ‘their set’?
What is Ariel up 2? Is he hiding something from us?
Wish he’d just chill and know that we are chill, and just learn 2 trust.

Does Ariel look cute?

Do u think has a cell phone/iPad?
Does Ariel bro look ‘better than ever’?
Will “Before Today” be considered 1 of the best albums of 2k10, or are u tired of it?
Should go ‘hi-fi’ on his next album?
Should more indie musicians start wearing over-the-shoulder bags on stage?
Should I get a kewl messenger bag and put a bunch of buttons + patches on it to let know I am ‘fucking serious’ abt ‘carrying shit’ in a meaningful way that integrates perfectly with my personal brand?

“EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT PREMIERE”: Tao Lin’s new hit book “Richard Yates”

Posted: 07 Sep 2010 05:59 AM PDT


Tao Lin is an author and alt famous human internet being. His new book “drops” in stores 2day. This book might “make or break” his career.

Not sure what is about, but seems to involve tween actors getting their gChat on.

XXXCLUSIVE EXCERPT
HIPSTER ALT REPORT RUNOFF EXCLUSIVE
WORLD PREMIERE MP3 TEXT MUSIC VIDEO PDF

by TAO LIN

"Kailey just called and asked me to hang out with her," said Dakota Fanning on Gmail chat. "I said I can't leave my house because I don't want to put on pants anymore and she got angry and went away."

"Good," said Haley Joel Osment. "When are you coming."

"I don't know. It might not be until July when I can come."

"Okay," said Haley Joel Osment. "July is in like 4 days."

"No, I mean like around my birthday because then I can convince her to let me go for my birthday. I really want to see you in New York. I should try to come this week. I can't lie anymore. I have to try to convince my mom."

"Ask her. Tell her she puts stress on herself by trying to control you instead of giving you freedom which is what America is about, freedom."

"I laughed and drooled a little," said Dakota Fanning.

"Tell her American and Canadian soldiers are fighting for your freedom and she is taking that God-given right away from you. Does she believe in God?" A few weeks ago Haley Joel Osment searched Dakota Fanning's mother's name on the internet and found a comment she had made on a message board thanking American and Canadian troops for fighting terrorism. He had showed Dakota Fanning who had said "What is this shit, I didn't know about this."

"Yes, she does," said Dakota Fanning. "I want to go to New York Friday. Do you think Ana would do anything Friday? It will be easier to convince her if I say we're meeting Ana."

"Yes," said Haley Joel Osment. "She will."

"She seemed okay with Ana," said Dakota Fanning. "I keep staring at ' face on the back of The Easter Parade but not having any reaction to it. Just looking." Haley Joel Osment said "Party girl" which was a term they had for people who did not speak in a quiet monotone and were not severely detached. Inanimate objects and situations and animals and boys could also be party girls. Dakota Fanning said if they wrote a book about a party girl called Party Girl they would be rich. "I just searched it on Amazon and there's like 4 books and 3 movies called Party Girl," she said. "Party Babe would make us the most rich probably."

Haley Joel Osment said "Slut Babe."

"Slut Party," said Dakota Fanning.

"Slut Party is good," said Haley Joel Osment. "Just bring a tape recorder and hang out with anyone then transcribe."

"When I come to New York we should just go to bars and record drunken sluts," said Dakota Fanning.

"A fly keeps flying by me, I feel dirty," said Haley Joel Osment. "It just landed on my crotch and walked around."

"It wants to have sex with you," said Dakota Fanning.

"Your mom ate crab fried with cheese. She is fucked."

"I know," said Dakota Fanning. "She is very fucked."

Haley Joel Osment typed "freedom" in all capital letters with nineteen exclamation marks after it. "Scream that at your mom sometimes," he said. "Am I coming Thursday?"

"I don't know, are you? Maybe I can convince her to let you come Thursday then stay the night and go back with me on the train Friday so I'm not riding there alone." Dakota Fanning said the neighbor's child was crying. "It begs for ice cream every day and then its parents beat it on the porch and then it rides a bike around and screams and cries. It's happened 4 times." Haley Joel Osment said that reminded him of Lemming. He said he wanted to watch movies with Dakota Fanning. "I just want to walk around with you at night and sometimes ass and crotch rape you," he said.

"Okay. We can do that."

"When," said Haley Joel Osment.

"I don't know. Soon. I will talk to fried Nicholas Sparks cheese beast."

"That is good," said Haley Joel Osment. "Cheese beast."

"I kept looking at 'cheese beast' and ignoring the rest."

"Me too," said Haley Joel Osment.

"Let's refer to her as cheese beast now," said Dakota Fanning. "Like tape man or headbutt girl."

"Sometimes we can call other people cheese beast too," said Haley Joel Osment.

Dakota Fanning said the name of a person and said the person was a cheese beast.

"Cheese beast is good," said Haley Joel Osment.

"Cheese beasts like anything in nugget form. Nuggets is a scary word. My brother has a bottle of ear piercing cleaner in his bathroom. I'm confused."

"He pierced his groin," said Haley Joel Osment.

"Probably," said Dakota Fanning.

They drew cheese beasts using Microsoft Paint and sent them to each other. "They are both just blobs without limbs," said Dakota Fanning. "I'm laughing. Cheese beast. Fuck my mom's home." She went offline. "My mom is home early because she's afraid of a flood warning in the area," she said a few minutes later.

"Tell her I majored in flood management at NYU and can protect her Thursday."

"She just went to look at the river," said Dakota Fanning. "She took Aladdin and a big flashlight with her. A very big railroad flashlight. I went down to the basement and saw my cat sleeping in a box on the washing machine. She's always in the basement."

"Your cat is good," said Haley Joel Osment.

"It's a small Gatorade tray. It looks silly. I laughed at her. She stared at me and then licked herself. I hope it floods. I'm bored here. Last time it flooded we parked on the side of the highway and stared for like two hours. It was good."

Does this book seem like it is ‘the next great American novel’?

Buy
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1935554158

Official Website + More ‘Press’
http://richardyates.info/

Do yall buy in2 Tao Lin as an author/human?
Will this book ‘perform’ better than “Shoplifting from American Apparel”? [link]
Does this book seem ‘brilliant’ or like ‘pure garbage’?
Will Haley Joel Osment make love 2 Dakota Fanning?
Does n e 1 know who is?
Who is ur favourite living modern author?
Are ‘books’ still relevant, or do u prefer blogs?
What do u think will happen 2 Tao Lin’s career?

Will Tao Lin die alone?

Shannon Gaga rides slutwave, stars as a ‘hot piece of ass’ in a rap video abt heavy girls

Posted: 06 Sep 2010 07:27 PM PDT


Shannon Gaga is a famous human who is getting tons of love from the internet as she becomes more famous than Lady Gaga [link]. It seems like some1 hired her to be featured as ‘a hot piece of ass’ in a rap music video. From what I understand, rap songs are more successful when you have a ‘hot ass bitch’ fucking herself on the camera, shaking her tits, poppin her ass, and pretending that she is ‘taking a big hard cock’ up her pussie.

Needless to say, Shannon Gaga does an amazing job in this video, eaitng, rolling around in syrup, and being her sexy ass self.

R u hornie?
R u turned on?

Will Shannon Gaga be featured in mainstream rap videos?
Should Kanye West hire Shannon Gaga?
How much would u pay Shannon Gaga for some sort of ‘bang bus episode’/snuff film?
Do yall like skinny girls, or 300 lb girls?
Is Shannon Gaga gonna be an important member of the genre?