Lady Gaga was seen riding metaphorical slutwaves in some pool with some bro. It seems like they are pulling the ‘classic’ dry humping move where the bro’s penis is erect, and the girl rubs her clitoris against it to try to work towards and orgasm. I am not sure what his personal brand is all about, or how he was able to ’snag’ a rich ass famous lady like Lady Gaga. I think she must be into the ‘prince and the pauper’ type of relationships, where she feels like she is a rich, rare, valuable resource, and she is giving some ‘loser’ the time of his life by getting to rub his hard peen in2 her vag lips.
Lady Gaga took a break from touring on Monday to hit the pool at Houston’s St. Regis hotel with her on again boyfriend, Luc Carl. Between kisses and more PDA, bikini-clad Gaga and Luc battled friends in a game of chicken, and it looks like the singer came out victorious.
Seems like they are mad conceptual/progressive. This seems like a ‘very freaky’ version of ‘dry humping.’
wonder ‘who the hell’ that bro is.
Luc is the object of Gaga’s affection currently, though, and she’s spent a lot of her downtime over the last few weeks hanging out with him in NYC, where he works as a bartender in the East Village.
Damn. Bartender in the East Village. Wonder if that is ‘more alt’ than bartending in Brooklyn? Do u ever have dry humping fantasies in pools? Have u ever had sex in a pool? What safety concerns are there? Can u flood ur womb with chlorine water? Do u wish u could be in a relaish with a famous/indie celeb even though u work a shittie job? Should I get a job as a bartender 2 ‘pick up chicks’ and ‘get a beer bellie’?
I’m not sure how M.I.A. manages to ’stay relevant.’ Her album ‘flopped’/probably lost her record label money, but I think people still enjoy ‘having a reason to h8 her.’ That’s kinda why blogs keep blogging about her. I think she mismanaged her branding model, so now people see her as ‘a human meme’ instead of an artist we are supposed to buy albums from.
N e ways, she talked to some magazine, and kept mentioning famous people, and how she h8s them/they h8 her:
First she got in a fight with Pharrell Williams, she says. “He was telling me off like crazy.” Then came Diddy, who told her the last time he saw her she was “so fat.” (She was pregnant.) … He was like, “I never knew what you looked like because I never met you when you were skinny.”
Do yall think M.I.A. was fat when she was preggers? Or did she just have a baby in her belly?
Then she attacked another woman who ‘has trouble managing her weight’ [via Oprah]:
Meanwhile, she says, “Oprah seemed like she was giving me the cold shoulder.”
Why?
“She was with Iman [Bowie]. Iman was always dancing with me, hugging and kissing me, but Oprah seemed really (ticked) off with me,” says M.I.A.
Had to google “Iman Bowie.” Looks like David Bowie’s alien hot model wife.
Do u think Oprah has time for D-list alt celebs like M.I.A.? Do u think M.I.A. is bitter that the Opbro hasn’t invited her on her show to ramble about Sri Lanka? Do white, middle aged women care about global problems from countries that Angelina Jolie hasn’t adopted a child from? [via the Malawi Theory] Do u think Oprah cares about Iman Bowie when she can throw down chills with Michelle Obama ‘on the reg’?
Wonder if Oprah is ‘chill’ [via being a bro who ur mom chills with every afternoon, sharing content, memes, and healthy living tips].
Then M.I.A. ‘artfully’ ties in a typical “Lady Gaga is bullshit” comment, saying that she is a ‘rich, entitled cunt ass bitch.’ Feel like she’s already done this 1 before so it doesn’t even count:
“Also she made this huge speech at the ball praising Lady Gaga and about how she [Lady Gaga] is helping Americans to be the best of themselves. There’s millions of other Americans who represent that for me. Is [it] about numbers? About how much you’re selling? Is it truly about the journey? Because [Lady Gaga's] journey isn’t that difficult: to go from the (expletive) Upper East Side to a (expletive) performing arts school and on to a stage at the museum of (expletive) wherever. That journey’s about four miles.”
Feel like maybe she is trying to justify her ‘poor album sales’ by saying she is ‘after something completely different’ than Larry Gagsmith.
Is Lady Gaga a ‘rich, entitled brat’? Does M.I.A. h8 black and white people? Does M.I.A. live in a world where she h8s every1? After M.I.A.’s marriage to her billionaire heir husband, is her net worth greater than Lady Gaga’s net worth? Are yall tired of M.I.A.’s gimmicks? Do yall think MIA gets too much ‘press’ but doesn’t have a good enough product to inspire iTunes purchases? Who should M.I.A. talk shit about next? Should she go after Princess Diana / Mother Theresa? [via posthumously]
It seems like 1 of the best ways for female artists to ‘get attention’ in the indiesphere is to ‘talk mad shit’ about other females in ‘the industry.’ Whether it is Lady Gaga or some other ‘boring ass indie chick’, feuds are an effective way to get ‘mad headlines.’ N e ways, it seems like Best Coast is going in a ‘completely different direction.’ Instead of ’starting shit, she seems to be focusing on sounding ‘insane.’
In this interview with some blog, she talks about her cat, and how her cat named SNACKS the cat has a huge influence on her career, both artistically and business-wise. The cat bro seems to be a ‘muse’ and a ‘bff’ type of figure. Worried that Best Coast should ’stop getting blazed’ and doing interviews.
Snacks is two-and-a-half years old – he’s a Maine Coon and I adopted him from our neighbour. He has quickly become the Best Coast mascot. When I was on tour in Europe, my boyfriend sent me a picture of Snacks that he took on his iPhone. I knew when I received it that it had to be the cover of our album. It sums us up, I guess: goofy and nostalgic, and featuring a cat with California on its butt! I’ve noticed it becoming a trend as well. I kind of wish the Klaxons album sleeve had been ours. And then there’s the Wavves cover, which also features Snacks! I leave Snacks with Nathan Wavves sometimes when we go away on tour.
Do u have a cat? When u go out of town what do u do with ur cat? Do u just leave it an open bag of cat food and let it shit all over the place? Would u trust WAVVES to cat-sit ur cat?
Seems like SNACKS the cat loves to use garage band to record buzzworthy MP3s
For example, you can hear my cat Snacks meowing on our early demos – he appears on our album sleeve and he even gets a credit on the record. My mom pointed out that my other cat Chloe might feel left out, so I will have to put her on a merch T-shirt or something to say sorry.
Worried that she ‘gets too paranoid’ when she is blazed, and can’t focus on being the best buzzband she can be.
Because I spend a lot of time on tour neurotically convinced that Snacks is dead, my friend has set up a Twitter page for Snacks so that I can keep in touch.
Do u think Snacks can ‘crossover’, or will Best Coast have to ‘go mainstream’ for Snacks to become culturally relevant?
Anything that helps Snacks reach the level of Garfield – the No 1 cat in pop culture – is good with me. He’s basically the benchmark that Snacks aims for.
I remember I once claimed that WAVVES and Best Coast need to break up for her to write her next ‘great album’ about heartbreak and loss, but now I feel like her greatest album will come after the death of her cat, where she will really explore themes like ‘death’, ‘loneliness’, loss, recovery, and create a rich, dark, complex soundscape.
R u worried about Best Coast sounding ‘too spaced out’ in her interviews? Do u think she sees her cat as a deity? Will Snacks the Cat be kidnapped by a bitter buzzband fan? Does Snacks seem like a chill bro? Will Snacks sue Best Coast and WAVVES for ‘using his image on their albums covers without his paw print authorization’ [via Vampire Weekend]? Do u think she should intensify her interviews and try to be the ‘next Bjork’ [via being 'insane'/living in a different version of reality]?
As yall know, I haven’t been posting as much lately. I have some great news to relay to yall. I finally got married. It was a beautiful ceremony, and we even had one of my art school bros create a video for us that is really in line with our alternative brand. So many tacky ass people get standard wedding photographers to document their weddings. I think the goal of those photographers is to ‘make the bride look skinny’, and justify the groom’s role in the wedding by taking a few meaningful ‘bro pix’ that really make it clear that the groomsmen are an ‘authentic can of bros.’
N e ways, our conceptual video turned out pretty amazingly. We used the hit song “Sleepyhead” by the Passion Pits as ‘our song’ since it really represented our ‘new lease on life.’
Just wanted every1 at the wedding to ‘know who we are’ ‘what we’re all about’ Understand that we are more than just ‘any other lame couple’ who is uniting together for tax benefits
Beautiful ceremony Beautiful bros Beautiful bitches Walking around conceptually moving arms, facing zany angles metaphor 4 how we are ‘obtuse as shit’ in a right angled society Eff dress shoes Wearing some Converse [via Best Coast / Vampy Weekend collab]
Feel like everything was perfect for 1 night we were all sleepie heads A feast a carnival a partie an electro rave without any deaths Feel like my immediate family and my extended family finally realized ‘who I am’ as an alternative person and how I ’see the world’ in a different/abstract way
Just want to drive away with my lover Riding the minivan wave 2 our honeymoon on the concrete beaches of Brooklyn Are yall gonna have an alt wedding? What indie song is going to be ‘yalls song’? Did this video ‘kill it’? Is this couple ‘the most authentic couple in the world’? Do u think they will be happy forever, or will they get divorced when 1 of them decides that Passion Pit is ‘too entry level’ 4 them, then the other 1 gets defensive because the song ‘means a lot’ 2 them? What are u gonna do at ur wedding to make sure u don’t have a mainstream, middle class wedding? Do u feel sad when u see high school/college acquaintances ‘getting married’, ‘looking happy’, and ultimately having an upper-middle class tacky-wave wedding? If ur not going to be rich, is the only thing left to do with ur life ‘get married and pop/poop out a few kids’?
I have always wondered what it will be like to work at a cutting edge Web 3.0 company. I would have a chill office with tons of zany toys and gadgets on my desk. I would have free food and drink, free dry cleaning, and maybe even a ‘happy ending’ tug job lounge. It seems like Facebook Inc is a sweet workplace, except they also book ‘buzzbands’ and ‘famous people’ to come in and talk to their employees so that their employees feel ’special’ and ‘in touch’ with famous human memes. Feel like maybe they should build a glass isolation cell for Lindsay Lohan in the middle of their office, and let employees feed her animal crackers and raisins.
N e ways here is some video of Kanye West in the facebook offices, doing some ’slam poetry.’ I’m not sure what the definition of ’slam poetry’ is, but I think it is just ‘emotional rapping without music.’ Might start a slam poetry club for the ethnic kids at my local high school.
A few facebooks employees got out their iPhone 4G phonecams and recorded this bro rapping on a table. Can’t really tell if this is a ‘good’ performance, or if it is just the same as every other hiphop rap song. Feel like I would be mad annoyed if Kanye West strolled into my workplace. I would be like, ‘listen bro. I don’t have time for this bullshit. I need to work on enhancing the POKE functionality [via Poke 3d].’
Anyways, Kanye West seems like he is ‘coming back’. I feel like he is probably going to make his brand seem ‘raw’ and ‘humble’ this album cycle, so it will probably be boring. Themes of ‘redemption’ and ‘overcoming demons.’ Sorta hope he just melts down again, for the sake of the blogosphere.
Do u wish u worked at Facebook Inc? Is this where they filmed the popular edgy film THE SOCIAL NETWORK? Do u think Myspace Inc employees only get to see screamo bands? Do u think Twitter Inc employees only get to see Justin Bieber? What is ur workplace like? Do they book buzzbands to help improve employee morale? Is Kanye West one of the top 5 human memes living right now [via autoblog content]?
