Sunday, July 25, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Screamo Alts have a facebook convo abt how they are pumped 4 Warped Tour

Posted: 25 Jul 2010 04:23 PM PDT


From what I understand, Warped Tour is sort of like ‘the Hot Topic’ of music festivals. They sort of appeal to the whole ‘emo’, ’screamo’, ‘alt rock’, ‘goth’, ‘dark’, ’skater’ tween demographic. I think a lot of those weird dark retail alts are pretty into that music where people are yelling, then singing in lil emo voices are the same people who find Owl City to be ‘the deepest band in the world.’ N e ways…WARPED TOUR seems like the kind of ‘festival’ that travels across the country, stopping in high density suburban tween alt communities to perpetuate the ‘purgatory alt’ brand. Sorta like the place where lil Mexis have chest tattoos, v-necks, and ’scene haircuts.’

N e ways, a couple of Screamo Alts had a convo about how they are ‘pumped’ abt Warped tour coming 2 town.

Initially, a screamo looking bro ‘brags’ that he is going to WARPED TOUR.
Several people then ‘like’ this status update to brand themselves with Warped Tour
A bro then claims that it will be ‘amazingly brutal’ in a hardcore inspiring kind of way. Tons of moshing probs.
A few people say that they are ‘jealous.’
The original bro who posted the status update, the ‘brags’ about the festival lineup, and how ’sick’ it is going 2 be.

At the tail end of the thread, a bro and some girl get ‘testy’ about which bands are worth seeing. They both claim that certain bands are ‘awesome’ and others aren’t ‘all that. It seems like in the end, they just ‘agree to disagree’, but the bro is still ‘a pimp baller’ cuz he gets to go to Warped Tour.

This facebook thread is kinda like indie rock music discussions. Some people ‘love’ some buzzbands that are people think are ‘absolute shit.’ U know the old saying…”One man’s buzzband is another man’s poopy fart noises.” -Carles, 2010

It doesn’t matter what kind of music u listen 2–every1 is gonna have opinions on what they <3 and what they h8. Wish we could all get along, and vibe out to all kinds of music, but then again, maybe if I truly believed in music equality, then it would make my taste less influential + the soundtrack of my life less meaningful.

Wish screamo retail alts would stop listening to that garbage, though. Wish they could understand that they are 'trapped' in lower middle class suburban culture, and that they can 'free their minds' and pursue something more authentic in the indiesphere. Honestly feel like every time I blog, I am on a 'social mission', on a quest for buzzband authenticity.

Have yall ever been 2 Warped Tour?
Is it mad authentic alt?
Do they have skateboarders AND screamo bands?
Have u heard of Attack Attack or Confide?
What is a good name for type of alt who attends Warped Tours?
Do people who go to Warped Tour shop at Pacific Sun, Hot Topic, Black Fly, or Hollister?
Or do they wear a 'pupu platter' of weird retail alt clothes and accessories?
Will Shaun White/Tony Hawk win a gold medal at the next Warped tour?
Do u think CONFIDE will play their cover of the Postal Service's "Such Great Heights"?

miss the freckle in yalls eye….

Some altbro wears a “SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ACID WITH YOU” shirt

Posted: 25 Jul 2010 11:59 AM PDT

Link: http://pitchfork.com/polaroid/


I remember the first time I heard the hit song “Should Have Taken Acid With You” by Neon Indian, I felt like I was standing at the forefront of a new cultural/indie movement. It seems ’so krazie’ to have grown another year older, while that song has grown another year older. Kinda weird how ‘definitive indie’ songs don’t necessarily ‘get old’, but instead ‘exist forever as a placeholder 4 a moment in alt cultural history.’ Even though buzzbands can grow into ‘indie legacy bands’, we will never forget the spirit of buzz that they buzzed when they were first buzzbands.

Always gonna dream of that night when I shoulda taken acid with yall…

N e ways… Some bro is wearing a ’should have taken acid with you’ shirt. Not sure if this is official Neon Indian band merch, or if this bro made the shirt to wear to Pitchfork Music Festival just so the band would see him in the crowd and invite him for free brewskies in the VIP center. Maybe he is actually just a random bro who laments passing on the opportunity to take acid with a bro, and has never even heard the hit song “Shoulda taken acid with u.”

Does this bro seem chill?
Would yall rather wear a Washed Out shirt or a Neon Indian shirt, or a Toro Y Moi shirt?
What type of shirts should Neon Indian make?
Should Neon Indian ’sell acid’ at their concerts?
How about branded Neon-colored Indian headdresses?

What is the most authentic kind of band merch?
Is it authentic to wear the shirt of a band to their concert, or does that make u a ‘buzzband n00b’?
Should u have taken acid with u, me, & every1 we know?

True or False: “BUZZBANDS NEVER DIE”
True or False: “BUZZ MP3S NEVER DIE”

Kings of Leon ‘go viral’ by letting a bunch of birds shit on them, eat their feces

Posted: 25 Jul 2010 10:28 AM PDT

Link: http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/atoz/2010/07/kings_of_leon_cancels_st_louis_show_pigeon_bird_shit_july_23_2010_jared_followill_missouri_heat.php?page=2


It seems like ‘the story of the weekend’ was the Kings of Leon canceling a concert a few songs in because a bunch of birds were pooping on them. I feel like that’s what happens when you play in huge venues in Middle America–there’s gonna be displaced wildlife like pigeons, deer, and possums. Sometimes when I go to a suburban shopping center, I’ll see cars that are covered in bird shit. Just wish the birds had somewhere to chill without being ‘pests’, or maybe we could build them pigeon toilets.

N e ways, the Kings Of Leon were playing some show, and a bunch of pigeons shat on them. Then they walked off stage because they were worried about getting Bird Flu. It seems like the ‘indie blogosphere’ is using this opportunity to ‘cover’ the Kings of Leon even though ‘they embody everything wrong with mainstream indie rock turned ultra mainstream.’ The meme is ‘too much 2 pass up’, since the band is kinda like ‘human turds making poopy mp3 files.’

Might include one of these jokes in this post:
a) “It seems like the pigeons know what bad music sounds like 2!”
b) “So interesting to see shit going in the Kings of Leon’s mouths instead of coming out of it!”
c) “Sigh… if only humans were allowed to throw on bands they didn’t like.”
d) “Kings of Leon effing suck.”
e) “I don’t want no pigeons [via scrubs]”
f) “Poopy my pantie wanties Kings of Leon meme h8 yall.”
g) “Ur sex is on fire… more like ur is on my .” (to the tune of “Sex on Fire”)
h) Choose Ur Own / Kings of Leon joke

Here is some statement they used to ‘calm down’ the angry nickelback rocker bros and fat white trash wannabe cougars who got pissed that they left the concert:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

PIGEON INFESTATION FORCES KINGS OF LEON OFFSTAGE EARLY IN ST. LOUIS

An infestation of pigeons living in the rafters of the Verizon Amphitheatre in St. Louis, MO, forced the Kings of Leon to walk offstage after three songs last night. Even though opening bands The Postelles and The Stills came offstage complaining of getting riddled with large amounts of pigeon excrement, the Kings of Leon decided to carry on regardless. The band felt it would be unfair to the fans to cancel the show at that late moment.

“I’m surprised they stayed on for as many songs as they did,” said Andy Mendelsohn of Vector Management. “Jared was hit several times during the first two songs. On the third song, when he was hit in the cheek and some of it landed near his mouth, they couldn’t deal any longer. It’s not only disgusting — it’s a toxic health hazard. They really tried to hang in there. We want to apologize to our fans in St. Louis and will come back as soon as we can.”

When the band arrived earlier in the day, the venue warned management that there had been a significant pigeon infestation problem with summer shows over the years, but they were doing all they could to fix it.

“We couldn’t believe what The Postelles and The Stills looked like after their sets,” said Jared Followill. “We didn’t want to cancel the show, so we went for it. We tried to play. It was ridiculous.”

Kings of Leon are headed to Chicago tonight to perform at the First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre as scheduled.

Feel sad that this is what the Kings of Leon looked like after the show.

They seem like unchill rocker bros who have let ‘fame’ and ‘5-star treatment’ go to their heads. Don’t really care if it’s a health hazard–woulda been ’sooo rock n roll’ 2 play while they are ‘covered in shit.’ Probs what the Rolling Stones/Beatles/AnCo would have done.

Wish I could vibe out to my fave indie buzzbands being showered in . Might invent some sort of ‘ cannon’ to serve as commentary 4 the state of indie rock consumerismwave.

U know that I could use some poopy…
some like u

-The Leon Kings

Is this story the perfect storm of ‘band that makes shitty music’ + ‘real ’ which culminated in one of the top music news meme reports of all year?
Do yall care about the Kings of Leon?
Do yall hope more birds on more buzzbands playing live shows?
Is it just funny 2 imagine going in their mouths, and falling all over them?
Are the Kings of Leon the ‘band of the decade’?
Is “Use Some1 yall” the song of the century?
Do u think this meme helps the Kings of Leon’s brand?
Should the concert promoter be ’sued’ for letting pigeons chill on the stage?
Have u ever climbed on top of a stage, then took a dump on a band?
Has a bird ever pooped on u? Did u feel embarrassed?
R u more likely to be pooped on by a bird, or be struck by lighting?