Memes Commissioned by Douglas Haddow [link] I can’t believe that ‘triflin ass gold digging skank’ on the cover of the Vampire Weekend is suing the band for $2 million dollars (US). [link]. Her broke ass ‘real name’ is “Kirsten Kennis”, and it seems like her modeling career never ‘took off’ so now she is trying to get a 2nd wind for her career, or at least get some ‘bank’ to buy a summer home or something.
She’s probably gonna sell current pix of herself to some indie magazine/website, and her old ass face will pose for a feature where she does an ‘updated’ pic of the old pose, providing blogs with a solid ‘meme of the day.’ Do u think she reads blogs, and was ‘waiting for the right moment to strike’? Do u think she would still sue them if they were some forgettable blog band? Do u think her lawsuit will claim that bros bought the album because they wanted to jerk off to cougar wave MILF hipster porn?
Do u think Vampire Weekend should think about ‘taking her broke ass’ off their #1 hit selling album cover, and replacing them with either a ‘better’ image, or possibly an image that guarantees that they won’t have to pay any1 that much money.
Maybe they should use a retro Vampire movie meme, but I think ‘Twilight’ might be a more ‘current’ decision. Is Buffy the Vampire Slayer ‘mad alt’?
Maybe just put a mad tuggable ‘bombshell’ on there.
Possibly her sweet ass rack.
Feel like maybe they could go with the Lost in Translation image, since Sofia Coppola won’t sue them and lose her ‘indie cred.’ She likes to marry bros in bands, so there is still an ‘outside chance’ that she will divorce the lead singer of Phoenix and marry Ezra Koenig
Think Contra used to be a video game. I don’t think video game characters have legal rights
This bro seems like a terrorist wave contra bro who probably doesn’t even know what indie music is. I think that’s Osama Bin Laden’s dad. (Just sorta assume that all enemies are related [via Barrack Hussein Bin Obama Ladin tea party terrorist theory]
Since Vampire Weekend uses Futura font, the same font utilized in Wes Anderson’s quirky wave movies, maybe they can ‘collab’ on some album art work. Riding the Tenenbaum wave might be a good choice. Maybe in 30 years, Wes Anderson can use a Vampire Weekend song in 1 of his films, after their music becomes ‘iconic’/defines a meaningful retro aesthetic.
Really feel like the universal Stock Photo girl represents an ‘every-woman’ that appeals, some1 that every bro would want to ‘take home to mom’ but also ‘bang hard.’ Women find her smile to be ‘welcoming’ and not just some ‘cunt who thinks she’s hot stuff’, which is how most women regard other women who are prettier than they are. This option has the opportunity to ’sell the most units.’
What ‘album cover’ strategy would yall use? Do u feel ‘closer to Vampire Weekbros’ now that they are in trouble, or is this ‘what they deserve’? Does that ‘mean old hag’ deserve $2 million? Is Futura ‘the new Helvetica’? Will Kirsten Kennis ‘burn in hell’? Will the Vampire Weekend bros have to rent out their condos in Manhattan/Brooklyn for 2 years to pay for this financial hit? Would Kristen Kennis be happy just knowing that she is ‘blog famous’? Is the stock photo girl ‘the hottest piece of ass’ in the entire world? What should Vampire Weekend do about their album cover? Is this a good opportunity to ‘reissue some units with a new album cover’ to generate some more sales [via vintage collector's item]?
Juggalos are a new zany subculture of American humans. They are usually poor, middle Americans who are mad uneducated. They listen to a genre of music called horrorcore, which is where a white dude with face paint raps about killing people, having sex with their dead bodies, and eating them. Even though juggalos can be any race/color/demographic, they are often associated with ‘white trash’, sorta like uneducated bros/a gathering of misfits who find ’strength in numbers.’
N e ways, they have a music festival / conference / gathering / seminar every year, and they create a video meme to ‘hype it up.’ It seems like it is an annual meme that all ‘high level culture blogs’ get to make fun of, since they are ’soo stupid, poor, and dumb.’ Always a slam dunk of a meme to watch anything juggalo related, so it is super sweet of them to throw down this annual meme, showcasing how ‘backwards’/’stupid’ their culture is.
Feel like maybe juggalo festivals are more authentic than indie music fans. Their ‘festival’ is mad underground, and they don’t have any corporate sponsorships. Wonder if that makes the festival more authentic. Feel like I might stop going to over-sponsored indie festivals. When ur festival has a corporate sponsorship, do u make more money, or do u just ‘put on a better festival’? Will the Gather of the Juggalos be more dangerous than most California raves? This year, will we see tons of internet humor video making bros go ‘on location’ the the festival to ‘make fun of the juggalos’ in a series of youtube/funny or die videos that get ‘millions’ of views? Is the Juggalo Nation a chiller nation than ‘Indie Nation’? Are indie fans ‘better than Juggalos’ because their parents made more money than Juggalo Parents? Do u feel bad for the old rap groups who now only appeal to a weird subgroup of white people
Feel like the gathering is probably a mad progressive place. A place where genres like ‘rap’ and ‘rock’ merge into a super genre [via Limp Bizkits]. Honestly kinda want to be a juggalo now. I feel like I have always been searching for ‘my place in the world’ and ‘a group of like-minded individuals’ to have relevant topical discussions with. Just wanna get meaningful, and feel ‘not so alone.’ So ‘jaded’ and ’snarky’–just wish I could believe in miracles again [via nostalgic images of youth].
Wanna ride the dreamwave the jugg wave the white trash wave the goth clown prsnl brnd
Be a 2nd rate citizen with a group of people who truly understand me tired of upper middle class problems just wanna be non-self-aware and get drunk with my juggabros
R u gonna go to the Gathering of the Juggalos? Is Juggalo bashing ‘mainstream’? Should we build a fence around the Gathering of the Juggalos, and keep the Juggalos from returning to society? Are juggalos bad for society / America? Are juggalos more ‘pure’ than indie music fans? Are internet snarky culture blog readers ‘better than’ Juggalos because they browse the internet on premium Macbooks instead of crappy Dell / HP laptops? Do the Gathering of the Juggalos seem like a chill experience, like a huge ‘unemployment fair’?
Some bitter, old music critic from a newspaper blog called “The Chicago Sun Times” named Jim DeRogatis went to Pitchfork Music Festival, and seemed to have an agenda against the festival + the ‘boring ass’ indie bands that played there. Think his newspaper gig ‘folded’ and now he is trying to get hits for some new blog. He is apparently a ‘respected pre-internet music critic’ or something like that, but I’m not sure if he is still ‘relevant’ since people can just stream music instead of reading about how music sounds. It seems like he was eager to call the festival a ’shitfest’, referring to it as “YAWNFORK” cuz it was s0000 b000ring.
Anyways, he said a bunch of crap about how the bands ’sucked live’, but were ‘hyped hard’ by p4k, and p4k let every1 down. Seems like some sort of ‘old media’ vs ‘new media’ battle. Perhaps he is mad jealous of the ’sick hits’ that Pitchfork gets.
Here is the part where he said the Panda Bear set sucked:
Sadly, things slowed down again during the penultimate set as dusk and a slight breeze finally replaced the day's oppressive heat while Animal Collective's Panda Bear, a.k.a. Noah Lennox, played a way-too-long set of drony trance grooves punctuated by atonal yelps, yodels, and the occasional wounded whale noise. If this sort of thing had been delivered by a third-tier Grateful Dead offshoot band on one of the smaller stages at Bonnaroo, the Pitchfork crowd would have scoffed in derision. But since it was Pitchfork-endorsed, most stood politely and soaked it in, though there was a steady stream of refugees fleeing for the other stages, the food lines, or the Porta-Potties.
Without the aid of mind-altering substances, Panda Bear's performance was an indulgent, unlistenable mess. With them, it may well have prompted the sort of bad trip that would lead someone to believe that they could fly off the steeple of First Baptist Congregational Church across Ashland Avenue from Union Park.
Damn. Unlistenable mess. Wish he’d just write chill words that ‘the masses’ can get behind, instead of trying to kill harsh vibes. Wonder if Panda Bear will turn into the new M.I.A. [via mudslinging/'prophetic' pieces that claim 'the album isn't that good yall--it's all just internet hype']
Then he went on to say that LCD Soundsystem was ‘pretty good’, but then used some sort of tricky journalistic tool where he did a flippyroo to say that Pitchfork Music Festival ’sucked’:
Still, as great as the band was [LCD Soundsystem], the mediocrity of much of what preceded it on the first two days prompted one to wonder if Pitchfork ultimately means as much in 2010 as it did earlier in the decade.
Damn. Seems like he’s really harshing on Pitchfork’s vibes. Maybe since he is losing hits, he is going to start one of those new blogs where you are just ‘anti-pitchfork’ and sorta ride that wave to get a couple of hits. Sometimes it seems like Pitchfork is an unchill bro, but then old media bros try to ruin Pitchfork’s vibes/voice, and ur like ‘damn, maybe p4k is kinda chill 2 have around after all.’ Getting defensive.
Is Pitchfork ‘losing power’ or is it ‘more powerful than ever’? Are hits + ad dollars the only things that matter in the fight for the blogosphere? Do 80%-90% of buzzbands ’suck live’? Is this a real ‘revelation’, or is that just something that people need 2 accept in the internet indie era? Has Pitchfork’s ‘voice’ been ‘compromised by their Music Festival’? Is this ‘a bad thing’ or a ‘who cares’ thing? Should Jim DeRogatis have his ass ‘banned’ from Pitchfork Music Festival next year if he is just gonna pull this ‘anti-p4k’ bullshit [via biting the hand that feeds]? Should all music critics have a limit on the length of their careers, or do u wanna ‘grow old and bitter’ with a music critic bro as ‘the kids’ get into ‘lame, empty, hollow shitty music’?
Puppet: Hi. I have a new blogspot. Can I interview u 4 it? Best Coast: Sure. Blog buzz is a chill way to get PR. Puppet: Yeah. We’re just getting off the ground, but going to start looking for editors and contributors across the globe. We will correspond using GoogleWave AZN: I’m an AZN Best Coast: Cool, cool. Puppet: Really feel like blogs are the future. Best Coast: 4 sure… Puppet: They give puppets like me a voice, an opportunity to reach other humans and puppets all over the globe. Best Coast: True dat… True Dat… Puppet: We also have a twitter account. Will you tweet out our site after we interview you? Best Coast: Yeah, we’ll see. Just @ me Puppet: Cool. Yeah, fans are really gonna like what we’re doing. Bring a whole new spin to the blog game. AZN: Are u hungry Best Coast: No I’m cool. Puppet: So when’s ur album coming out? Best Coast: Next week yall. Puppet: Cool. Maybe we can have a follow up email interview, and u can become a regular contributor to my site. We have a cool layout, and we can just forward you a login access code. Best Coast: g2g Puppet: Where r u gonna go? Best Coast: 2 roll some joint cigarettes. Can puppets get high? EVERY1: HELLS YEAH
Have yall ever chilled with a puppet? Have yall ever been interviewed by a puppet? Are puppets gonna replace bloggers? Do u think this puppet based web series will ‘get off the ground’ and get picked up by MTVU?
I have always wondered what kind of animal I will be when I am reincarnated. I feel like there’s a lot of chill animals out there, and you can live in a lot of cool places when ur an animal. Tons of flexibility, and u don’t have to be ‘employed.’ U can be the king of the jungle, king of the sea, or even the king of the beach.
Feel like I would be a domesticated cat so my owner would ‘love me’ more than anything in the world. Preferably would like to live with some1 who has a spacious apartment. I would sorta become the owner’s best friend, since they could just get blazed and watch me be a cat. They would ‘marvel’ at me. I feel sad for young people who live alone with their cats. They seem eager to ‘turn their cat into a meme’, attempting to convey their love for their cat on a universal level.
Hope this chill kitten doesn’t have 2 take a drug test for work anytime soon. He seems ‘mad blazed’, like ready to walk into a Taco Bell at 2 a.m. Have yall ever got ur dog/cat/bird high?
Is this ‘animal cruelty’? Should weed be legalized for pets? Does the cat look chilled out? Did Best Coast and WAVVES start the ‘dank kitty’ movement? Do u just wanna get blazed and LOL @ LOLCATS? Are people who live alone with cats usually ‘mad depressed’? Do u know any1 who smokes tons of weed and loves their cat(s)?
