Wednesday, July 14, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Letter of Appreciation 2 the Rich Guy Whose House We Partied At Last Night

Posted: 14 Jul 2010 04:26 PM PDT

Photo by thecobrasnake


Dear Rich Old Cool Dude Whose House We Partied At Last Night,

Let me first start out by saying you are one of the chillest bros I have ever met in my life. Even though u r twice my age, you might actually be twice as chill as me. You are one of the main inspirations in my life, proving that you can get rich quick off some gimmick, then spend the rest of your life chilling, partying, and doing rich people stuff.

Your house is beautiful. So much space for partying, great location, great views, and since it is located on acreage, we were safe from any threat of the cops busting the party. Even if the police came, you probably would have invited them to chill & party with us–that’s just how chill of a bro u r. I have never attended such a chill party with tons of alcohol, marijuana, recreational hallucinogens, blow, kush, hookah bar access, and even a sex dungeon that I wandered into late in the night.

I was also impressed with your selection of food. A wide range of dips including spinach artichoke, 3 types of homemade hummus, queso, goat cheese, 5 types of salsa, guac, and even a fajita bar (before it ran out). Also…let’s just say “the brownies were delish ;-P [via WEED].” Your Costco Membership seems like it really came in handy last night.

You are more than just another Cool Dad. are trying so hard to tell u that their lives’ are meaningful just because they had a kid and are forced working middleclass/uppermiddle class boring/creative jobs. I’m not sure whether or not you have a kid, but if you did, it would probably be a chill lil bro, and wouldn’t be a big deal. You will still be open to throwing huge ass parties at your house where random people come to drain your resources. You might not have many real friends, but you can surround yourself with young people who are more than willing to make you feel young forever. If I could stay young forever, Lord knows I would be your bro in the long run.

I have been to a few house parties at ‘rich peoples’ houses, but it is usually the ‘parents out of town thing’, and either there is nothing to drink/smoke/eat, or the spoiled rich kid is trying to kick every1 out the entire night. Your house was the exact opposite. A chill, homely environment was created where no1 was ‘going too crazy’, but at the same time, every1 was ‘chilling hard.’ It was truly the ‘Golden Corral of hardcore drug use’ because of your generosity.

Please feel free to give me some tips on ‘how to get rich’ and find a career that allows you to chill mad hard. I heard rumors that you made your fortune when you started a _____________ company. I wouldn’t mind a work hard + party hard + chill hard lifestyle, just as long as I could ‘go big’ OnDemand like you do.

The night was so memorable. Your house is so ‘palatial’ but also has some really positive modern design elements. We almost got in trouble when we were exploring your huge house, then you came up to us and pretended to be angry at us, holding a gun to my head. But then you ‘lost your shit’ laughing when you saw how scared I was. We all shared some nervous laughter, and then huffed some freon together. When I woke up from my blackout, I was laying in your bed, and I could tell that the Egyptian cotton sheets had a super high thread count.

I want to be like u when I grow up. A lot could happen between now and then. I might not become rich, and I might never have a real career. I might grow up and lose touch with the party scene. I might never receive a late night text message about an early morning afterparty at your house ever again. But maybe nights like last night can’t happen every night. Maybe they do happen every night, and that is ur life–a life that I am openly jeal of.

Rich old dude whose house we Partied at–you are one of the greatest bros I have ever met in my life. And I only knew you for one night. But what a night it was…

Signed,
A bro who went wild’n'out at ur house last night

PS: I stole a _________ from your house.

Have yall ever partied at a rich dude’s house who u didn’t know?
Was the vibe chill, dangerous, or thrilling?
Do u hope to be independently wealthy when ur old, but still mingle with kids from the alt scene?
Have u ever been to a Golden Corral?

Even more mainstreamers talk about kewl new indie buzzband PHOENIX on facebook

Posted: 14 Jul 2010 03:12 PM PDT


Facebook is a tool where people talk about life, and other people read about their lives’, then other people comment, and u feel like u have friends on the internet who care about u and want to get to know about u and what u like so sometimes u can go out with them in real life and take pix them post them and tag them, then other people will see those pix and will be like, ‘o kewl they must be friends. saw them tagged 2gether in a few photos and blowing up my minifeed with wall2walls.’

Anyways, facebook is also a place where mainstreamers talk about indie buzzbands. Due to social networking buzz, tons of previously undiscovered buzzbands are getting ‘tons of coverage.’ Here is another example of some mainstreamers talking about the ‘totally indie’ band

It seems like mainstreamer #1 found out about from MTV.
then mainstreamer #2 was like ‘nah bro, heard about them on the OC [via California here come]‘
then mainstreamer #1 was like ‘oh i feel rlly mainstream. do u know any other good bands’
then mainstreamer #2 got in a time machine and said ‘the shins and modest mouse kill it.’
then an altstreamer comes out of nowhere and is like ‘YALL ARE FUCKING MAINSTREAMERS.’
finally, every1 simultaneously said ‘we luv indie rawk.’

Do yall talk about buzzbands on facebook?
Have u picked up sweet recommendations from facebook?
Whenever a buzzband releases a new mp3 do you ’share’ that shit to look cool?
Have you seen any mainstreamers talking about buzzbands on facebook?
Do u get pissed when mainstreamers find out about indie buzzbands?
Is the ultimate modern mainstream indie band?

BUZZBAND VS BLOG: Best Coast tells HIPSTER RUNOFF to “EAT A DICK”

Posted: 14 Jul 2010 12:40 PM PDT

Link: http://twitter.com/bestycoastyy/status/18495923107


Best Coast is a popular buzzband getting ‘tons of buzz’ from some of the biggest indie mp3 blogs on the internet. HIPSTER RUNOFF is an in-depth music blog, meme aggregator, and a buzzband news source + analysis mecca.

It seems like Best Coast ‘hates’ HIPSTER RUNOFF, tweeting that the popular blog can ‘go eat a dick.’ She had the option to say HRO could ’suck a dick’, or even ‘take a cock up its ass’, but ‘eating a dick’ was a passionate hate message that she wanted the entire blogosphere and twittersphere to hear.

WAVVES could not be reached for comment.

This is not the first time HIPSTER RUNOFF has been ‘hated on’ by a buzzband. Recently Neon Indian got ‘mad pissed’ at HIPSTER RUNOFF for post-erroneous reporting [link].

Does Best Coast h8 being blogged about on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Has HIPSTER RUNOFF been ‘harsh’ on Best Coast?
Are buzzbands angry when HIPSTER RUNOFF blogs about them?
Does Best Coast h8 all blogs, or just HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is Best Coast pissed at HIPSTER RUNOFF for blogging about her everytime she twitpics bags of dank?

Do u think WAVVES and BEST COAST get blazed and talk about how unchill HIPSTER RUNOFF is?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF ‘a fucking sleazy ass shitty blog site’?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF bad 4 the blogosphere?
Why do u think Best Coast h8s HIPSTER RUNOFF?

No official response has been made from the @HIPSTERRUNOFF twitter [link]

Should Carles and Best Coast ‘chill’ and smoke some fat blunts, riding chillwaves to fuzzbuzz heaven 2gether?
Are yall on #TEAMCARLES or #TEAM_BEST.WAVV?

M.I.A clones herself, constructs choir, conceptually performs on Letterman

Posted: 14 Jul 2010 10:09 AM PDT


M.I.A. seems to have used her billionaire boyfriend’s money to invest in ‘high priced cloning technology.’ It seems like she created multiple versions of herself in order to form a ‘choir’ to make her show more interesting. Typically, rappers are ‘hella boring’, both live and televised. This gimmick is probably a good way to create a bloggable meme, and confuse people in Middle America who actually watch late night television.

Do u think Letterman is trying to brand himself as ‘the new Fallon’, letting alt performers ‘get their alt on’ on his stage?
Will Jimmy Fallon retaliate by inviting MIA on and letting her murder some1 on stage?

Was this performance of “Born Free” terrible, or were u waiting for some gingers to run on stage and get genocided?

Do yall like the MIA choir? Do u think they are all just as loud and obnoxious as her? Or do they have their own unique personalities, possibly paving the way for a sitcom about a loving family who tends to butt heads sometimes.

Wonder where they found all of these girls? Craigslist post? Talent agency? Side of the road? They were kidnapped and forced to perform with her? Struggling performance artists who will do anything for $20-$50/ ‘experience’?
Is this some sort of metaphor about individuality, and females in music?
Is M.I.A. just ‘one of many’ dopey looking girls in sunglasses who can yell into a mic?
Do u feel bad for ‘the hefty clone’?
Are all of the clones ‘ethnic’ or are they white girls with brown paint on their faces?
Is this this ‘greatest indie late night talk show performance’ in the history of indie bands on late night talk shows?

Wonder if Letterman thinks she is just another weirdo on her show or if he knows he has to respect her because she is basically a billionaire.

Was this performance a ‘perfect’ conceptual performance?
Did she ‘beat’ Lady Gaga to the ‘cloning gimmick’?
Did she beat Katy Perry to the ‘genocide’ gimmick?
Do u hope M.I.A. kills more gingers asap?
Have any other females in music utilized the cloning gimmick? Seems like an MTV Awards level gimmick.
Is cloning unethical [via Dolly the Sheep]?
Which buzzband do yall wish would clone themselves?

Smart Car collaborates with Etsy to make car with Crocheted Exterior

Posted: 14 Jul 2010 06:24 AM PDT

Link: http://www.neatorama.com/2010/07/13/crocheted-car-cozy/


Crocheting is a popular arts and crafts project that girls learn how to do. They usually aren’t very good at it, and only really know how to make scarves, but as long as they picked a keut color, they are usually okay and feel like they are doing something meaningful with their lives’.  Smart Car is a brand of cars that make a lil clown car for people who care about the environment 2 drive.

N e ways, not sure if Etsy really collab-ed with smart car, or if this was just the ‘life project’ of a lonely woman or something. Wonder if this car is ‘aerodynamic’ or possibly ‘a huge safety hazard.’ Would be kinda scared 2 drive it. Might die.

Wish I had invented Etsy, making ‘mad bank’ off girls who think they deserve to be paid for the crap that they make. Do all girls go through a phase where they ‘make jewelry’ that they try 2 peddle? Do all girls want to be ‘fashion designers’? When girls realize that they will never be fashion designers, are they content 2 just try to collect an authentic vintage collection?

Would yall rather know how to crochet, or how to use a macbook to start a chillwaves/lofi project?

Would yall rather ride into hell in a Smart Car or a Hummer?
Are arts and crafts ‘for losers’?
Have u ever crocheted anything ‘alt’?
Whenever u see a Smart Car on the road, do u imagine the people in it dying in a crash?
Are smart cars good for the environment?
Is crocheting a more authentic form of architecture?

Arcade Fire tries to prevent album backlash by riding a charity meme

Posted: 14 Jul 2010 06:02 AM PDT

Link: target=”_blank”>http://pitchfork.com/news/39444-arcade-fire-pledge-big-money-for-haiti/


Arcade Fire is a former indie band who is in the process of ‘going mainstream’, possibly about to be just as mainstream as the Kings of Leon. Even though their songs have been licensed to huge films and events like the Super Bowl, they seem to always ‘give their money away to charity.’ One of their members is apparently from Haiti, so she probably throws out ideas like “Let’s give a million dollars of our money away to charity” and the rest of the band members are like, “hmmm… okay… we’ll see…. still gotta finish paying off my condo in Montreal, but we’ll see…”

Arcade Fire is one of the few indie bands who can ride a ‘charity meme.’ The goal of dropping a charity meme is to ‘distract people’ from trashing ur album, since it is tied to the cause of ‘helping humanity.’ As pure as the intentions are, riding the charity meme can help u form a forcefield of positive vibes around ur album that no music critic can penetrate.

Seems like they ‘pulled a Wyclef Jean’ and started one of those ‘text 2 donate’ lines:

According to the Times, at the show, Arcade Fire co-leader Régine Chassagne revealed the creation of a nonprofit organization called Kanpe, which funnels aid from Canada to Haiti to help the poor. (Chassagne’s parents emigrated from Haiti to Canada.) According to the Kanpe website, Chassagne sits on the nonprofit’s board. At the Quebec show, Win Butler, Chassagne’s husband and Arcade Fire co-leader announced that audience members could donate $5 to the effort by texting 30333. UPDATE: You have to text the word “STAND”. The band promised to match every donation from the public up to a million (Canadian) dollars.

Wonder if they are going to be like most famous musicians and athletes and let their incompetent friends/innercircle work for the charity for high annual salaries.

I sorta feel most comfortable with ‘telethons’, since I know what I am getting into when I turn it on. I know people are gonna be begging me 4 money, and when I don’t wanna watch it any more, I can turn it on. H8 when I’m just searching for buzz mp3s, and then people ruin my chillvibes by bringing up ‘harsh global issues.’

Seems like the lead singer wants every1 to know he is loaded, and doesn’t even make money any more. Probably ‘wipes his ass’ with $100 bills.

Butler said, “Please, take our money,” the Times reports.

Will any buzzbands from the modern chillwave lofi era ride charity memes, or is the Arcade Fire in a unique mainstream market position?

Will Arcade Fire raise a million dollars?
Do cool dads who read blogs donate money to charity via text, or is that more of a twitter phenomenon?
Do u think Arcade Fire is trying to ‘minimize’ their inevitable backlash by linking their brand with charity?
Should they donate all proceeds of their album to the Boys and Girls Club, kinda like LeBron James’ “The Decision” special?
Is Haiti still rebuilding? Haven’t seen them as a trending topic on twitter in a while
Is the Arcade Fire neglecting our oil spill? Should Americans boycott their album?
Do u h8 it when famous people + bands get philanthropic, or do u respect them because they are using their voice for good?
Can u believe the Arcade Fire are millionaires?
Do u think they will raise a million dollars, or do they know that they will make under $100k in donations?
If the Arcade Fire wanted to make the perfect indie charity meme, would they organize an indie ‘We Are The World’ meme?