Monday, July 12, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Best Coast lets fans ’stream’ new album at Urby Outfitties, looks to appeal to alt demographics

Posted: 12 Jul 2010 01:25 PM PDT

Link: http://lstn.urbanoutfitters.com/lstnradio.php?auto=on&group=Best%20Coast&name=Best%20Coast%20-%20Crazy%20For%20You


Since every relevant album is going to ‘leak’, most indie bands are forced to stream their entire albums for free at various sites. The goal is selecting a site that has a built in fan base that might inspire a few thousand more album purchases. Some artists choose NPRs to appeal to cool dads with money, while other artists select Myspace to appeal to minorities and laggard tweens. Chosing Urban Outfitters for Best Coast’s stream seems like a ‘bold business decision’, meant to integrate her product into their sales / lifestyle brand. Urban Outfitters probably has a huge database filled with ‘ditzy alt girls’ who don’t really know how to find their own music on the internet, instead trusting brands to create compilations for them.

Not sure if Urby Outty sells CDs, or maybe there is some sort of ‘merch’ deal in place. Maybe every1 who shops there will get a Best Coast sampler pack that involves a CD, a kitten, and a kilo of weed (only if they purchase something for more than.
Do yall know what type of people shop at Urban Outfitters? What kind of music do they play in there?

Have yall heard the album/downloaded the leak?
Is it ‘good’?
Is it ‘album of the year material’?

N e ways, seems like this album has ‘the chance to displace Beach House’ from the top of the female indie charts in 2k10. It just depends on if u want to honor the ‘buzzband that has paid their dues’ (Beach House) or if u wanna brand yourself with the fuzzy buzzy trend (Best Coast). Even if the Best Coast album is more enjoyable on a regular basis, feel like most critics will probably slot Beach House at #1 female singer of 2k10 (with a shot at best album of 2k10 if flops), but also rank Best Coast top 5 to make sure that she represents ‘promise’ and ‘the future’ of fuzzy buzzy indie rock.

How do u feel now that Best Coast’s album is finally out, and she is no longer just one of those fuzzy blog bands with 1 decent mp3?
Will she have staying power?
Will she have a ’sophomore slump’
Will she play Fallon?
Does she need to break up with WAVVES? Is holding her career back?
Is WAVVES pissed that her album is ‘way better’ than his own album?
Will WAVVES be pissed
Will the album score an 8.7 on Pitchfork, or is every song the same, singing about beach, cats, weed, and boys?
Is Best Coast the #1 female in the indie buzzosphere?
If u were in a buzzband, what website would u let stream ur album debut? NPR? Myspace? Twitter?

Are the new iPhone 4 commercials trying 2 hard to appeal 2 old Middle Americans & vloggy tweens?

Posted: 12 Jul 2010 11:57 AM PDT


Apple recently came out with a new that has a webcam / HD video camera on it, so u can vlog and video chat with other people instead of using the phone in a generic manner. The new ads ‘highlighting’ this feature seem like they are really trying to demonstrate how can enhance opportunities for authentic human connections. Sorta feel like they portrayed tons of mainstream, Middle American ideas of ‘family’, ‘love’, and ‘relationships’, trying to make the Apple brand ‘essential’ in Middle America.

Honestly feel kinda bummed because I thought I was progressive 4 using Apple products.
Guess now that there is an Apple Store at every suburban mall, I should stop kidding myself
Apples are for streamers
Dells are fore streamers
GPS devices are for suburban streamers
All has ‘gone mainstream’ [via relatively affordable price points/in-store credit opportunities]

Every1 loves 2 love
An opportunity to stay connected
Every new product–website, software, or hardware device
gives us an opportunity to take ‘humanity’ to the next level
Making us more relevant than any generation before us
the ability to do more great things

So pumped to use the lil camera on my 4
Gonna livevlog so hard
No longer waiting til I get home to upload my vlogs to my youtube/vimeo account
my tribe of followers are gonna be soo connected to my web brand

Gonna tell my boyfriend that he finally planted a load of semen in my vagina

Livevlogging via Apple will change everything
Feel like it will be just as fulfilling as hanging out with some1 in person
Won’t even really have 2 leave the house
or buy a cell phone plan–probs just a data plan
with the skype/iChat app

Can’t wait to break up with my GF using video chat
Or to tell her that she ‘looks like shit’ and needs to put on something
more flattering/forgiving for our date

Might also tell her that I have an STD
Or ‘threaten 2 kill her’ [via Mel Gibson / OJ Simpson]

I always feel creeped out
and uncomfortable when old people use

I feel like they deserve to live their lives’ without it
New commercials make me kinda sad that we are forcing iProducts down their throats
because I don’t really think I want to experience any of these lamestream events in my life
Don’t wanna have a family
Don’t wanna have a kid
Don’t want to ‘take care’ of my parents after they get old
Gonna stick them in a homeless community without wifi, and limited TV access
Might just ship them 2 North Korea

But maybe when I am a dad,
I will buy my daughter a cell phone so that we don’t fall out of touch
I can use to relate to her on her own level
send her positive texts
maybe even ‘get hornie’ and sext with her if my marriage falls apart and I become an alcoholic

She is soo spoiled
Paid for braces
Data plan
Private School
Horse Riding Lessons
and she can’t even vlog with me?

’spoiled ass cunt’ -Gen Y dad after raising a terrible kid

Even if I’m in the military
and my wife gives birth
U can jam an up her pussy
and ‘live vlog’ that shit
Kinda sad I won’t be able to start off being a ‘deadbeat dad’ on the right foot.

Even if u can’t ‘talk’ on ur phone, u can utilize sign language
to vlog hard

I miss the days when Apple would just put a cutesy indie song in their commercials
harvesting buzzbands to the mainstream
like the Feists
or other ’shitty alt rock songs’
like that one by the band JET

I remember when I was the only alt in my elementary / middle school / high school / college dorm to have a Mac
Before it was even ‘maltstream trendy’
Really just fit in with my lifestyle
Not even trying ‘2 be kewl’

But now every1 has an apple product
iPhones
iPods
iShuffles
iMacs
iPads
iTweens

So many opportunities
to help Middle Americans and mainstreamers
utilize in tacky ways
How much is 2 much?

I remember when used to just be for people who lived in relevant cities
but I guess suburban families are kinda rich
and have tons of money 2 blow
at Apple Store outlets

How do u feel about Apple’s new Middle American brand?
Is Apple ’swirling down the shitter’ or are they like a buzzband that is morphing into U2?
Are Apple’s products ‘perfect’ or is AT&T ‘fucking bullshit’?
Should I start using Android for pure Google integration?
Do u h8 living in the vlog era?
What meaningful moments of ur life do you think you will livevlog with your friends and families?
Do these commercials make u want to throw up?
Do u wish you could be a semi-professional actor who got the chance to star as a ‘generic American’ in an commercial?
Are humans ‘too connected’ via ?

Pie Chart Meme Graphic: How artists, record labels, & retailers split album sales

Posted: 12 Jul 2010 09:47 AM PDT

Link: http://www.thedailyswarm.com/headlines/sad-pie-chart-illustrates-distribution-music-revenue/
Link: http://www.theroot.com/views/how-much-do-you-musicians-really-make?GT1=38002


Have always wanted to start a buzzband, but didn’t really know if it was ‘worth it’ cuz of the state of the modern music industry. Feel like there is some sort of ‘effed up’ system where bands don’t even get paid, and even if u go mainstream, tons of entities are ’stealing ur money’ cuz they market + distribute ur music. Mad bummed. Thought being a rock star would get u mad rich, but feel like this chart illustrates that bands ‘don’t make that much money.’

Feel like if I had a band, I wouldn’t have a manager, bass player, or lead guitarist. I would avoid signing to a record label, and would try really hard not to use a distributor. Might outsource an ‘album sales website’ to a web design firm in India. Just gotta maintain all my profits, avoiding ‘legal counsel’ and even a ‘producer.’ So weird that bands have to spend money on all of this stuff.

‘Solo project’ without any sort of band / marketing infrastructure seems ideal. Wonder if chillwave/lofi/being Radiohead is the best possible band business model, since you can minimize ‘bullshit costs’ and really focus on exploiting your tribe.

Really just want to keep all of the profits, knowing that my art belongs to me, and no1 can use it without my consent.
H8 how the music industry is so effed up, and it doesn’t even allow us to make art any more. Even Larry Gaga is a ’slave’ to the horizontally integrated corporate structure.

Do artist ‘make money’ from album sales?
What type of band would yall be in?
What staff would u have if you had a band?
What are some good ways to ‘cut corners’ and save ur band budget?
Will I make more money in my life if I have a mediocre 9-5 job for 35 yea, or if I have a buzzband that has 2 albums that sell moderately well?
Does this mean I’m never going to be a rock star / blog star?
Is the music industry ’swirling down the shitter’?
Do musicians deserve Health Insurance?
Do record labels ’steal’ tons of money from artists, or are bands ‘worthless’ without relevant record labels?
Do musicians/bands waste tons of money on goods and services that they don’t need?

Lady Gaga breaks into John Lennon’s mausoleum, plays his white piano

Posted: 12 Jul 2010 06:31 AM PDT

Link: http://starcasm.net/archives/55487


From what I have learned from the Beatles Rock Band wikipedia app, was assassinated from the Beatles for being too buzzworthy, and his body is now being preserved in some mausoleum in hopes of harvesting his DNA one day to bring him back to life in order to compete in the current buzzosphere. Some call him ‘The Avey Tare of the Beatles.’ N e ways, Yoko Ono apparently ‘lives’ in his grave, making sure there are fresh cold cuts for his ghost body to eat.

Lady Gaga went to this underground tomb center, meeting with Yoko Ono and getting on the

Sean Lennon just tweeted this photo of Lady Gaga "belting" on 's famous at Yoko Ono's house.

Wonder if Lady Gaga could feel ’s ghost hands on her body, rubbing her supple ass breasts, tickling her clitoris with his ghost tongue, sabotaging her body with chillwaves of cummy vibes. Feel like she probably had a ‘chill ass vintage jam sesh’, writing a new Beatles wave revivalist rock n roll song.

From what I understand, “Imagine” was one of the first emo / cutesy anthemic indie songs ever written.

Can’t believe Lady Gaga memefied this piano.
Was honestly waiting for to come back to life to see how he could ‘make it’ in the modern indiesphere.
Don’t really think the Beatles could have made it in 2k10.
Did Lady Gaga ruin this ‘iconic’ piano?
Do u wish u could have seen a porno movie where Yoko Ono ‘bangs’ Lady GaGa with an African American strap on cock?
If was still alive, would he do honky ass performances in Vegas 2 make money?
Did Lady Gaga leave conceptual poop stains on this ?

M.I.A. gets 4.4 from Pitchfork–is her career ‘fucking over’?

Posted: 12 Jul 2010 06:02 AM PDT

Link: http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/14434-y/


M.I.A. is trying very hard to be ‘the most annoying female artist’ in the alt/mainstream music scene right now. She has some new album that came out called ///\\/\/{{}AYA\\////|||\, and it seems like Pitchfork predictably ‘panned it hard’, since it ‘not only sucked’, but also because it is ‘trendy to hate M.I.A.’ Pitchfork was initially hired to be part of M.I.A.’s album launch by letting her take over their twitter [link], but ‘panning’ her album was a measure that absolutely ‘had to be taken’ to distance their web brand from their brand since she is such a human/artistic liability. Pitchfork historians claim that the M.I.A. co-branding was one of the ‘most questionable editorial + advertorial decisions of all time.’ Shatting down upon M.I.A. restores a sense of balance to their editorial voice.

M.I.A. has possibly ‘always sucked’, but more likely ‘overachieved with one or two good songs and then let blog/mainstream rap fame get to her head because she wore some zany pregnant lady dress to the Grammys.’ It seems like the blogosphere is now euthanizing M.I.A., ‘putting her out of her own misery’ so no1 has to listen to her any more. Not even sure who her audience is/was.

Every year, the collective criticism sphere must ‘turn their backs’ on one formerly worshiped buzzband / ‘respected’ artist, just to make it seem like they aren’t just giving every1 a free pass 4 the rest of their lives’. Many experts thought MGMT would be the band that got ‘panned’, but it is was safer to ‘pan’ M.I.A., since hating her can get u mad hits. Kinda has made it hard to ‘authentically shit on’ M.I.A., since every1 is just trying to write the ‘next great shit piece’ about how shitty M.I.A. is as a musician, a mother, an activist, and simply… as a human being. Feel like bloggers are basically trying to write columns like ‘An Open Letter to M.I.A.’s mother 35 years ago: Plz have an abortion so that ur daughter was never born’ or maybe ‘A List of 100 Ways to Stage a Public Humiliation Sex Death of M.I.A. #NSFW.”

What is a solid anti-MIA article headline that u would write?

N e ways…
Not sure if this reviewer ‘authentically hates M.I.A.’ or if it is a rookie music writeblogger critic trying to make a name for himself in the blogisphere by ’shitting hard’ on this album/M.I.A.’s brand:

Without compelling tunes, the obnoxious public antics, dubious political messages, and thin voice that had grated on her naysayers have become impossible for even dedicated fans to ignore. It’s as if everything that was great about M.I.A. has been stripped from this music, leaving behind only the most alienating aspects of her art and public persona.

Seems obvi. Coulda just posted a picture of some feces and moved on, but I feel like maybe this review is an opportunity to ‘be remembered forever’ maybe.

Feel like a lot of people are trying to say that the Diplo produced songs on this album are ‘bright spots’ since he created “Paper Planes” but the review makes sure that you know the entire album sucks, and there are no good mp3s on the CD:

Regular collaborators Switch and Diplo are back, but their contributions are disappointing despite their previous chemistry with M.I.A. “Tell Me Why”, one of two songs with Diplo, aims in the general direction of the pop crossover success of “Paper Planes”, but the beat is limp, and the song is marred by a poor, heavily Auto-Tuned vocal performance.

Wonder if she is trying to be like Ke$ha by autotune rapping. Maybe she will release some ‘cum covered tittie pix’ to go mainstream viral.


Then the review basically says that this album is just to try to prove that she is ‘totes authentic’ after she married an heir who will be a billionaire when his dad dies:

It’s not exactly a surprise that M.I.A. would opt to create such an off-putting and anti-pop album at this point in her career. She may be reaching for an interesting and provocative style, but her motives seem to be defensive in nature– reasserting her artsy, agit-prop cred not long after breaking through to the mainstream and becoming engaged to the heir of the Bronfman liquor fortune.

Feel like maybe this album shoulda been a celebration of ‘gold digging’ instead of trying to distance her brand from it. Feel like I would be happy for any1 who found a way to ‘be rich’ without really having to do anything.

Sorta hope they get divorced and she ‘makes bank’, sorta like Elin Woods.

N e ways, M.I.A. got ‘fucking panned’, and a 4.4 in 2010 is sorta like a 2.0 most other years [via the great inflation of 2k10].

Is M.I.A.’s career over?
Is this the most public panning/lynching that P4k has ever done?
Should more buzzbands be euthanized by the blogosphere, instead of perpetuating shitty products of ‘once respected’ artists?
Is M.I.A. still relevant?
Can M.I.A. respond with an ‘eff u’ tweet to get bloggers talking?
How will M.I.A.’s album sell?
Did yall like this album, or should she move in a new direction and start a fuzz band like ?

2 mainstreamers have Facebook wall-2-wall convo about new buzzband named “Phoenix”

Posted: 11 Jul 2010 06:28 PM PDT


Facebook is a popular social network that 99% of people in the Western World utilize. After the World Cup in South Africa, more Africans will probably get on facebook/twitter just to be able to find out what is buzzing outside of their microvillages. The facebook web tool is something that u can use 2 talk with ur friends, tag photos, and even ’sext’ if u have mobile settings activated.

N e ways….It seems like 2 lamestreamers / mainstreamers on the facebook have started 2 use the tool to share kewl new buzzbands. In the following screen grab, u can see that one friend ‘recommends the kewl new band called Phoenix’ to another lamestreamer.

It seems like 1 friend tries to recommend songs, but the titles are ’so far out’ that the other mainstreamer gets confused.

Then the mainstreamer realizes ‘oh ya, heard all that shit on vh1.’

Then they both say they ‘listen to Phoenix when they wake up’ to start the day with positive buzzband vibes.

Seems like Phoenix is ‘the ultimate pop music’, with sounds that every1 can relate to, and a ‘French pop brand’ that every1 is programmed to think is ‘totally buzzworthy.’ Really just wish I could be a mainstreamer who was still ‘excited to hear new music’–feel like I have already ‘mastered’ the ‘art of the buzzband harvest’ and there aren’t many genuine thrills abt it any more. Just wish I had friends who were 0% ’self-aware’ and would talk about buzzbands with me on social nets.

Have u heard of Phoenix?
On a scale from 0 to 10, how mainstream is phoenix?
Should I started watching VH1 to learn about more kewl buzzbands?
Should I talk about buzzbands on facebook with my bffs?
Do yall find out about sweet recommendations on facebook by people who ‘post shit’ to their minifeed / wiki wall?
Do yall ever see any lame wall to wall convos on facebook about buzz bands and alt trends?