Thursday, July 8, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF


Best Coast and Vampire Weekend sign record deal with Converse, release blog mp3 content

Posted: 08 Jul 2010 01:24 PM PDT


Converse and other brands with huge marketing budgets doing the thing where they hire bloggable artists, then get them to make some MP3, then the brand gets to ‘release the MP3′ in order to get blog buzz from bloggy woggies. Not sure what to call these things, maybe just ‘brand record labels.’ I guess the concept is that if I ‘like these artists’, I will like their brand or something.

Converse threw ‘mad bank’ at Kid Cudi, Bethany Consentino of Best Coast, and Rostam Batmanglij from . Not sure who Kid Cudi is, but I think he is a ‘modern blipster rapper.’ Best Coast is probably supposed to appeal to indie females and blogbuzzbros. The bro is probably supposed to appeal to ‘mainstreamers’, mindie bros, and the homosexual community.

They threw down a sweet collab, and I guess the goal is to create the perfect ‘genre transcending’ mp3, one of the great mp3s in the history of the world.

Is this song ‘any good’ or is it just a buzzband pupu platter of an mp3?

Do we live in an era where fans are ‘genuinely excited’ about these types of collaborations sponsored by brands?
Do u resent bands for taking ‘mad bank’ from brands, or are u relieved that they are getting paid?
Which member of this collab deserved 2 get paid the most: Rostam bro or Kid Cooties?

I remember the last edition of this Converse gimmick with Julian Casablancas, Santogold, and Pharrell. Not sure if they released an ‘iconic mp3′ or if it was just a good lil ditty to put in a Converse commercial.

It seems like there always has to be 1 white man, 1 black man, and 1 female (race optional) in order to appeal to a wide set of demographics/get covered on a multitude of blogs.

Did this mp3 ‘kill it’?
Should Converse try to create a ‘good mp3′ instead of just doing pupu platters?
Does Converse need to advertise, or will people always just buy their shoes?
Do fans take these types of brand-released MP3s seriously?
Do u think Best Coast was difficult 2 work with because she was so blazed?
Should hire Best Coast to join their band for their next album to sell 2x as many records to female demographics?
Did Ezra Koenig ‘demand 2 much money’ to be a part of this collab?
R u sooo tired of brand record labels [via Mountain Dew, Levi's, etc]?
Do marketers need to come up with a ‘new gimmick’ 2 get us excited?
Are blogs ’slaves’ to certain artists, required 2 blog about them no matter what?
Would Pitchfork ‘best new music’ this shit, or would they just make it a ‘passing blog bit’?

LOCAL NEWS reports new trend: Tweens biting 1 another 4 blood bcuz of Twilight

Posted: 08 Jul 2010 11:41 AM PDT


Watch CBS News Videos Online
Twilight is a popular movie amonst tweens and teens. The movie is about a wolf bro and a vampire bro who ‘want to fuck’ the same normal chick, and make her part of their clan, forcing her to carry their baby. N e ways, the movie is so popular that teens are starting to ’suck eachother’s blood’ just to be like authentic vampires.

No matter where you watch, big screen or little, vampires are everywhere. The “Twilight” movies earn millions. “Trueblood” has a huge following. Even the “Vampire Diaries” are popular. And with the abundance of blood sucking entertainment many young people are living out what they see.

The newest craze is biting. The vampire fans are biting each other in a show of affection. But that can be a dangerous thing CBS News health correspondent Dr. Jennifer Ashton says the bites can cause serious infections.

N e ways, the segment is kinda boring/is all based on circumstantial evidence. They really should have interviewed a few tweens who love drinking blood, and go to local blood banks to ask for free samples. It was sort of a ‘mailed in’ local news piece that was ‘just good enough’ 2 go viral. The standard ‘interview teen’ —> shots of teens passing thru halls in high school —> interviewing ‘expect blogger’ —-> interviewing medical professional.

Here is another ‘crappy ass’ local news segment. The ‘news journalist’ does some hard hitting work, and travels to a local movie theatre to interview teens and their parents: the ultimate source of truth.

Might get a job as a local news producer with the goal of covering odd social high school niches, just so that we can go viral and ’save’ our local news station.

N e ways, the trend probably isn’t even ‘that real’ and the authentic vampire bros were probably sucking blood way before Twilight. I have heard that authentic Vampire bros started 2 suck blood right after ‘The Lost Boys.’

Really feel like the ‘wolf tweens’ [link] were the best ‘profile piece’ of an emerging stupid teen trend/subculture. You really got a dynamic view of their ‘way of life.’

IF u were tweens, would u be wolves or vampires?
Are local news segments intended 2 scare old people the best content in the history of humanity?
Should I just pick up a copy of the Twilight Soundtrack, murder some1, and drink all of the blood in their body?
Is blood more refreshing than water/beer/Sparks/milk?
Do u think teens really ‘bite eachother’ or is this ‘fucking bullshit’?

UNCONFIRMED RUMOR: WAVVES is planning a 3D tour directed by James Cameron

Posted: 08 Jul 2010 07:12 AM PDT


Just saw this picture that @Best Coast tweeted of her boyfriend . It seems like is wearing some ’sweet ass’ glasses, possibly trying to beta test his upcoming tour, which may or may not be in . After Avatar, it seems like every movie is going 2 be in , but now, there is a demand to make the music industry three dimensional. Feel like making lofi indie shows ‘’ might not be a good investment, but maybe there is some huge corporation like Microsoft Kin, Intels Inside, or Sierra Mist throwing ‘huge money’ behind a buzzband for them 2 make a show.

Feel like maybe this report is ‘completely pulled out of my ass’ and it is possible that is just ‘mad blazed’ and chilling out poolside Fourth of July style, getting baked, eating food, being alt, listening to buzztunes, possibly filming a ‘poolside sex tape’ Tommy Lee + Pam Anderson style. Would honestly rather see a sex tape than a buzzband show anyways.

Kinda hope there is a sex tape soon….
Can James Cameron ‘recapture the magic’ of Titanic / Avatar?

Is James Cameron the ultimate ‘far out, blazed bro’?

Do yall think will be ‘an indie sensation’?
Will AnCo go ?
Which indie band will be the first ass hole band to ‘release a music video’?
How will they distribute the glasses 4 me to watch on my laptop?
Is the future of art/music/cinema?
How will HTML5 impact the future of on the web?
Do u wish u could get mad blazed with WAVVCOAST?
Has ’s career ‘peaked’ or will there still be demand for his memes in 2 years?

Diplo calls M.I.A.’s album a ‘piece of shit’ / ‘turd’

Posted: 08 Jul 2010 06:08 AM PDT


Diplo is a popular DJ who used to ‘bang’ M.I.A. before she ‘went gold digga’ and married some billionaire’s son. Diplo apparently produced one of two tracks on M.I.A.’s new album “/\/\/\\|/\|/\Y/\/\/\\/\”, but he went on twitter and was talking with random bros, then went ahead and said that her album was basically a ‘huge piece of shit.’

He seems chill to be ‘honest’ in a world where all indie artists and DJs are ‘just trying to be butt buddies.’

Honestly haven’t listened to the new album, but feel like it is more than likely ‘a huge piece of shit.’

I wonder what kind of turd Diplo thinks the album really is
a) a drop of turd, like a pellet
b) a long log of turd
c) a small nub of turd
d) a pile of turd(s)
e) a little soft serve swirl of turd
f) runny diarrhea turds sitting in liquid shit
g) Choose ur own turd style

Most importantly, the popular reviews site Pitchfork ‘ran this as a story’, making it clear that they have no interest in pretending that this is a good album. This has to be ‘paving the way’ for an underwhelming review. Many hoped that Pitchfork would ‘pan’ MGMT’s Congratulations, but some have hope that they will turn MIA’s album in2 the scapegoat of 2k10, giving it a sub-5.0 score. Some claim that Pitchfork ‘must’ pan MIA’s album in order to distance themselves from her brand after they let her use their twitter account [link].

(Note: It is in every website’s best interest to ‘pan’ the album, since negative M.I.A. press can account for massive traffic boosts.)

Is M.I.A.’s album ‘a piece of shit’?
Is M.I.A. a human turd?
When M.I.A. talks, do turds fall out of her mouth?
Is Diplo a ‘chill ass bro’ or a ‘bitter Ex BF’?
Did Diplo ‘hit it and quit it’ when M.I.A.’s stock was high?
Will Diplo write a ‘tell all’ book about M.I.A.?
Are yall on #TeamDiplo or #Team_M_I_A_?
Is Diplo part of a ‘marketing plan’ for M.I.A., or does he genuinely think that the album ‘mad sux’?
What will Pitchfork give M.I.A.’s album?
Can M.I.A. have an ‘awesome public meltdown’ as her album is crucified/lynched?

Photos of Ke$ha covered in cum + semen are ‘leaked’

Posted: 07 Jul 2010 05:36 PM PDT


Ke$ha is a terrible autotune rapper/singer/indie songstress who is trying to be ‘marketed’ in the post-Lady Gaga niche. Just the whole genre of artsy and slutty females who write pop songs, then try to market themselves as trying to be ‘in touch’ with their status as sex icons, trying to empower women using sex, but actually just being sluttier sluts than ever.  Not really good role models for young women.

Feel like there is a ‘huge battle’ going on right now between Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Ke$ha for the ‘#1 modern slut in music’, and I feel like these photos of Ke$ha covered in cum have to put her into the lead as the #1 female in music. I think this will help her to appeal to bros. Men seen so many cell phone nude pix of girls that it is difficult to get ‘turned on’ by a simple nude. This picture with cum / semen on Ke$ha will definitely make men ‘take another look’ at Ke$ha.

Feel like ‘cum pix’ are the new ’sex tapes’ in this decade.

Do yall like to cum in women or on women?
Is it enough for u to cum on some1, or do u like to take pictures of ur cum pool on a female’s body?
If u take a picture of ur cum on another human being, do u own their soul?
Will cumming on women and taking a picture of it emerge as the new ‘bros icing bros’?

Not sure how I feel about Ke$ha’s looks, but I feel like she is a top tier slut who loves to be cummed on.
Sorta get creeped out though, like I just came on Jon Travolta.

Do the perfect alternative breasts have cum on them?
Who is the number 1 slut /skank / pop icon in music?
Should Lady Gaga make an outfit out of semen?
Is it ‘empowering’ to cum on a woman?
Do women like 2 be ejaculated upon?
Is ejaculating on a woman ‘the ultimate sign of love/possession’?
Who is DJ Stolen?
Do u think this is really Ke$ha?
Is this the cover art for an upcoming conceptual EP?

Who is ur favourite slut/skank/female in music?
Can u think of a slutty cum-based/bukkake based gimmick for another female indie artist to use as a marketing tool?