Wednesday, June 16, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Chillwave Tween Celebrity Demi Lovato shows off chill bikini bod at chill beach

Posted: 16 Jun 2010 04:10 PM PDT

Via: http://www.thesuperficial.com/demi-lovato-in-a-bikini-2-06-2010


Demi Lovato is some Disney tween pop star, but she formerly endorsed the buzzband Neon Indian in a tweet [link], earning her the status as ‘the first lady of .’ She also dated 1 of the Jonas Brothers [link], and they evolved into ‘’s Premiere Tween Couple’, turning tons of tweens on to the wonders of .

Sorta just admiring her in the ocean. Her body seems to be riding chillwaves, evolving into a ‘woman’, becoming less of a tween. Happy for her. Glad she can just bathe in the ocean, knowing what it means to ride chillwaves, instead of just being another mainstream slut in the ocean showing off her curves.

Apparently she is ‘17 years old’, but turns 18 in 6 months. Sorta seems ‘barely legal’, but I guess u can blame her parents for not making her swim in a baggy t-shirt just because they want her 2 ‘fit in’ with other young slutty pop stars.

Do yall hope Demi Lovato is the next Solange, and tries to pull a ‘reverse crossover’ to get in on some indie action’?
Is Demi Lovato hotter than Miley Cyrus?
Is Joe Jonas gay?
Do u wanna ride chillwaves with her and mentor her on how to be an auth alt?
Do yall like ‘barely illegal’ borderline tween bathing suit pix?
Will Miley Cyrus always be the #1 tween slut in the world?

CHILLWAVE OIL SPILL: When Natural and Man-Made Forces Collide To Form an Indie Disaster

Posted: 16 Jun 2010 01:22 PM PDT


Every morning, I walk out on to the beach and dig my toes into the sand. The sand feels fragile, malleable–as if I could shape the entire coast line into any desired land formation by myself. The waters are calm and blue. I put on my waterproof iPod and go for a swim in the chill waves of the ocean.

It’s important for me to do this every morning because it keeps me in touch with Mother Indie (the sister of Mother Earth), who is responsible for creating the indiesphere’s natural wonders. We live in such a jaded post-blog era, where we would like to theorize that all organic buzz is manufactured by man-made forces. People try to be cutting edge by saying that websites, blogs, PR agents, record labels and other man-made companies are the forces that control the indiesphere.

But they don’t realize that there is something ‘organic’ about at the heart of the indiesphere. They don’t honor Mother Indie as the lady who bestows indie gifts upon us–mp3s, zany album art, music videos, and other buzzband related memes.

“Authentic buzz is organic. U can’t create man made buzz–true alts will see thru it.”
-Mother indie

Mother Indie is the natural force that creates buzzbands. She keeps the waters chill, waves crashing against the coast in a powerful, yet chill manner. She governs the natural processes of the album lifecycle. She has a direct relationship with Jimmy Fallon that keeps him in touch with the internet indie zeitgeist and helps him to book relevant buzzbands on his show. Mother Indie is the chil force behind everything beautiful and relevant in the buzzosphere. These ugly incidents in the buzzosphere are usually the result of human error and misguided judgment + action.

There are natural laws which guide the indiesphere. No one band, genre, website, blog, or any other buzz entity has more power than Mother Indie. A circle of memes has been created in the buzzosphere, and all participants in this beautiful process have a natural life & a natural death.

As consumers, we try so hard to ‘manage our personal brands’, and make educated decisions about relevant bands. We try to predict trends. We do our best to invest in buzzbands before they are mainstream bands. We ask ‘Why?’ We feel entitled to know ‘How?’ When a buzzband ‘breaks thru’, we want to understand the flow of data + information from band –> blog –> consumer, and how that creates a sustainable business model.

We need to stop asking ‘why?’ and learn to trust Mother Indie again. There is no explanation for the natural wonders of the buzzosphere.

So many snark critics accuse high level alts of being ‘trend hopping mother fuckers’, but they don’t understand that the true authentic alt is in touch with Mother Indie. While an outsider sees some1 who is constantly evolving, searching for new sounds, mp3s, and aesthetics, they don’t realize that Mother Indie is the one guiding us on our quest for authenticity. We aren’t just regular consumers, there is a spirit guiding everything that we do.

“AltLife is more than just collecting mp3s.”
-Mother Indie

Sometimes I wonder how man-made forces can ‘contaminate’ our alt blog world. I feel like sometimes bands are ‘forced down our throats’, getting ‘buzz status’ when their music isn’t even ‘that good.’ These man-made bands have numerous detrimental effects on our buzzosphere. The voice of the tastemaker is weakened. Our festival lineups are weakened. The 2nd and 3rd tiers of indie music fans are left ‘confused’, accidentally purchasing these albums because they trust indie websites.

Buzz pollution caused by man-made buzz is going to thaw our chill ass o-zone layer, exposing us to many hardcore rays from the sun, eventually ending the buzzosphere as we know it. Some could say that this is ‘natural’, but it is not up to one man, one blog, one band to decide the fate of the indiesphere. We can preserve our ecosystem as long as we’d like it to exist, but I worry. I worry that our time might be nearing, and our buzzosystem will begin to die.

Mother Indie is responsible for so many natural indie wonders.

Sometimes new genres are created. Some ‘make it.’ Others die as soon as they were created. We must trust in Mother Indie, knowing that she lets the ‘culturally relevant genres’ last forever.

Blogs come and go.
MP3s accumulate on your computer/iPod just to be lost in a hard drive crash/spill in2 water.
Buzzbands go into hibernation every 1 year.
Consumers are inspired to share their fave buzzbands with groups of their closest friends.

“Remix others as you would like to be remixed.” -Mother Indie

It seems like there are a lot of questions about the origination of ‘.’ Is a ‘man-made’ phenomenon, or is there something organic about it, created by Mother Indie? Were buzzbands created by man-made forces, or were they gifts provided by Mother Indie?

Some say that is a ‘bullshit blog microtrend.’ Others have invested their hearts in it, and have disconnected from the core spirit of ‘indie rock.’ Critics are so divided right now, unsure what is ‘real’ and what is ‘bullshit.’ There is always a desire to ‘move on.’ It is natural to try to find security in what we once cherished (the Arcade Fire, Panda Bear, etc), but we can’t be afraid any more. We can’t be afraid of the unknown. We can’t live each day on edge, praying for a new buzzband to provide us with some relevant MP3s.

We have to trust. We have to trust in Mother Indie.
Or else buzzbands will get soaked in oil, unable to move/evolve. We will all die.

I feel scared. I feel like some1 is going to cause an oil spill into chill waters. It will be some sort of ‘man-made’ force, trying too hard to create a new trend/band. Maybe a blog oil spill, leaking an album before it is in high quality format. Maybe a mainstream indie band buzz tanker will ’spill’, contaminating the chill waters. Maybe a business that is ‘trying too hard’ to reach alts will cause a Mountain Dew/soda/liquor/oil spill.

So much 2 clean up.

So much pressure to ‘evolve’, for music to ‘move forward’ and find a new aesthetic/trend to rally behind.
But maybe Mother Indie just isn’t ready for that yet. She knows what she is doing. Bands, trends, genres will all die one day. But man made pollutants / unchill vibes might prematurely end what we have.

R u gonna be a part of the solution, chilling in harmony with Mother Indie?
Or are you part of the man-made indie machine?

Just want to chill
avoid man-made indie pollutants
Utopian style chill
where all buzz is organic + authentic

It’s time to start cleaning up the blogosphere

It’s time to start letting Mother Indie do her thing.

Have u ever been touched by Mother Indie?
Remember that time you felt goosebumps when you saw a buzzband at a music festival as the sun was setting? Mother Indie made that possible.
Do u remember the time you made out with the band member from _______? Mother Indie was your invisible wing man.
Do u remember that time you clicked on a link accidentally, but you found a really sweet buzzband? Mother Indie’s hand was on your mouse.
Do u remember when you wasted 2-5 years of your life reading indie music blogs? Mother Indie wants you to know that you weren’t wasting time–you were broing down with her.

Tomorrow morning, I’ll start my day like I start most days. I’ll take a walk out of my Brooklyn-based duplex apartment, thru the conceptual forest, down to the beach, and soak in the chillwaves. Tomorrow will be different though. Because today I realized that Mother Indie is under siege from man-made evils.

Mother Indie is more than just a connected wired + wireless network. Mother Indie is more than just data encoded in an mp3 file. Mother Indie is everything & nothing.

What man-made indie disasters are ruining the blogosphere?
What one website/indie band thinks they are bigger than Mother Indie?
Is a ‘bullshit trend’, or is it one of Mother Indie’s many gifts?
R u worried about a metaphorical oil spill?
Who is the BP of the indiesphere?
Can Kevin Costner save buzzbands?
Do u believe in Mother Indie, or is the buzzosphere just an incubated network of websites + PR agents + record labels?

Some bro does a conceptual cover of Panda Bear in a local coffee shop

Posted: 16 Jun 2010 09:19 AM PDT


’s upcoming album TOMBOY is one of the most anticipated releases of the decade. Until the album cycle starts, we are all ’stuck with our thumbs up our asses’, forced to talk ourselves back into Arcade Fire. Sorta trying to get back into the vibe, getting used to his solo stuff again so that I can ‘rinse my mind’ from my AnCo centric perspective.

In the embedded video, a conceptual 1 man band bro does an authentic cover of “Comfy in Nautica” by . It seems like he ‘kills it’, nailing all of the textures + haunting echoes of the traditional set. Not sure if he uses the same technology as Noah Lennox, but Pandy better ‘watch his back.’ Seems like there are a bunch of new post-chillwavers ‘coming 4 the title’ of the next great Jr.

Do u dig this cover?
Do u think it sounds better than the real ?
Is “Comfy in Nautica” ’s best song?
Is this bro a ‘band 2 watch’ in 2k14?
R u pumped about Tomboy?
Will Tomboy ‘kick the Arcade Fire’s ass’?
Is the summer of 2k10 ‘the ultimate buzz drought’?

DJ Mom Jeans gets a gig. Is he still relevant?

Posted: 16 Jun 2010 07:02 AM PDT

Photo by the cobrasnake

DJ Mom Jeans is the rap alias of the Los Angeles based DJ and Actor named “Danny Masterson.” It seemed like his DJ career was ‘thriving’ in the early days of blog house, back when ‘celebrity DJs’ were mad alt, and club owners paid top dollar to get any1 mildly famous into their club. Not sure if his career is still ‘thriving’ or if he is just not really into DJing any more. Maybe he started 2 focus on his acting career.

Not even sure. Worried 4 him. Worried that the LA scene ‘evolved past him’ or something. Feel like maybe young Mexican alts don’t really identify with his brand. Maybe they are all more in2 raving + listening 2 Brokencyyde.

Is DJ Mom Jeans still relevant?
Do u think he drops ‘electro bangers’, ‘house house’, or ‘chillwave waves’ in his sets?
Will DJ Mom Jeans put together a release to save 2k10?
Will DJ Mom Jeans stage ‘the biggest comeback’ of 2k10?
Is DJ Mom Jeans the most progressive DJ name of the 2000s?
Do yall miss the DJ Mom Jeans era?

XX BONUS VINTAGE MOM JEANS FLYER XX

DOUBLE BONUS

(miss u days of electro flyers that all looked the same)

Pitchfork gives rapper “Drake” a controversial 8.4, sparks riot in NYC

Posted: 16 Jun 2010 06:02 AM PDT

Link: http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/14367-thank-me-later/


Drake is some ‘new rapper who is evolving in2 one of the game’s heavy hitters’ [via people who call the rap genre 'the game']. He is a ‘new, young hussla’ [via rappers who call rappers 'hustlers']. There is no doubt that he will go all the way to the top, but not forget his roots [via rappers celebrating their rise, but never forgetting their roots and rapping about it]. He is also loved by the ladies [via rappers rapping about how many women they have boned and how big their butts are].

N e ways, some bro named Drake got an 8.4 from the popular music magazine Pitchfork Media. It seems ‘controversial’ since Pitchfork is an indie music website, but they gave a non-indie artist such a high score. Sorta feel betrayed, but maybe they are going after African American hits instead of the ‘boring ass white man hits.’

It seemed like Drake scheduled some sort of ‘victory concert’ for his critical acclaim, but then it backfired, because all of his fans thought his album was ‘perfect’, and he should have had a 10.0.

Not sure why the riot happened. Maybe every1 just thought they were gonna get free Dippin Dots, but then they ran out.

It seems like people were having tons of ‘relevant discussions’ on the commercial + critical success of Drake. Then they all got angry and went ‘wild n out’ on 1 another.

Wonder why he got such a high score.
If u look at his ‘liner’, you can see that he thanked a bunch of indie bands, including Grizzly Bear, the XX, Neon Indian, Feist, Passion Pit, Diplo, Phoenix, and LeBron James.

Click to enlarge


Seems like the new ‘popular brand’ of rapper is ‘a blipster who listens 2 all kinds of music, particularly indie buzz music.’

Feel like maybe they are all ripping off Jay-Z, or maybe indie music is a genuine inspiration to these rapper bros. Sorta wish I could become a blipster, then evolve into 1 of the greatest blipster rappers of our generation, not just based on my beats + lyrics, but mainly based on my indie music recommendations.

Maybe P4k gave him a high score because he supports the indie scene. Wonder if mainstream rappers supporting the ‘indie scene’ help the indie scene, or if they are just hurting ‘us’ by making our tunes more inauthentic. It makes sense that indie music appeals to the college bro demographic, but unsure as to how I’d feel if indie concerts get ‘thugged out’ [via dangerous black ppl].

Does DRAKE deserve an 8.4?
Would u ever riot over a Pitchfork score?
Does n e 1 know who Drake is/what he sounds like?
Do rappers deserve better scores than white indie artists? Is p4k hurting ‘our scene’/the indie/chillwave brand when they give non-indie bands such high sores?
Is Drake a chill bro who rides chillwaves, or is he just ‘hijacking our culture’?
Scared and worried. Not even sure what is happening. Never even heard this bro’s music, but now he got a high score + incited a racial riot. Seems to have more ‘pull’ than the traditional indie artist.