Friday, May 21, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Pitchfork Founder Ryan Schreiber launches DJ career under moniker ‘DJ RAVVES’

Posted: 21 May 2010 08:10 AM PDT

More Photos at Brooklyn Vegans
photos by Erez Avissar and Christopher Person


In an effort to diversify his brand after being named one of Time Magazine’s Most Influential People [link], the founder and CEO of , Ryan Schreiber has ‘launched’ his career. It seems like his plan is probably to ‘use his platform’ to steal the jobs/bookings of pre-existing DJs. He will promise ‘mad coverage’ to every venue and festival that books him utilizing the platform.

Do u think this means he stopped writing his Pitchfork blog? Will Pitchfork soon hire a staff of contributing writers?

Wonder if his name “RAVVES” is a reference to the fallen buzzband Wavves. Not sure if Wavves will ever come back, but feel like now that Pitchforkbro ‘decided that Ravves is the future’, Wavves is gonna have a super hard time bouncing back.

Is RAVVES the new Justice / Steve Aoki / Tiesto / Paul Oakenfold?
Will RAVVES be the ‘most booked’ of 2k10?
Is RAVVES more authentic than the iPad because of his knowledge of indie history?
First Gorilla Vs Bear launches a record label [link], now P4k is DJing…
which website blog is next to ‘diversify’ their products + services?
Will Hypemachine be acquired by iTunes?
Will HIPSTER RUNOFFS release his ‘highly anticipated debut EP’?
Will Rolling Stone Magazine start selling life insurance?
Will twitter add a photo tagging system?
Will facebook add a video chat roulette service?
Will Pitchfork start a record label?
Will HIPSTER RUNOFF start a euthanasia clinic?
Will HIPSTER RUNOFF start a tween counseling & wolfpack suicide hotline?
Will blog start a meme?
Will ‘the chillwave genre’ start a new post-genre?
Will _________________ start a _______________?

Jay-Z has dinner with a Russian Billionaire, seems disinterested in indie buzzbands

Posted: 21 May 2010 06:44 AM PDT

Link: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/nyets_tycoon_meets_local_royalty_AAwHTKIcpE51W6dXh0N6tJ


Jay-Z is famous for ‘being super into’ indie buzzbands such as Grizzly Bear, the XX, the Dirty Projectors, and Justice. Recently, it seems like he has ‘turned his back’ on the indie community. He went to a baseball game with Eminem [link], and seemed ‘totally disinterested’ in developing his indie credibility.

Now he ate dinner with some Russian Billionaire and the mayor of New York, and it was apparent that ‘buzzbands’ were probably the last thing on his mind. No way he even recommended a cool band, or even talked about the best indie albums of 2k9 and 2k10. Feel like he misled us, like he was going to be ‘the bro who brought indie to the mainstream’ but maybe he won’t be that person.

Seems like the only buzzhuman he cares about is LeBron James.

Multibillionaire and newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov convened a meeting of his peers yesterday morning — breaking bread with partner Jay-Z and Mayor Bloomberg at a gathering whose net worth is larger than the economies of more than a few small nations. The basketball-loving Russian oligarch was in town to kick the tires on his new investment — an 85 percent stake in the moribund team — and to officially declare himself a part of the New York firmament. "I asked the mayor if he was interested in coaching the team, and he's thinking really seriously about it," Prokhorov, 45, joked later. The 6-foot-7 mining tycoon said he had met Jay-Z — who is a minority shareholder — twice before, and felt "lucky" to be working with him. "Despite the fact that I am very far from the rap music, we have a lot in common . . . I share his passion for Brooklyn," Prokhorov said.

Feel sad to think about how rich Jay-Z is, and how he is giving so little back to the indie buzzband circuit. He seems like ‘the deadbeat dad’ of indie buzzbands. He will come around every now and then, give you a $20 bill to make you forget how long he’s been gone for, but eventually he just turns his back on u, and u feel pain knowing that he is more interested in mainstream success than anything else.

h8 all these bros for being so rich, and not even investing in the indie community. There’s tons of buzzbands that need gear, tour consultation services, and custom myspace layout design work, and all these capitalists care about it making money.

Tired of Jay-Z ‘being all alt’, but then focusing on being rich + mainstream.

Do u feel ‘betrayed’ by Jay-Z?
Any time he does something other than watch buzzbands, should we be disappointed in him?
Will LeBron James sign an illegal contract with the Russian Billionaire?
Where will LeBron James end up?
Do u think the Russian Billionaire bro had even seen a black person before he bought an NBA team?

New subculture emerges in suburban high schools, instead of being emo, lost tweens pretend they are wolves

Posted: 21 May 2010 06:02 AM PDT

Link: http://www.kens5.com/news/local/Teen-wolves-in-San-Antonio-94015234.html
Video may not play in ur RSS reader


Apparently ‘every1 needs to fit in during high school’, but a group of extremely troubled rejects ‘took it too far’ and formed a wolfpack. They honestly believe that they are wolves, but they still do tweeny things like going to high school and hanging out at the mall. It seems like they also have to get a lot of accessories at Hot Topic / Bass Pro Shops / Outdoor Worlds / killing animals with pellet guns in order to make sure that their wolf personal brands are authentically wolf.

I guess ‘Twilight’ is responsible for this type of ‘bullshit’ since it gave impressionable tweens reasons to think they are vampires and wolves. Feel worried that if my family settles down in suburbia, my kids will be forced to ‘deal with this type of absurd shit.’ Not sure if I want to risk my son or daughter ‘becoming a wolf.’ Would honestly get them a $1000 gift card to abercrombie/hollister/Am Eaggy just so they’d go mainstream.

What were u like in high school? Jock? Nerd? Zany alt? Did u just take AP classes? Were u emo?
Are you going to keep your kids out of public school when u grow up and have kids?

Are wolfpack tweens ‘the same as any other high school group’?

His friend Katze Lupus Burn added, “We’re not a gang at all. Gangs are like posers. They just want attention, that’s why they go along tagging stuff. The pack? We’re a family. We go to each other for our problems.”

Feel like not every1 deserves a sense of belonging so that wolfpacks don’t exist. I feel like 50-90% of people ‘deserve to fit in’ but maybe Hot Topic just preys on the other ~10%. The emos, the juggalos, the wolf people, the ravers, the hardcore bros, and what ever other weird people shop there to buy weird personal branding accessories.

Should I buy a dog collar or is there a special ‘utility collar’ that I have to buy at Petco?

Honestly just hope these kids make decent grades so that they aren’t 30 years old, living in an apartment with a wolf partner, and raising wolf kids.

Are wolf tweens ‘trying 2 hard’?
Are wolf tweens ‘the new juggalos’?

“We’re not trying to be intimidating, we’re not trying to be menacing. We’re just trying to live our daily lives and hang out. You know? We’re teenagers and we just want to have fun.”

And they gather attention, too. One of the wolf pack, whom many consider the “alpha dog,” received some international acclaim when a neighbor’s dog went missing, only to have its skull found in the possession of 18-year old, Wolfie Blackheart. It created a firestorm on the internet, and was San Antonio’s first glimpse into the world of these transformed teens.

Just youtube searched “Wolfie Blackheart.’ Seems like she is a controversial animal rights / human-wolf rights meme.

“I’d be more likely to hurt a human than a dog.”
-Wolfie Blackheart, 2k10

Her room seems like she is ‘all wolfed out’ [via wearing harness]

Seems like she can ‘really talk to animals’

‘You know your parents don’t love you when you have a mattress without a sheet on the ground.’

This is her after she probably killed a deer with her mouth and ate it.

Just wanna know where I can buy a wolf sword

I wonder if these wolves are just ‘human after all’, sorta like a retarded spirit animal from Fight club or something:

“I don’t believe anyone is just human. Everyone’s got something else mixed in with them. They just have to look inside themselves and find out what it is.”

Dei’s got his own leash he wears. His mom has a leash on him to: Pam Manley keeps Dei tethered to family, his chores and his studies.

“As soon as he walks in the door, he is supposed to take out the fangs, lose the lenses and put his hair back,” Manley said. “They’re good kids. And it takes some courage to stand up and be who you want to be and be able to express yourself in this way.”

I honestly feel scared of these kids. Sorta vibing hard to Wolfie Blackheart, like she really ‘understands’ the true meaning of post-alt to the point that she believes she is a wolf. So well spoken, believe she will evolve into an animal way more advance than a wolf.

What do you do if you are raising a son who thinks he is a wolf?

Do u just tell him to ‘man up’ and ’stop being a fucking wolf’?
Do you call the high school and tell them to put him in special education?
Do you utilize his wolf powers and make him hunt for food every day?
Or are you like ‘oh it’s just a phase. This is healthy for him to make some new friends.’
If you are a wolf tween, and your friends come over for dinner, does ur mom have to serve the meat raw?

h8 wolf tweens

Should youtube and myspace be shut down so these subcultures don’t have a place to communicate / enable growth?
What is society supposed to do about people like this?
Have wolfpack tweens replaced juggalos as ‘the funniest subculture meme’ on the internet?

“#SaveWolfie” -youtube alt tweens

Will Wolfie Blackheart burn in hell for killing that dog?
Do all wolves go to hell?
Should I buy a new ironic wolf tshirt?
Is Wolfie Blackheart the new Zooey Deschanel?
Will wolfpacks eventually become the ‘mainstream’ culture in suburban high schools?
Who is to blame for the emergence of wolfpacks: Twilight, bad parenting, or parents who had sex with wolves and created a child?
Are you and your closest group of bros a wolfpack, or are you just a general animal collective?