Juggalos are sorta like the ultimate ‘poor, uneducated people meme.’ Since educated white people can’t make fun of poor, uneducated minorities on a regular basis, juggalos have emerged as the perfect punching bag for ‘people who we know we are better than.’ In this photo, a juggalo pours Faygo, a popular juggalo soda, all over the breasts of a juggalo female. These photographs are sure to ‘go viral’ because they embody the spirit of Juggalo that the entire internet loves to make fun of.
Are these truly the perfect alternative breasts? Would u want to drink faygo off the breasts of a juggalo? Does an authentic juggalo have faygo instead of breast milk?
Do u hope to go to an Insane Clown Posse concert before u die? Why does the internet <3 2 make fun of juggalos? Have u ever drank Faygo? Is horrorcore the new indie? Are these the most famous juggalo titties of all time? Do yall believe in Miracles?
Some performance artist named Marina Abramović is doing some sort of ‘art work’ at the Museum of Modern Art where she sits and stares at people all day. It is called The Artist is Present, and u r supposed to feel ‘deep and emotional’ looking into her soul [link to website]. The photos of every1 staring at her are uploaded to some flickr site. Tons of famous people and alt-looking New Yorkers have ’started 2 go see this live meme’ going down, probably to get press/feel more famous.
Bjork recently stopped by to get her stare on with this mopey old lady, and it seems like they had a meaningful telepathic conversation.
Marina Abramović: Sup sligga Bjork: Hey How r u Marina Abramović: What r u doing 2day? Bjork: nmh. how abt u? Marina Abramović: just gettin my stare on. Bjork: I really like what ur doing. u inspire me Marina Abramović: haha ditto. sometimes I jam 2 u on my iPod when I make art Bjork: O ya, which song do u like? Marina Abramović: Mainly the early stuff. Ur later stuff is inaccessible Bjork: Ya, I agree. Sorta just on cruise control now that my brand is established Marina Abramović: Ya, I am hoping this internet meme art piece puts me over the top with mainstream blog fame Bjork: so what do u like to do in ur spare time? Marina Abramović: just artsy shit Bjork: o that’s kewl. Marina Abramović: where did u grow up, anyways? Bjork: I am from Iceland. Marina Abramović: I have met many great people from Iceland. They have a truly creative spirit. Bjork: I’m really creative. I didn’t even go to school, I was raised by a collective of animals. Marina Abramović: Like the band? Bjork: No, like there were some wolves, a bear, some snow foxes, and some Icelandic llamas. We’d spend all day doing creative projects and writing music. Marina Abramović: That’s kewl. Bjork: There’s no such thing as ‘cool.’ Marina Abramović: Andy Warhol. Bjork: Who is that? Marina Abramović: He’s the guy who inspired Lady Gaga Bjork: Who is Lady Gaga? Marina Abramović: Isn’t that the singer that you are ripping off? She wears all this zany ass clothing Bjork: There is no one else on this earth like me. Marina Abramović: Why do u think my husband divorced me? Bjork: I dunno. U look kinda bitchy? Marina Abramović: What do u mean? I looked rugged and real. Bjork: I am just not sure I’d want to sit across from you for every meal. Marina Abramović: But I look so real. Bjork: I mean, it would just be hard to chill with you because you look like you want to cry and poop at the same time. Marina Abramović: I actually do wanna poop right now. Bjork: Do you wear a diaper during this performance piece? Marina Abramović: No, I wear thong underwear. Bjork: What happens when you have to poop? Marina Abramović: I just sorta go. Bjork: Did you poop today? Marina Abramović: Yes, I just pooped right now. Bjork: in your white futuristic gown thingy? Marina Abramović: Yes Bjork: You are sitting in your own feces? Marina Abramović: I would do anything for art. Bjork: Are you worried about getting a yeast infection [via fecal matter] inside of ur childbearing portal? Marina Abramović: I would do anything for my art Bjork: Listen, I’m kinda weird, I’m from Iceland and everything, but u really need to take care of urself. Marina Abramović: I hate your music Bjork: Listen, my music is usually sorta weird, but it isn’t as dumb as this ‘performance art.’ Marina Abramović: My face is the face of humanity. It will live on forever Bjork: Ya whatever. Marina Abramović: Some1 needs to teach u some goddamned respect. I don’t care if you were raised by Icelandic wolves Bjork: Not just wolves, but a collective of animals Marina Abramović: Have u heard Merriweather? Bjork: Post Pavvy? Marina Abramović: Obvi Bjork: Ya what about it Marina Abramović: Shit is real good, huh? Bjork: Duh. Went to their Guggenheim show. Those dudes straight tanked. Panda wanted nothing to do with it, so he boycotted Marina Abramović: Oh for real? Ya I noticed Deakin was chillin there, but not Noah bro. Bjork: Ya, AnCo stole a lot of songs from my real Animal Collective. They interned with our collective in the summer of 1995. Marina Abramović: What’s the deal with Sigur Ros. U know anything about them? Bjork: Nah. Dudes are straight up weird Marina Abramović: Ya. Figured. Jonsi seems like a cool, conceptual twink tho. Bjork: Ya. Not really a fag hag, tho. I am my own woman. I am the Bjork. Marina Abramović: Sooo… u gonna see MacGruber? Bjork: Yeah. Probs. I wasn’t into the SNL skit, but my daughter wants to fit in with her American classmates Marina Abramović: is it hard to raise a conceptual child in America? Bjork: It’s really hard. It is also difficult to make her eat healthy foods. Marina Abramović: What does she eat? Bjork: The usual. Pizza rolls. McDonalds. Pizza Hut wings. Bread bowls from Domino’s. Monzy sticks. Ice cream sundaes. Doritos. Mountain Dew. The usual stuff. Marina Abramović: I’m sorry to hear that. Bjork: No, she’s a good kid. I love her, I just hate America Marina Abramović: Same here. h8 cappytallism so bad Bjork: But I guess they are the only people who are ‘dumb enough’ to keep buying our art Marina Abramović: Ya. I mean, u gotta pay the bills somehow… lol Bjork: lol Marina Abramović: rotflmao Bjork: hehe Marina Abramović: sooo.. Bjork: u wanna meet my daughter? Marina Abramović: I’m afraid Bjork:here she is. Her name is Bjork Junior. Marina Abramović: Hello. I am Marina. I’m an artist Bjork Jr: sup yall Marina Abramović: how is ur day? Bjork Jr: kinda bummed out. Just wanted to play video games all day, but my mom made us come to this art shit. Not even sure what is happening Marina Abramović: Well just keep looking at me, then u’ll figure it out Bjork Jr: But ur just some old lady. U look like the lady who cleans our loft. Marina Abramović: I am the face of every1 Bjork Jr: Impossible. Ur talkin crazy Marina Abramović: U are a spoiled lil brat. Can’t u see that I have lived life, been thru hardships? Bjork Jr: I don’t rlly care what u’ve been thru. My parents are ‘fucking loaded’ and they said I am getting an Escalade for my 16th birthday Marina Abramović: You don’t need an SUV, not in the city Bjork Jr: I’m gonna cruise so hard Marina Abramović: I have never owned a car Bjork Jr: That’s prob cuz ur poor. My mom is rich Marina Abramović: h8 u. life isn’t just abt money Bjork Jr: We are gonna get Will Smith to play my Super Sweet 16 Marina Abramović: I really loved “Big Willy Style” Bjork Jr: Did u like Hancock? Indepedence Day? Marina Abramović: Nah. I was a bigger fan of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Personally, I am a huge Carlton fan Bjork Jr: I am too young for that old people shit. Marina Abramović: It’s good. U gotta check it out on Nick At Night Bjork Jr: Mom won’t let us have cable. She calls television ‘the poison box.’ Marina Abramović: But aren’t most TVs flat screens now? Bjork Jr: Ya. I dunno. She’s dumb Marina Abramović: I have a plasma screen Bjork Jr: I hear those have real trill ass picture Marina Abramović: Ya. Got Avatar on blu ray. Shit pops right of the screen Bjork Jr: Yeah, I saw it in 3d. Really dug it. Marina Abramović: Wish Will Smith was in it Bjork Jr: Ya. Woulda made more money, probably Marina Abramović: And Jeff Goldblum Bjork Jr: That bro killed it in Independence Day. AND Jurassic Park Marina Abramović: My next art project might be to build a Jurassic Park Bjork Jr: U got some dino DNA or what? Marina Abramović: No but I know some guy who can get me some for cheap Bjork Jr: That’s cool. Let me know when u sell tickets so my family can go. Marina Abramović: Aite Bjork Jr: Well I gotta go. Gonna go sit in the corner and play Nintendo DS Marina Abramović: I miss u. nice 2 meet u Bjork Jr: Same here. One last thing tho… Marina Abramović: What is it, Junior Bjork Jr: Can u tell my mom to get me a data plan? Marina Abramović: What kind of phone do u have? Bjork Jr: an iPhone 4g Marina Abramović: And u don’t have data? Bjork Jr: No Marina Abramović: Why not? Bjork Jr: Mom says that wireless internet can give u the chicken pox, or what she calls the Icelandic heeby jeebies Marina Abramović: Ya. I’ll talk to her about making the most of her investment. Bjork: Did yall talk about me? Marina Abramović: No Bjork: Well we gotta go. Marina Abramović: Can u get ur daughter a data plan for her phone? Bjork: No. Marina Abramović: Well, you really need to. she needs to connect to twitter Bjork: I’m hungry. Marina Abramović: What r u gonna eat Bjork: Probs gonna stop into chili’s Marina Abramović: I guess it’s true… All roads do lead to Chili’s. James Franco: Sup bitches. I’m mother effin lifted as hell. Pineappy Xpress Every1: Lolcats and memes! Poopoo in our panties. Is Bjork ‘chill’? Is this ‘performance art’ a ‘big pile of poop’? Do u wanna chill hard with Bjork Jr? Does bjork jr deserve a data plan? Do all roads lead to chilis?
I saw that Joanna Newsom was converted into a Simpsons character because the creator of the Simpsons, Matt Groening apparently ‘loves her shit.’ He probably chills hard to Joanna when he is doodling Bart Simpson tales. For some reason, he decided to draw Joanna Newsom chilling on a harp, then decided to give her a role as a ‘free spirited harp player.’
I am not sure if she really has a 3 episode arc, but I am guessing it has something to with a love triangle between Bart, Lisa, and Joanna. There will also probably be a ‘pregnancy scare’, then Homer Simpson will be like ‘Doh, yall!’ if they decide 2 get the abortion [via spoiler alert]. What do u think she will do in the Simpsons?
Does Joanna Newsom look ‘hotter’ in real life, or as a yellow person [via the Simpsons]? Should Joanna Newsom ‘get half naked’ in bathing suit pix instead of becoming Simpsonized? Is The Simpsons ’still relevant’? Is it more authentic to ‘get roasted’ by South Park? Should the Simpsons ‘end’ their cartoon, or will they stay relevant forever? Is Adult Swim authentic? Will the Napoleon Dynamite cartoon ‘do way better’ than the Simpsons because more people will related to Napoleon than they relate 2 Bart Simpson?
David Cross is a high level alt comedian who appeals to the creative/intellectual upperclass of America. Basically, he has a lot of ‘hate in his heart’ for regular ass Americans, and writes standup comedy that exists as a very ‘Us Versus Them’ type of rallying cry. He has a snarky delivery and he makes post-whimsical observations about our society, making him ‘more authentic’ than many mainstream comedians like the Dane Cookie and Jeff Dunham “the puppet bro.”
He apparently has a ‘new CD’ / ‘DVD’ coming out on the Subpop label. I guess he has enough ‘reach’ to alt markets to be on the same label as Nirvana and the postal service. In his new buzz mp3, there are a lot of aural textures and a natural build towards the climax of the song which leave you with a child like nostalgic feel in your tummy. Wonder if this will ‘chart’ in the top 10, making the standup core genre ‘more credible’ with mp3 purchasing fans.
Comedian and actor David Cross’s forthcoming comedy CD/DVD, Bigger and Blackerer, is out May 25 on Sub Pop.
Was the MP3 funny? Are people who drink Coors light ‘fucking retarded’? Do u like ‘feeling smarter’ than regular white Middle Americans? Is all standup comedy basically the same, but it is being delivered by different personal brands?
Is the album name ‘racist’ against black comedians who just talk about ‘being black’ all the time?
Is Aziz Ansari ‘funnier’ than David Cross because he is young, dark, and snarky in a ‘web viral video’ kind of way? Do u buy comedy DVDs/CDs, or do u just watch Comedy Central comedians? Can standupcomedywave ‘catch on’? Do u think Alvin and the Chipmunks will ‘collab’ with D Cross on this album? Is David Cross generally ‘funny’ due to his What will Pitchfork give this ‘alt comedian? Do they not understand how difficult it is to make a comedy album? When will comedians be taken seriously as human beings/artists? Is Coors Light the new post-ironic alt beer?
Apparently no1 is buying albums any more, and artists aren’t even really bothering 2 release new albums.
Combine the downward trend of album sales with a week of no major releases and what do you get? The fewest number of total album sales, 5.3 million, in a single week since Nielsen SoundScan started its tracking in 1991.
I am not sure what this means. I feel like you could either say ‘music is worse than ever’, or that ‘people just download music illegally now.’ Maybe people finally realize that ‘mainstream artists release crappy records that aren’t worth buying.’ I feel like the indie band chillwave buzzosphere is ’strong’, but I don’t always know how that translates into album sales. Older mainstream indie bands seem to have the most success.
I read that the indie band The National ‘charted’ at #2 with their debut. I think they are one of those generic guitar bands with a singer bro who has a deep voice.
The top new album was "High Violet" (4AD) from the National, selling 51,000 copies, good enough for No. 3. Other new releases in the top 10 were Dead Weather's "Sea of Cowards" ( Warner Bros. ), and Charice's self-titled album (Reprise). "The Oracle" (Universal Republic), by the metal band Godsmack, dropped from its top spot last week down to No. 9, with sales of 43,000, 63 percent less than the week before.
Feel confused about 2k10 being the year of ‘mainstream indie bands’ charting with their efforts, even when the albums are mediocre. Maybe the people buying the albums aren’t influenced by ‘reviews’ and just trust magazines that say everything is cool. I don’t really feel like ‘indie’ bands can outsell the most popular rock & hip hop acts, but it does feel like indie band fans have grown into middle aged professionals and are willing to buy songs for their iPhones in order to reconnect with their past. There seems to be a demographic of ‘wannabe indie bros/cool dads’ who don’t know how to download leaks for free.
Everytime u download a leak, are you taking a loaf of bread out of a band’s mouths? Why do u think ‘indie bands’ are charting so high now? Less mainstream competition? The rest of the world ‘finally understands indie music’? Do indie musicians have more marketing dollars than ever? Is it important to ’support indie bands’ so that they get more resources by selling tons of iTunes albums/digital singles? Is Middle America is starting to have ‘refined taste’? Are older indie bands forced to dumb down their sound in order to write an album for the entire country/world? Will MGMT’s flop make mainstreamers more reluctant to purchase indie band albums that are marketed down their throats? Whenever there is a headline about an indie band ‘coming in at #1-20 on the billboard charts’, should we take it with a ‘grain of salt’ because it really isn’t that hard to sell that many records if you are moderately covered by 40% of the biggest music blogs in the world?
Just read a news story, and feel like it might be ‘the end of the world.’ Apparently American Apparel is ‘going down the shitter’ financially. Not making very much money, not able to pay debts that they had 2 accrue in order to globally expand their brand:
On Wednesday, the company reported disappointing first-quarter preliminary results and said it expected problems with its debt, sending its shares plummeting 41% to its lowest price in more than a year. It also declined to provide a financial outlook for the year because of continued uncertainty about its business.
Do yall think this means Am Appy is gonna shut down? Is their brand ‘dying’? Did Am Appy expand into too many malls in suburbia where there aren’t enough alts who ‘get’ why u should pay $50 for a hoodie? Do u think they should just ‘go mainstream’ and get a huge deal with WalMart to sell American Made produces to real Americans?
Worried that Am Appy is gonna ‘go under’:
The company’s growing problems are leading some to speculate that the company could be a target for a takeover or bankruptcy filing, which the company had flirted with in late 2008.
“They might get somebody to come in and do a bottom-fishing bid,” said Tom Burnett, a mergers and acquisitions expert and director of research at Wall Street Access. “There’s always somebody willing to take a chance.”
Shares of American Apparel plummeted $1.11 to $1.63.
American Apparel also posted an operating loss of $17.6 million. That compared with an operating loss of $3.9 million in the first quarter of last year.
The company has struggled with reduced manufacturing efficiency at its production facilities after laying off 1,500 workers in September.
Those job cuts stemmed from a government inspection last year that found that hundreds of American Apparel workers didn’t appear to be authorized to work in the U.S. At the time, company executives said they didn’t anticipate any significant loss in productivity.
I don’t know much about business mumbo jumbo, but this doesn’t sound good. I feel like we might see ‘a shit load of changes’ at Am Appy. Less colors, less styles, less innovation. Less online ads. Less supermodels. Less legal workers, more illegals.
I feel like if I worked for a news magazine based website that generates listicles and photo gallery memes, I would probably write an article about it called “The Hipster Apocalypse”, making it seem like ‘hipsters would die’ if Am Appy died. The article would be a mix of snark, social commentary, and an exploration of business ethics. Would probably come up with a sensational thesis about ‘why Am Appy was destined to fail.’
Is Am Appy the fabric of our alternative lives? If Am Appy doesn’t ‘make it’, will that mean the mainstreamers have won? What would u do if Am Appy ‘went under’? Should I hoard tons of Am Appy merch for when it goes out of business, then becomes a rare commodity? Will I be able to sell my plain Am Appy shirts for ‘top dollar’ at my local buy-back-ing thrift store? What will u miss the most about Am Appy if/when it dies? Think I’ll miss the sexy ads. Def sprayed a lot of cum 2 those during my formative alt years, back when I was still learning what ‘real alt beauty’ was….
Please feel free to share ur business ideas to save Am Appy. Which stores should they shut down? Which styles should they discontinue? If they use your idea, they will probs send u a few t-shirts and a bag of scraps.
Miracle Whip has been trying for the past several years to ‘rebrand’ itself as a cool condiment that alternative people can use on their foods. Not sure if they are ‘trying to replace ketchup/salsa’ or something like that. It seems like they made a ‘new logo’ that breaks free from the limitations of font-based typography. Instead, they used an emotion-evoking scribble of mayo, similar to the way you zig zag a condiment on ur bread when you make a sandwich. It seems like this ‘raw’ branding decision is trying to appeal to the natural, animalistic human spirit, sorta like how humans used to have to communicate by ‘cave drawing.’
I remember the days when I used to vibe out hard to this commercial, thinking about sweet rooftop parties where me and my bros would eat tons of mayo, and use it as a mixer in our ‘vodka + mayo’ drinks.
I wonder if Miracle Whip is ‘the new Volkswagen.’ Maybe they can make a series of ‘hipster bashing’ commercials that get blog coverage.
It feels as if this happened yesterday, but almost a year ago, we reported on the redesign of the mayo-alternative, Miracle Whip, and its repositioning as the coolest spread in town. That deliciously retro design is now gone, in the blink of an eye, and in return we get a more gooey rendition of the name and something that resembles more what they had before the change last year. Despite the quick switcharoo, it’s nice to see that they still aimed for a certain simplicity and the new packaging is as minimal as you will find on the shelves; it’s actually quite striking with that big MW.
Do u think this new logo will help Miracle Whip to become as popular as Coca Cola? Do u use Miracle Whip? What is the most alt/authentic condiment? Is ‘ranch’ for white people?
