Sunday, May 16, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Have yall ever pissed ur pants at a relevant alt party / buzzband concert?

Posted: 16 May 2010 03:41 PM PDT

Photo by thecobrasnake


Sometimes I get excited and I don’t really know what do with myself. I will end up somewhere that I never thought I would end up in my alt-est dreams [via back when I was a 14 year old indie music fan], and I will just think, “Damn. Guess I made it. This is the life I have always dreamed I’d live.”  I will be overwhelmed.  I will piss my pants, not because I have a weak bladder, but because I have a great life.

It’s so weird how 1 day ur on the internet reading about a buzzband, and the next day you’re at a relevant Coachella pool party getting ur chill on with an alt celeb in-person. U end up in line for a free beverage behind one of them, and it is like, ‘damn. I am chilling hard with this bro. Even though he/she is usually in blog headlines, I am part of this culture, moreso than all of the other lonely losers on the internet.’

These moments where ‘the internet’ are overridden by a real life experience make me piss my pants. Maybe I have a weak bladder, but then again, maybe I have a super interesting life that inspires me to ‘wet myself’ with excitement. Peeing your pants is a mix of being speechless, nervous, excited, apprehensive, and overwhelmed. There is something more complex about peeing in ur pants than jizzing in ur pants [via bro humor]. Cumming in ur pants means that you are overcome by pleasure, leading to an orgasm.

Peeing in ur pants is a mix of emotions, sorta like a moment where u feel like “This is It…” [via the Strokes] in an accomplished/letdown kind of way. Moments where ‘real life’ seems surreal, because u never thought something so beautiful / relevant could happen to you.

What types of alternative events / milestones in ur life have inspired you to piss ur pants?

  • Sneaking into a music festival, and hearing the drone of music in the distance
  • Touching Uffie’s breast while she crowd surfs
  • Drinking from Steve Aoki’s Grey Goose bottle
  • running into Justice at a leather shop
  • Going on a spiritual retreat to the wilderness, running into , and making smores with him
  • Drinking the sweat of an XX sleeveless turtle neck from after their show
  • Buying a pet dog or cat, and having the animal tell u they are part of the
  • Experience an iPad DJ breakdown live
  • Running into a member of the Arcade Fire in a niche Canadian Coffee Shop
  • Being in charge of driving a relevant alt celeb to the venue for a concert
  • Hearing a buzzband’s live debut in New York City
  • Reading a mad crazy blog post with wicked good news about an album release
  • flying into an airport in New York City, looking at the skyline, and saying ‘this is my effing town, bitches.’
  • being photographed by a relevant party photographer
  • Reading a blog that drops sick ass mp3s / music news memes
  • Being in ‘the crowd’ on Jimmy Fallon behind a blog band
  • Being at the same Chili’s as James Murphy
  • Running into a cool dad alt celeb with his family at Disney World
  • Getting ‘piss drunk’ at SXSW
  • going to an indie concert, bumping into Jay-Z and Beyonce, then talking with them about buzzbands

I feel like a lot of people who ‘h8 alternative lifestyles’ don’t really understand how fulfilling this lifestyle can be. So many people call it some sort of ‘hollow form of consumerism’, but they don’t realize that we are real people, living real moments. We love bands, brands, gossip, and life, and sometimes all of these entities come together, there are truly beautiful ‘piss ur pants’ moments that u can’t really put into words.

I piss my pants when my life feels more meaningful than any1 else’s life
I get happy (to have the opportunity to live my life)
I get scared (that the moment will end)
I feel overwhelmed (that a similar moment will never happen again)
I feel nervous (that I won’t know how to capture the moment [via digital camera / twitter /fb status update])
I feel __________
I piss my pants
because it is the only natural / complex expression of my true feelings

Will anything in 2k10 make u piss ur pants?
Or will 2k10 be a buzz + urine drought?

I just want a bro
who pisses his pants with me
and we will metaphorically drink one another’s urine
sipping the stream from my bro’s loins
Content Stream
Life Stream
Urine Stream
This is my Stream

Arcade Fire launches their new album cycle by writing snarky postcard to bloggers + tween fans

Posted: 16 May 2010 11:56 AM PDT


The Arcade Fire is the most successful band of the indie era because their brand didn’t really deteriorate in a blatantly Death Cab kind of way. Instead, they found interesting ways to license their ‘epic anthem wave’ music by giving it to the NFL + miscellaneous soundtracks for childrens movies. They have some upcoming album, and it seems like they are ‘getting this shit ready to drop’ by initiating the marketing process, beginning to build their album brand ‘from the ground up.’

It seems like their new album is some sort of concept album about ‘The Suburbs.’ Not sure if this is because the lead singer, Win Butler, is trying to channel his inner-suburban bro from when he grew up in Houston, TX, or if he is trying to be ‘artsy’ like the ‘Canadian indie band frontman’ he has publicly branded himself as.

They wrote some snarky ass post card to ‘the internet.’ This is probably some sort of commentary on blog culture, but it makes me kinda scared that they addressed it to the Pentagon. Wonder if they are calling the Pentagon ‘cyberbully terrorists.’ Seems very classless after the 9-11 attack on the Pentagon. They might need to hire a new PR/marketing team for letting that 1 pass.

In addition, they say they ‘wrote a new 12 inch’ because I guess their album might not be available in digital format. They tell every1 ‘good luck with finals’, which is probably some sort of commentary on their new target group, high schoolers and college students. The Arcade Fire probably feels like they have ‘won over’ the cool dad + mid-to-late-twenties indie fan bases. They just gotta move mad units, and write stuff that sells 2 every1, having a U2-ish universal message [via "It was a Beautiful Day"].

Will this Arcade Fire album be ‘the most hyped’ album of all time?
If we thought MGMT was ‘over-exposed’ are we are about to see a whole new level of indie coverage in the mainstream?
Is this album going to ‘deliver’ both critically and commercially?
Does the Arcade Fire h8 ‘the internet’?
Is the Arcade fire still ‘indie’ or are they ‘’?
Is the Arcade Fire’s new album going to be ‘inconsequential’ and hollow, kinda like a new Interpol album?
Is the Arcade Fire overrated because things were easier to be meaningful in 2k4?
Will the Arcade Fires save 2k10, or will they ‘officially ruin it’?
Will ‘beat’ the Arcade Fire in the eyes of the blogosphere?

Will the Arcade Fire be the modern day Bruce Springsteen?

UNCONFIRMED RUMOR: Amber Rose Dumps Kanye West for an altbro with an alt mullet

Posted: 16 May 2010 10:41 AM PDT

Photo by thecobrasnake


is a model / curvy ass video girl who was apparently ‘in love’ with Kanye West. They used to love going places and wearing crazy outfits together, especially outfits that showed off her big, beautiful breasts, and big ol bomb ass. It seems like this video might indicate that they are ‘broken up’, and she is no longer digging the hip hop lifestyle. Maybe Kanye West is ‘too much of an artist’, and he is busy working on music / fashion / art / videos / etc. Seems hard to be in a relationship with such a pure creative type.

I wonder if she is really in a relaish with this mullet bro. Maybe he represents a ‘drastic change of pace’ from life with Kanye West. A simple bro who might not be famous, or creative, but just some1 u can chill with, and run ur fingers through his tail of . I remember once hearing that ‘once u go black, u never go back. Maybe that rule doesn’t apply when ur with a mullet alternative bro.

Did u think Kanye West and would ‘last’?
Does ‘give u a hard on’?
Is it difficult for you to be with some 1 after they have been with a black partner? [via racism]
Does have ‘the most banging body’ u’ve ever seen?
Should I grow a mullet in order to attract top flight mainstream ass?
Is Kanye too much of a free spirit to be in a relaish with?