Tuesday, April 13, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

How many mp3s / albums / streams must an artist sell to make minimum wage?

Posted: 13 Apr 2010 04:55 PM PDT

http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/2010/how-much-do-music-artists-earn-online/


I just saw this ‘really sweet infographic’ about how much artists must sell in order to make minimum wage in the United States. From what I understand, there are tons of ways for artists to make money by selling their CDs, but they usually get ‘ripped off’ by iTunes, label contracts, and streaming services. Not sure if it is realistic to expect 2 make money in the modern world unless you are Coldplay.

Would u rather be in a minimum wage buzzband, or just work at McDonalds for a while?

Does this infographic ‘open ur eyes’?
Does it seem lucrative to be in a buzzband, or should they just get ‘real desk jobs’?
Are streaming services ‘bullshit’ scams that don’t really pay artists?
Should the American education system be converted into Infographics so that information is graphically displayed in a beautiful way that seems compelling and interesting?
Should I start a blog with fake, yet plausible infographics?

Do u know how much modern buzz bands get paid when I download their mp3s for free off the internet?

Lord of the Bros: Is the modern College Bro a danger 2 society?

Posted: 13 Apr 2010 02:20 PM PDT

Have you ever been 2 college? What was your college brand all about? Were you the ultimate college bro?

Sometimes I wonder if certain subcultures / genres of humans are a danger / threat 2 society. Like there is something ugly brewing inside of them, and eventually they will ‘break free’ and cause some sort of huge danger to other humans. At the very least, there will be tons of property damage, kinda like black people and the Los Angeles riots.

Going away to college seems like the ultimate opportunity to become a bro. Being away from parents. Eating at all-you-can-eat buffet style cafeterias. Getting ’shit faced’ and experimenting with drugs. Living in a small room with some one who you love and hate at the same time. Having ultimate broments where you are ‘nailing’ a ‘chick’, and your bro is pleasuring himself from his bunk bed beneath you.

Being a college bro means ‘fitting in’ with a network of like-minded bros. But do you really get the love and affection that you need to remain happy? Does moving away from the parents you hate really ‘free’ you, or are you more ‘trapped’ than ever, forced to justify your life decisions? Does college prepare u for the real world, or does it cause people to slide into a surreal life where they stay in college for 6-10 years since they don’t want to deal with society? Does it cause 20 year olds to go into too much debt since they are trying to ‘perpetuate’ a lifestyle for way 2 long.

Sort of just wish I could go to college, and have some sort of college bro convention. We would talk about modern issues that are relevant to the modern college bro, then have a ’sick rager’ with tons of red cups. It would be kind of like a music festival held at an on-campus apartment complex.

Eventually, things would get out of hand, and we would throw all of our Scarface posters, campus-issued furnitures, and Dell Desktop computers into a massive bonfire. It would be sort of like a modern ‘Animal House’ except with more social commentary.

Eventually, I would emerge as the Lord of the Bros, giving a passionate speech while my skin roasted in the flames. College isn’t about grades. It isn’t about acquiring technical skills for a future job. It’s about making meaningful connections with a series of bros. I didn’t pay for a degree. I paid for an experience.

College Bros from all over the country would hear my voice, and use my advice to build a better network of college bros. We would be more than just bros getting drunk, sexting broads, and jerking off to internet porn. We would be a unified movement. We would start a facebook group, and our wall would be very active.

Even non-bros would be inspired, and work with us. They will stand up and declare, “Fuck society. This is our time. College can last forever if we want it to.”

Eventually, the riot squad will be summoned, and society will try to ‘hold us down.’ The will be threatened by the College Bro utopia that we want to build.

Some of the bros will run and hide, scared that their parents will ‘cut them off’ if they go to jail. Some of us will fight. Some of us will fall. Taken down in a sea of red cups and crushed Keystone Light cans.

This bro is me. I have a dream. I had a dream. One day, America will remember me because the US Government will give every1 the ‘day off’ to celebrate me + my message of college bro equality.

I will beg and plead with them, yelling, ‘Cmon bro’ or even ‘Not cool bro.’ They simply don’t understand me.

I am not looking for a girlfriend, but I want a girl who will fight for me. A girl who will ‘please me in bed’ but also ’stand up for me’ in my time of need. Every college bro needs a fiery college skank who will drunkenly get arrested defending him.

We will go to jail. We will pay fines. It will be difficult for us to find jobs after college. But College Bro Day was worth it. Our cause. Our iconic images will live forever.

Are college bros a threat to society?
Is there some sort of untamed spirit inside of them that will lead to property damage?
Are college bros depressed on the inside?
Did you go to college and mature, or did you experience a version of the world that misrepresented post-college life, leaving u paralyzed an unable to assimilate into the real world?
Are college bros ‘homosexually repressed’, therefore ‘violent’?
Did u live in a dorm or off campus?
Should America try to prevent the broification of college campuses, or is the process of broing down natural?
Have u ever been to a college party that ‘got out of control’?
Did ur life fall apart in college?
Did u meet the best bros of ur life in college?
Should the US Government create more programs to prevent the broification of the American College & University System?

Rage, Rage
Against the Dying
of the bro

Crystal Castles coming out with new album. Will it ‘revive’ bloghouse / kill chillwave?

Posted: 13 Apr 2010 12:49 PM PDT


Do u remember the blog house era? I think Crystal Castles was a part of that whole era, even though they used lil video game sounds. I wonder if the new Crystal Castles album will ‘revive’ bloghouse / entry level electro. Not sure if their songs were ever ‘great’, but I think they possibly built a strong enough brand/sound that it doesn’t really matter what they do, just as long as they stick to the same formula. Not sure if the new album art is a vintage picture of from when she was a graveyard girl [via m83].

Crystal Castles pulled a ‘dbaggy’ move by naming their second album Crystal Castles, the same name as their first album Crystal Castles. Wonder if they should have changed it up, or maybe called it ‘Volume 2.’ I feel like this might confuse consumers who are looking for different albums.

R u ready for a new cycle of memes?

Feeling relieved, like we have a new album to look forward to, then be disappointed by/talk about how it ‘didn’t make the grade.’
R u excited to consume more ‘dark imagery’ memes from Crystal Castles?
Will rebrand?
Will Crystal Castles try to ‘kill’ the chill wave of new sounds, or will they hire them to do remixes for them?
Is Crystal Castles authentic, or is it something that Californian Mexi electro teens are supposed 2 find ‘relevant’?

Which track via their tracklist seems the most ‘dark’?
01 Fainting Spells
02 Celestica
03 Doe Deer
04 Baptism
05 Year of Silence
06 Empathy
07 Suffocation
08 Violent Dreams
09 Vietnam
10 Birds
11 Pap Smear
12 Not in Love
13 Intimate
14 I Am Made of Chalk

Unconfirmed Rumor: Conan O’Brien and George Lopez will write late nite TBS sitcom 2gether

Posted: 13 Apr 2010 08:11 AM PDT


According to the internet, has given Conan O’Brien a lucrative contract to become a part of their company. After being fired from NBC for not being funny enough/acquiring viewers, he got a lot of ‘blog buzz’ since tons of ppl were really into him before the internet existed. For some reason, he still wants to be a ‘late night talk show host’ instead of doing something more relevant/something that fits in with our modern society+modern channels of modern humor.

I am not sure if this sitcom news is true, but just searched for info about it on twitter. If I had to guess, their sitcom is probably about a Mexican man and a White Man who are dealing with growing old together. There will be funny moments, but also serious moments. They own a pizza joint burrito coffee shop, and have tons of silly stuff happen to them. I am not sure if there will also be a talk show integrated into the sitcom, or if it will just be like The Office or something.

Do u think this investment is worth it?
Do u think Late Night TV is ‘done’?
Will Conan O’Brien battle for alt buzzbands with Jimmy Fallon to try to get ‘blog buzz’?
Will Conan hire Diplo as his ‘house band’ to combat the Roots?
Does hate Mexicans?
Will Mexicans stay up late to watch ?
Is Conan going to ‘tank’ on ?
Why do people still want Late Night variety shows 2 be relevant?
Do people really have time to watch 1 hour of commercials / celebrities trying to promote their most recent movies + some lame band?
Is Jay Leno going to ‘crush’ Conan O’Brien?
Is being on ‘Team CoCo’ overrated?
Is NBC in ‘the shitter’ since Michael Phelps retired from the Olympics and won’t star on ‘The Office’?
Should Conan have taken a development deal with ________?

Do u ‘give a shit’ abt late night TV?

Do the new leaked LCD Soundsystem songs sound better than “Drunk Girls”?

Posted: 13 Apr 2010 06:20 AM PDT


Many indie rock critics are ‘divided’ on the LCD Soundsystem song “Drunk Girls.” Some say that it is ‘the spirit of rock n roll.’ Others claim that it was constructed to be a crossover sensation / mainstream movie meme song. I am not sure how to feel about this live performance of ‘Live Girls.’

Is the “This is Happening” leak the most anticipated leak in the entire blogosphere now that Ariel Pink has leaked?

Is LCD Soundsystem a ’studio band’ or do u like James Murphy live?

Did u hear their new ‘leaked’ songs?
Do they sound better than ‘Drunk Girls’?

LCD Soundsystem – I Can Change

LCD Soundsystem – Dance Yrself Clean

Which 1 of these songs sounds better?
Did they ‘made a mistake’ by letting Drunk Girls be the lead single of the album, or will that ultimately help it get mainstream coverage + radio play?
Has LCD Soundsystem let u down?
Do u wish they still wrote hit songs that were as good as “KIDS” and “Electric Feel” and “Time to Pretend”?
What will Pitchfork give this album? Seems like it has to be better than a 6.8, at least.
Has Jimmy Murphy ‘lost his edge’?

Minneapolis named #1 bike-friendly city, beats Austin & Portland

Posted: 13 Apr 2010 06:02 AM PDT

Link: http://www.bicycling.com/article/0,6610,s1-3-583-21901-1,00.html
Link 2: http://www.examiner.com/x-9572-Minneapolis-City-Hall-Examiner~y2010m4d7-Minneapolis-is-Americas-1-bike-city


Minneapolis has been named the #1 bike-friendly city by Bicycle Magazine. In our modern society, bikes represent ‘going green’ by choosing not to drive cars that indirectly melt our ice caps. Many environmental experts say that it is important for humans to stop driving fossil fuel mobiles so that we don’t kill our Earth. Most American cities are built to accommodate cars, not bicycles, leading to tons of non-helmet biker bro deaths every year.

I have never been to Minneapolis, and I am not sure if I ever will. Not sure how alt it is. Sort of get it confused with Michigan and Wisconsin, like they should all merge into one super-state full of white people. I know that the biggest mall in the world is in Minneapolis. Maybe people have to ride their bikes there because parking can be really bad, especially around the Christmas Holidays.

Can u believe that Minneapolis beat cities like Portland, , New York City, Brooklyn, Williams Burger, San Fransisco, Apple HQ, Chicago and Suburbia, USA?

Seems like the city is really gonna try to ‘brand itself’ as ‘being green’:

“I was so excited by this news, I overinflated my bike tires,” bike enthusiast Mayor R.T. Rybak said. “We’ve come a long way from when the first bike lanes were striped on our streets back in the 1970s. Biking is now a much better way of getting around town.”

In Bicycling magazine’s May edition, which hit newsstands this week, Minneapolis is noted for having a large and supportive biking community. The article also mentions the extensive infrastructure in place for cyclists here, including bike-pedestrian bridges, greenways and a bike-share program that will begin this year.

Did your city ‘make the cut’? Are these cities really ‘bike friendly’ or is it all about mountain biking trails?

America’s Top 50 Bike-Friendly Cities
1. Minneapolis
2. Portland, OR
3. Boulder, CO
4. Seattle
5. Eugene, OR
6. San Francisco
7. Madison, WI
8. New York City
9. Tucson, AZ
10. Chicago
11. , TX
12. Denver, CO
13. Washington, DC
14. Ann Arbor, MI
15. Phoenix/Tempe, AZ
16. Gainesville, FL
17. Albuquerque, NM
18. Colorado Springs, CO
19. Salem, OR
20. Scottsdale, AZ
21. Louisville, KY
22. Chattanooga, TN
23. Long Beach, CA
24. Cary, NC
25. Milwaukee
26. Boston
27. Philadelphia
28. Pittsburgh
29. Charleston, SC
30. Arlington, VA
31. Sioux Falls, SD
32. Boise, ID
33. Kansas City, MO
34. Columbus, OH
35. Tulsa, OK
36. Grand Rapids, MI
37. Billings, MT
38. St. Louis
39. Cleveland
40. Greensboro, NC
41. Lexington-Fayette, KY
42. Omaha, NE
43. Salt Lake City
44. Miami
45. Indianapolis
46. Fargo, ND
47. Anchorage, AK
48. Baltimore
49. Little Rock, AR
50. Rochester, NY

Should I move to Fargo / Arkansas / Montana so I can be a pure bicycle enthusiast?
Have u been to Minneapolis, is it really ‘bicycle friendly’?
Is anywhere in America truly bicycle friendly, or do we need to build a cross country bike expressway?
Wonder if I should buy a fixed gear bike and move to Minneapolis. Does n e 1 know where I can find a good bike scene to become a part of? Just want to wear cut offs, drink beer, and deliver some sort of local pizza / sushi / organic product. Seems like that might be the perfect life. Just want to be like this guy, except maybe more alt.

Wonder if this news will hurt the brands of + Portland.
Are cars more efficient than bicycles?

Seinfeld’s George Costanza actor bro guy becomes Jenny Craig spokesman

Posted: 12 Apr 2010 08:31 PM PDT


George Costanza is a character from Seinfeld played by the actor Jason Alexander. “Seinfeld” was one of the most successful tv shows of all time. From what I understand, comedy and tv buffs call it ‘the last great comedy sitcom’, because now every comedy has to require zany humor like the Office.

George Costanza was the manifestation of , popular star of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I am not sure if the real actor is really identified as any one beyond ‘George Costanza.’ By appearing in Seinfeld, he basically gave away his identity as a singular human being, and will now be expected to be George Costanza any where he goes. Seems like he probably ‘made a deal with the devil’ or something.

Feel like when I am watching the product like I might be watching some sort of ‘out of this world’ story arc on Seinfeld, like the time George Costanza bought cheap wedding invitation envelopes, then his fiance died from licking them all. Or the time that Kramer killed a police man’s horse when he was high, then he went to jail for murdering a police office.

Wonder why Jenny Craig paid George Costanza to endorse their product. I guess Gen X men who were into Seinfeld are starting to get fat, so they needed a character who would help them to post-ironically get on the product.

Do u know any 1 who is on Jenny Craig? Is it only for single 30 year old ladies who work as teacher or as secretaries in some office who are trying 2 find a man? Should I get a refrigerator fully loaded with Jenny Craig meals because I am ‘too stupid’ and ‘too lazy’ to put together my own healthy meals?

Should only women be required to lose weight?

Is Seinfeld ‘alt’?
Is Curb Your Enthusiasm ‘better than’ Seinfeld?
Is George Costanza a good spokesman?
Do u need 2 lose weight using a structured diet plan?
What is the greatest comedy of all time?
Were u 1 of those people who ’shot their load’ over ‘the reunion’? R u gonna buy Jenny Craig?

What is the funniest episode of Seinfeld of all time?

Are you still in love with the thrill of the live music experience?

Posted: 12 Apr 2010 05:23 PM PDT

In this video, a tween edits a video about her trip to an concert in Portland, Oregon. The video is titled “6 Reasons Why Seeing , Lights and Paper Route was incredible!” In the video, you can see how a meaningful day was built around a concert.

Do u remember when u used 2 feel this alive? When you were young, and you were ‘excited’ about going to see your favourite band play live. Excited about all of the predictable/unpredictable possibilities that might come your way

  • venturing to the city, or perhaps an ‘urban’ part of the city, and doing something meaningful that alternative grownups probably get to do every day
  • some sort of ‘inconvenience’ that you were able to find meaningful because you knew you had a purpose for enduring: seeing the live show of your fave band.
  • Waiting in line, but finding it meaningful because ur surrounded by other people who like the same band that you do
  • Being convinced that an ‘opener’ was meaningful / actually a ‘good band’. Like you feel like you should ‘invest’ in them since you think that one day they will ‘replace’ the headlining band
  • standing ‘in the front’ at the concert
  • taking tons of pix
  • taking a vid of the most meaningful song so that other people on the internet can ‘appreciate’ ur experience
  • meeting ‘members of the bands’ and thinking ‘wow. they are so nice and humble. they are really kewl, like just nice people. I have a feeling that we would get along if we knew one another in real life.’
  • walking away from the concert sweaty and satisfied, like u just had sex for the first or second time and finally ‘came.’
    having the unique opportunity to buy authentic band merch, so that the show will last forever in the form of a physical product.

Sorta just wish I could be young again and connect with a network of hopeful, like-minded people in a live setting. Not being annoyed by so many entry levelers in Am Appy hoodies

Sort of get the vibe that concerts are like ‘after parties’ for Christian retreats + soccer tournaments or something.

Maybe every one goes through a ‘meaningful-core’ phase from age 13-18.2, and one band will captivate this audience no matter who it is that makes the era’s best cheesy meaningful, emotionally, hopeful music. Some people had Deathcab for Cutie / Postal Service / Ben Gibbard products. Other tweens had Dashboard confessional. Maybe some tweens even had the Cranberries, the Goo Goo dolls, or Hootie and the Blowfish. Meaningful-core has so many different manifestations.

Just want to be young again, and feel like ‘my whole life is ahead of me.’ I want to go to a concert, and get the feeling that every1 in the crowd will fulfill their dreams. Want to feel like the concert I attended was ‘the most meaningful show’ of the entire tour, and possibly one of ‘the greatest live performances of music in the history of the world.’

I’ve become such a professional at finding buzzbands that it’s so hard to get excited. I know what is going 2 happen. I know that even if I truly love a band, one day they will probably ‘go mainstream’ because their music is too universally appealing to go unmainstreamified.

Do u wish u could be a meaningful teenager again?
What was ur favourite band of your meaningful-core era?
Is the ‘worst band of all time’?
Does n e 1 know if the bro should be a registered sex offender based on the weirdo inspirational kids songs he writes?
Really feel scared, like he shouldn’t be allowed to sing to kids who are still growing their first pubic hairs.

Is the bro the modern day Michael Jackson, since he is like a kid trapped in the body of a twinky thirty-year-old man?
Really feel like this video is supposed to be his ‘fuck den’ or something.

Not sure if I’d let my teenage son or daughter go to an concert.
If one of my kids walked out the door dressed in a purple Am Appy hoodie and a few headbands, I would make them feel like they were leaving the house dressed like a slut.

Does n e 1 know what concert is ’still worth seeing’?
Are standing concerts for people aged 12-24?
Are mp3s better than the live show because you don’t have to listen to them with hundreds of inauthentic people?
Do u wish they had Macbooks / cheap video cams when you were a tween so you could have captured more meaningful moments forever?
What was your favourite part about going 2 concerts when you were a formative alt?