Monday, April 5, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

The ALT REPORT pulls ultimate douchey blog move, launches ‘iPad friendly’ version of site

Posted: 05 Apr 2010 04:52 PM PDT


The ALT REPORT is a news and meme service launched by Carles of the popular weblog .

Carles formally announced on the Alt Report that he had a design team create an iPad friendly version of his website:

Hey blog readers aka ‘the Runoff Nation Tribe of Kewl Bro Follower Lemmings’. Thanks for checking my kewl website. It’s a blogspot. I know a lot of yall probs have iPads, so I decided 2 make an iPad friendly version of the Alt Report. Just trying to make it seem way more functional for people who like to browse the net on tablet PCs / hand held computers. Seems like it would be kewl to tap on a website, then make it load. Watch videos, play music on an enlarged iPod, read eBooks on my website.

Just wanted to ’stay relevant’ and launch an iPad friendly version of my site. I want people to think that reading HRO is the same as reading a book so that instead of buying books, they just come 2 the alt report to read live memes.

Feel free to go out and buy an iPad, or just load the site, cuz I think all websites are ‘iPad friendly.’ It has a web browser, so u can basically browse any website, unless it is an ugly flash one

Went ‘back and forth’ with this APP programming company in India. It was honestly a ‘bitch’ bc they wanted me to truly understand design, but I just wanted something that looked kewl + relevant. I just wanted something where u could browse my site and it was ‘kewl’ and ‘intuitive’ kind of like an Apple product. Even though the website on the iPad is the same as the website on a PC desktop, I honestly feel like the experience is ‘better than ever’ on the iPad.

Yall are the best. Hope u upgrade ur iPhones 2 iPads. Hope u like my iPad friendly site. Let me know if you have any design interface questions or suggestions.

Seeya,
Carles Blogger

Here’s what it looks like on the iPad

Was this $40K investment on an iPad friendly website for the ALT REPORT worth it?
Will HRO launch an APP?
Did u buy ur iPad yet, or are u waiting for 3G?
Do they have 3G in suburbia?
Are blogs that design custom iPad websites neglecting normal bros on normal computers?

Does MGMT’s “Flash Delirium” still ’suck’ live? [LIVE PERFORMANCE ANALYSIS]

Posted: 05 Apr 2010 02:49 PM PDT


Still trying to ‘figure out’ whether or not is good/relevant or not. Even though their debut mp3 was a letdown, I thought I should ‘give them a chance’ in the live setting, so I watched videos of them performing live on youtube to save money on concert tickets.

Is “Flash Delirium” meant 2 be heard live? Is better as a ‘live’ band?
Is the song getting better or worse each time u hear it?
Did deserve a perfect 10.0 from the Pitchfork Magazine?

Also saw this video of a live performance of ‘Congratulations.’ Still haven’t really listened to the mp3 version of that song, but just trying to ‘get’ the vibes of .

Does this music sound ‘good’?
Are they talented bros who made a beautiful album, or are they talented bros who made a ‘crappy’ album?
Are they untalented bros who made a beautiful album, or are they untalented bros who made a ‘crappy’ album?

I wonder what ’s optimal strategy moving forward should be. Will they ‘crossover’ and get tons of radio play?

Can they some how transform into a weirdo jam band?

Do tweens even know what jam bands are? Worried that strategy won’t work if tweens grow with Justin Bieber / the Jonas brothers / Miley Cyrus.

Should I buy 7-day passes to a relevant music festival to see ?
Will ’s 3rd album be ‘the greatest album ever written’?

Should Lil Wayne be allowed to blog + sell ‘merch’ from jail?

Posted: 05 Apr 2010 12:04 PM PDT


I recently read a news story about how Lil Wayne launched a new blog from jail. It seems like he is trying to utilize a blog to keep his brand alive. He is also selling t-shirts that say ‘Free Weezy.’ Instead of letting people think he is a ‘criminal’ who is ‘getting his ass pounded’ behind bars, he wants people to know he is having a ‘deep, reflective experience.’

Love. Live. Life. Proceed. Progress. That's who I am and who I'll always be. You see, we're all living on borrowed time, so I'm not worried about this situation. Life happens quick. The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done…you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do. Trying to tear down the past prohibits you from building up your future. So for my time here, my physical will be confined to the yard. My love and my spirit, however, know no boundaries.

I have always been afraid 2 go 2 jail because I thought it was a place where you don’t have any rights, you eat dog food slop, and you get ‘raped in the ass’ until you murder some1 to prove that ur ‘a prison baller.’ It seems like a scary place (based on the movies I have seen about prison). I wouldn’t have the same freedoms I have in normal society if I lived in a prison. There would be no HD TV, no personal space, no macbooks, no memes, no youtube videos, no retail shopping opportunities, no high quality fast food, and tons of minorities/uneducated ppl who don’t care how ‘alt’ u r.

Wonder how Lil Wayne is blogging. Is there some sort of computer lab where all of the prisoners can go to watch pornography, update their twitters, change their myspace layouts, pay their cable bill, and email with their family?

If they do have a computer lab, I hope they have really shitty computers that have a bunch of spyware slowing them down.

Wonder if he has his own room with a computer. He can chill in bed while he blogs, then other prisoners might shank him in the middle of the night 2 try to steal his

It seems unfair that Lil Wayne gets to blog from jail. I feel like he did something that was harmful to society, so he should be banned from having internet privileges. Wonder if all prisoners get the same treatment he gets. I imagine him sitting in a room watching / ESPN, eating pringles, doing drugs, and just living life in some sweet room.

Does n e 1 know if racism in jail exists? [via American History X]

Maybe he joined a sweet Mexican prison gang

If I lived in the same prison as Lil Wayne, I would probably try to bro down hard with him, then expect a job from him when we get out of jail.

It seems ‘bad for America’ that we can glorify this bro who is ‘behind bars.’ H8 how rappers think that they get more ‘cred’ if they go to jail, because they have more content to rap about. Always need to prove that they ‘aren’t scared’ and that they have ‘overcome difficult circumstances’ to evolve into a human who rhymes about ‘having sex with tons of girls with big asses.’ Feel like maybe Obama should pass a law that rappers have to retire when they go to jail in order to keep them from setting a bad example for white American kids.

Sorta wish OJ Simpson had a blog. Feel like people want to hear what that bro is up 2.

Wonder if Lil Wayne will end up ‘preferring life on the inside’, then when he is about to be released, he will perform a crime to stay behind bars instead of having to deal with the outside world.

Should I send him a care package? Might send him a knife baked into a batch of herbal brownies.

Is Lil Wayne able to get the drugs he needs behind bars?
Should blogging be allowed behind bars?
Should Lil Wayne get the death penalty?
Should prisoners only be allowed to read 5th grade reading level books?
Is life in prison like the Shawshank Redemption? American History X? The Green Mile?

Is Lil Wayne a ‘prison wife’ [via sodomy]?
R u scared to go to jail, or does it seem like a chill place where you can have a cute lil blog / tumblr?
Has n e 1 ever been to jail/prison? Feel free 2 share ur experiences and levels of internet privileges in the comments.

Unconfirmed Rumor: Steve Aoki gets a job as an MTV VJ

Posted: 05 Apr 2010 08:12 AM PDT

Photo by Last Nights Party


Just saw this picture of Steve Aoki holding an News microphone. Seems like it might be reasonable to jump to the conclusion that he has given up his global career on a DJ to focus on his impending marriage with future it girl Tiernan Cowling. A position as an VJ will keep him connected to the music that he loves, but will disable his on-the-go lifestyle.

Do u think he is actually going to be a VJ, or is he being interviewed for a segment about how ‘electro music is blowing up’?
Did Steve Aoki + Mark Hunter (the cobrasnake) get their pilot ‘green lit’?

Wonder if he will get laid off from Viacom, then regret giving up his career as a DJ.
Will Steve Aoki be the most authentic VJ of all time, or will he be a worthless post-Carson Daly type of bro who they hired ‘on the cheap’?
Should Steve Aoki do an unpaid internship under John Norris?

Is Steve Aoki the next great VJ, or is he stuck being a DJ?
Which position will enable him to become a Generation Z household name?

Some Portland alt ‘entrepreneurs’ deliver organic soup on their bicycles

Posted: 05 Apr 2010 06:25 AM PDT

Link: http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/subscription-soup-deliveries
Link 2: http://www.soupcycle.com/


Just found out about these two Portland organic granola core alts who deliver soup on their bicycle. I am not sure why this is a meme-worthy business, but it probably helps Portland’s brand as a place where people who care about health + the Earth live. Wonder if Portland seems like a cool place to live. Wonder if there are SoupCycle services for every type of food.

Do u want 2 try some organic soup? We have a really low carbon footprint. We only use ingredients from local farms.

Jed Lazar and Shauna Lambert make organic soup in Portland, Oregon then deliver it via bicycle to patrons within their downtown service area. Their company, SoupCycle, uses locally sourced produce to make hearty soup-based meals that are sold via subscription through their website.

Environmental sustainability and socially responsible practices are at the heart of the food service's subscription soup deliveries. Bicycle delivery has saved over 3,000 car miles and put more than $33,000 into the local farm economy.

Feel like I still would rather get Pizza Hut / Papa John’s / Domino’s delivered to me by some stoner who drives a car.

Would u ever live in Portland, or does it seem like ‘hell’?
Should I start a ‘green’ business in suburbia, or would people fail to realize why my business was marketable?
Do u think some1 should invest in this brand and turn it into a global corporation?
Would it be more authentic if the delivery bros rode fixed gear bicycles?

Sorta wish this cooler was filled with Capri Suns, Sunny Delights, and sodas. Want to reconnect with my childhood filled with high fructose corn syrup.

Zooming past cars
on my bike
delivering organic soup
h8 u pizza + sushi delivery cars

Is this the future of alternative business?
Is Portland a great place for organic / green entrepreneurs?
Does Portland seem like a place where a Chili’s franchise would fail?
Will America die from diabetes?
Do u think their soup is high in sodium?
Will Obama’s new healthcare plan help us to get diabetes, but give us more money to pay for dialysis + prescription drugs?
Who has the best online ordering portal: Domino’s, Pizza Hut, or Papa Johns?

do u like soup? do u like Portland? do u like organic food or is it 2 expensive?

Uffie on the cover of some French Magazine wearing a sillie hat

Posted: 05 Apr 2010 06:03 AM PDT

Link: http://www.technikart.com/a-la-une/5748-communique


Uffie is on the cover of Technikart, a French Magazine that I have never heard of.  I can’t speak French, but if I had to guess, it seems like it would be about technology and cars. Possibly ‘go-carts’ or the ‘karts’ used in Super Mario Kart. The article is called “Is there life after the party?” It is probably some sort of ‘puff piece’ about how she is trying to ‘recapture the magic’ of the blog house era.

There are probably really serious questions about how she has ‘evolved as a person + musician’ + her commentary on how the scene is so different now. Do u think it is insightful? Feels sweet to live in an era where we just see jpg files of magazine covers on the internet instead of having 2 buy the actual magazine.

do u think she has a cute little record hat on, or is that a different style of hat?

Wonder if Uffie’s album is going 2 flop.
Wonder how the alt media will accept her upcoming album “.”
Wonder if Pitchfork will review it / give it a 3.0.
Is Uffie a ’sex icon’?
Will Uffie’s upcoming album ‘crossover’?
Are French Magazines more authentic than US magazines?
What country generates the most authentic magazines / zines in the world?

Gifted and Talented Tweens ‘cover’ Matt and Kim’s Indie hit “Daylight”

Posted: 04 Apr 2010 07:09 PM PDT


Just saw this group of gifted and talented tweens covering Matt & Kim’s song from a few years ago “Daylight.” Sorta weird that this generic indie song is ’so generic’ that it has evolved into a mainstream indie staple song. I don’t have any commentary on the performance since it is probably ‘good’, but wanted to use this post to reflect on children + the performing arts.

Feel sad that my parents didn’t send me to guitar / piano / ableton lessons when I was a kid. I am at a severe disadvantage as an artist, like if I wanted to start an indie band I wouldn’t even know how.

Wish I could have had an awkward high school band, playing songs that sounded a little bit like Pavement meets Lifehouse.

Wish I could have ‘dropped vocals’ in the studio.

wonder if I would have been a smarter kid if music stimulated the left/right side of my brain. I guess I’ll never know. I’ll always be jealous of the bros who brought their acoustic guitars to high school, or my friends who were in ‘orchestra’ then spent several thousand dollars to buy some weird instrument like a cello. Even though they never play their cello any more, they still had the affirmation that their parents were willing to invest in them 2 cultivate a skill that may or may not have taught them life lessons.

Do u think Obama should cut funding for the performing arts in schools across America?
Does music really help kids 2 learn?
Should Vh1 really care about ’saving the music’ or should they just keep making celeb reality shows?
Do u wish u knew how to play indie songs on the guitar / garageband / serato?
Do u think these teens wish they could have covered a Disney teen pop song?
Will Matt and Kim’s “Daylight” accidentally evolve into the next “Wake Up” by the Arcade Fire?