Friday, March 26, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Misguided Alt Teen gets new tattoo, shops at Urban Outfitters

Posted: 26 Mar 2010 12:29 PM PDT


Recently, a misguided alt teen vlogged about getting a tattoo. The tattoo had cursive writing of some quote from some alt band. In addition, the tween vlogged about going to Urban Outfitters and purchasing some cool tshirts and expensive jeans.

Half of the vlog is spent discussing a conversation he had with a substitute gym class teacher about how awesome his hair is. Do u like his long nu-emo bang?


At the conclusion of the video, the alt went to Subway to meet up with his friend who was ‘closing.’ Presumably, this alt would get a free sandwich from his friend. What type of bread + toppings do you think he got?

Should I stay in this weekend and get buzzed off Reddi Wips / nitrous oxide?

Posted: 26 Mar 2010 10:50 AM PDT

Photos by the cobrasnake


I feel like I want to try a new drug. Sorta want something that I can buy at my local store. Something more authentic than cough syrup, though. I want to feel happy, not groggy and retarded [via Lil Wayne].

Want to feel the temporary buzz of nitrous oxide from Whip Cream containers, then reward myself with the sweet taste of cream.

Just want to get fucked up out of a balloon, but not do heroin. Might sit in my van, and ‘waste away’ my life after high school.

Really want to get serious about using this drug. Might buy a starter kit at my local bong store.

Is it more alt to get ‘effed up’ on computer duster?

Just want to buy some balloons, get effed up with a bunch of losers at my rural college that is stealing my parents’ money. Want to masturbate with Dorito dust fingers every night and get into relaishes with fat gamer chicks.

Need a new drug. Something more ‘light hearted’ and more readily accessible than weed/ cocaine / the horse / tussin / meow meow / etc.

Want a light hearted drug that fits in with my lifestyle. Wonder if computer duster is the same as Whip Cream cans.

Need to get ‘lifted’, then see what happens with my cute alt baguette friend [via scissoring]

Have yall ever done Whip Its?
Are they a light hearted drug?
Does the high last 4evr?
Have u put nitrous boosters in the back of ur car to make it go faster?
Is Cool Whip more alt than whip cream in a can?
Do yall like Whip Cream on top of ur hot chocolate / milkshakes / ice cream sundaes?

Baby Stroller that ‘transforms’ into a bike for an on-the-go alt parent

Posted: 26 Mar 2010 09:47 AM PDT

Link: http://www.psfk.com/2010/03/from-baby-stroller-to-bike-in-20-seconds.html


I recently saw this baby stroller that transforms into bicycle. It is called a ‘Taga.’ Sorta wish I had alt parents who lived in the city, and transported me in a transformable bicycle stroller. I feel like I would have had a global perspective at a younger age if I was able to zoom around the city while my parents biked.

Seems like a hilariously branded product for really douchey parents:

Taga is a multifunctional urban vehicle, uniquely designed to suit the needs of today’s parents and children. Taga combines the benefits of a premium stroller and a carrier bicycle to create a new transportation modality.

Safe, Reliable and fun, Taga lets parents and kids move about the city easily, transforming a typical daily journey into an exciting adventure. When reaching the desired destination, whether a shop, cafe, indoor playground or a friend’s house, Taga is converted within seconds into a stroller, allowing parent and child to conveniently enter the premises, ride an elevator or ascend steps. There is no need to lock Taga outside and no parts are left behind. Taga can also be taken on the underground, train, bus or any other means of public transportation, offering continuous riding to and from
any destination.

Seems like they made this mad alt video that shows an ‘urban parent’ in skinny jeans pulling off a transformation. Probably would have been more authentic if they used an alternative baby as a prop.

Seems like they really ‘went overboard’ with the product description:

Taga is both a motional and an emotional experience. Parents and children are able to communicate while riding to create an ongoing emotional bond. Moving around with Taga and exploring the city together, each ride becomes a joyfully shared time. Truly an enriching parenting experience.

Have u ever had a motional and emotional experience with ur parents?
Were u lucky if ur parents took u to the local zoo once a year?
Do u wish ur parents were rich enough 2 afford this $1,495 stroller?
Should this bike come in ‘fixed gear’ mode? [via no brakes]
Should parents give up all efforts to ‘exercise’ and focus on their kids?
Does this bike seem functional, or will u get in a wreck and kill ur baby?

Is the new LCD Soundsystem song ‘authentic’ or a ‘let down’?

Posted: 26 Mar 2010 06:15 AM PDT


’s latest song ‘leaked’ / was ’strategically released.’ The name of the song is ‘Drunk Girls.’ It seems to be some sort of ‘ode’ to drunken skanks at parties. Like girls who u want to prey on because u know they can be ‘taken advantage of.’ It seems like a fun / well-crafted song, like something that you feel okay with mp3 bloggers perpetuating as ‘good’/’something to be excited about’…but still…something feels missing? Was sort of hoping for some ‘thick’ disco wave.

Not sure how to feel about this song. Seems potentially ‘good.’ Also might resent it for ‘trying hard 2 crossover’ and become some song played in a mainstream movie montage where a girl is ‘out of control.’ Or maybe something in a Vince Vaughn Wedding Crashers type of movie. The song seems like a ‘more mainstream version of the song about Daft Punk playing at my House.’

Is going to ‘win’ the best album of the year contest?
Will this album be critically acclaimed?
R u happy that this is the final album?
Will MGMT ever recover from their disastrous album release?
Is this song a ‘relevant anthem’ or something forced?
Is James Murphy trying to rebrand as some sort of ‘predator’?
Have u ever made sure a girl got drunk so u can take advantage of her?

Sample other song called “Pow Pow”: http://www.juno.co.uk/products/Pow-Pow/386997-01/