Wednesday, February 24, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Maltstream Photographer Terry Richardson Chills with Jersey Shore Bro Bags

Posted: 24 Feb 2010 01:35 PM PST

Link: http://www.terrysdiary.com/post/409535935/me-mike-the-situation-vinny-ronnie-and-dj-pauly


Terry Richardson has been branded as an ‘alt photographer’ who was often associated with a ‘gritty, raw’ aesthetic.  I am not sure if he is ‘alt.’ Seems to have ‘turned the mainstream corner’ with Vice Magazine.  Most of the memes he produces have to do with mainstream stuff / ppl.  Seems good for his career to get ‘ hits’, and good for websites since he produced enough photos to generate a ‘photo gallery.’

It seems like all of those bros are ‘getting fat’ now that they are famous + don’t work out an more.  Worried that their muscle man boobs are turning into moobs of flab.

Need 2 pump iron.

Need 2 get blowjobs

‘Fist Pump’ joke

Orange skin + human stegosaurus joke

Hope DJ Pauly D becomes a relevant alt DJ in the post blog house dubstep scene

Wish I could be a critically acclaimed photograph, but my parents won’t even buy me a DSLR. Stuck with the point and shoot I got as a high school graduation present. Feel like a ‘fucking loser’ when I hold my camera up 2 get pix at concerts, but feel more authentic

Wish I could have been on , and gone macrofamous.
Wish I could be a photographer for high end brands and magazines.
Wish I had invested in guido memes + guido humor in 2k5.
Hope that a television network does a better job of exploring more angry subcultures, like the MassHole or maybe ‘Mexicans.’

Did Terry Richardson ‘fuck up’ by not taking borderline pornographic pix of the pussy of ?

Is photography ‘art’?

Alt Guy goes to jail for throwing TV at cat

Posted: 24 Feb 2010 01:20 PM PST


This video has ‘made the rounds’, usually under the title “Hipster Guy on Judge Judy.” The Alt Report cannot confirm that this bro is a ‘hipster.’ It seems like he might be more of a biker bro, or maybe just some ‘lost alt’ guy who does something extreme. He seems to think the whole ordeal is a ‘joke’, possibly doesn’t care abt life or society.  He has branded himself as a bro who ‘likes killing animals.’  It seems like a bad idea to kill a cat, especially since cats are so valued in our lolcat meme society.

The alt guy said he was ‘mad wasted’ and didn’t remember throwing a tv across the room and killing the cat.

He also brings his boyfriend on as a witness. It seems like because they are ‘gay’, we can safely say that they are not ‘hipsters’, probably just misguided homosexuals.

I feel like this bro is definitely gay, but the other bro who looks like he is in the band GIRLS is probably just ‘being gay to be alt.’

What seems more difficult, an alt guy killing ur cat, or the process of turning ur cat’s death into a meme [via Judge Judy].

Would yall ‘bang’ this girl, or does she seem like a failed indie girl type?

It seems like these are probably just people who ‘never left their home town’ after college, and ended up getting drunk and getting Red Box movies every night. Glad I avoided the class issues associated with being an apartment dweller.

Who was at fault for this crime?
Can Judge Judy solve every1’s problems?
Has n e 1 ever killed ur cat?
Were these people ‘hipsters’ or is ‘Hipster kills cat’ a misleading headline?

Should the US Government deport M.I.A.?

Posted: 24 Feb 2010 12:54 PM PST


M.I.A. went on her monthly twitter spree, where she says something about , then babbles about other stuff incoherently. Her incoherent babble is sometimes implemented in her music.  Fans are left to ’sort through’ the mess, and cultivate meaning from it. It seems like she goes on a monthly rant/ twit spree in order to ‘maintain’ interest in her product. The truth is that 2010 is a ‘loaded year’, and if she does not make the leap into the rap/hip hop mass market, her entire career might ‘die.’

She is apparently ‘banned from leaving the USA’, and the government seems to have stolen her child from her some how. We cannot confirm these rumors.

Is M.I.A. a terrorist?
Should the ‘deport’ her + ban her from playing in the USA?
Is M.I.A. relevant, or just blog rap ‘gone wrong’?
Will M.I.A.’s 2010 release ‘flop’ commercially and critically?
Could Diplo ‘turn any ethnic woman’ into a rap star?

America: Love it or Leave It
Do yall only support American indie bands?

Are soccer shin guards the new big trendy trend in alt fashion?

Posted: 24 Feb 2010 09:58 AM PST

Photo by Yvan Rodic


I was reading relevant fashion blogs, and I couldn’t help but notice an exciting new trend all around the world. So many people around the world are starting 2 wear shin guards, protective devices over their shins. Maybe it means we r at war, and we need 2 be protected, but maybe it is a tribute 2 the past.

Maybe we are trying to reconnect with our youth. I have read that is the #1 youth sport in America. So many kids on so many fields all across the world, playing the ‘beautiful game.’ Youth are important in facilitating a ‘normalized’ American childhood.

Guess maybe we just want to get back to our ‘field of dreams’, running around in our bright uniform, eating oranges at halftime, running under a tunnel of arms created by our parents, getting to eat a snack after the game. All of these meaningful moments culminate with ‘going out for a pizza party at the end of the season.’

Felt relieved that my parents weren’t poor, and could always bring a ’sweet ass snack’ for the team after the game. Felt bad for poor kids whose parents didn’t ‘man up’ and drop some dollars on a premium snack.

The quality of snack ur parents brought on your assigned day was generally indicative of their parenting philosophy, and how far u would get in life.

Not sure if I would be down with gogurt as a snack. Seems sorta gimmicky and ‘half assed.’

Just want to go back in time, b4 my parents were divorced. Back when my dad still thought it was ‘worth it’ 2 stay with our family since we were young. Back we he was an ‘assistant coach’ 4 my team.

Want to jam an orange wedge in my mouth, pretend it is a mouth guard, hope it protects me as I grow up and encounter new challenges in our world.

Shin guards, here 2 protect me. Here 2 take my brand to the next level.

So many different styles. just want to find some that match my personal brand. Hope Am Appy starts to manufacture them soon.

Maybe I will make my own conceptual shin guards, made from the bark of a sacred tree. WWACD (what would AnCo do?) // WWFFD (what would fleet foxes do?)

Sorta worried that the shin guard trend might be manufactured viral marketing for the upcoming World Cup in South Africa, sorta like Die Antwoord.

I miss the green grass
I miss the competition
I miss bonding with other kids, b4 I felt ‘different’ than all of them
I miss the bond between coach and player, father and son
I miss my ’ mom.’

Mom. She could do anything. Raise 2-4 kids with minimal emotional or physical support from our father. Get us to school, keep our grades up, and keep us ‘enriched’ with youth and miscellaneous community educational activities. I will not become you, mom. Not only because I sorta h8 what u represent, but also bc I am not strong enough 2 do what u did.

This trend is 4 u, mom and dad. I know u think I have grown up, and I just wear things arbitrarily in order to ‘look cool.’ Not this time. This means something to me. These shin guards r 4 u.

Will u start wearing shin guards?
Will shin guards be the next authentic alt trend?
Did u play youth ?
Did ur parents prevent u from playing youth when they didn’t have enough time?
Who will win the World Cup?
Is ‘going out 4 a pizza party’ as a kid one of the formative ‘bro chill session experiences’ in ur life?

Were the Ninja Turtles a marketing tool for the pizza industry?