I was reading some mainstream snarky blogs and zany meme aggregators, and they showed off some guy who had a model of child predator glasses tattooed on to his face. Some people said that he is a ‘hipster’, but I feel like he might be more of a GenX-alt4lifer, who probably has a bartending job or something. Most people who have invested heavily in tattoos don’t have a ‘real job’, unless they are an African American professional athlete.
It seems like people who get tattoos ‘just want to bring more attention to their personal brand’, but this bro took it a step further. After covering his whole body with tattoos, he needed something more than I.R.L. ppl looking at him like ‘omg.’ He needed to create a lil bit of social media that ‘took the internet by storm.’
The process seems straightforward.
Have a ‘tattoo artist’ doodle/trace some glasses on to ur face/skull.
Make sure every1 is chill.
Make sure my mnstrm bro is filming it
Try not 2 ‘lol’ cuz of the pain.
Reassure urself. Say ‘when ppl look at my body during my open casket funeral, they will see an old man who had zany glasses tattied on to his face. They will truly understand me. This tatty is worth it 4 my long term brand goals.’
Get ready 4 the ink gun.
Bleeding a lil bit. Feeling pain.
Need 2 take a breather since it hurts so much.
Almost done… Wonder if a ‘tattoo artist’ has the same skills as a ’sandwich artist’ [via Subway].
Does my GF like it? She will look into this face as I make love 2 her. This face will sit across from her parents at Thnxgvng dnnr. These bifocals will enhance the view of my son exiting her birth canal. This bro is me.
Feeling pumped about my new brand. Like I could get a job at some sort of rugged Gen X alt lifestyle magazine like Vice or Street Carnage and Television Boners.
Feel happy 2 b alive. Feel happy 2 have a girl who will support me no matter what.
Is this bro a ‘hipster’? Is this a ‘hipster meme’ that is as strong as ‘the hipster olympics’? Is this bro ‘trying 2 hard’? Is this bro ‘fucking bad ass’ and ‘not a pussy like u’ because he got a face tat? What type of sunglasses would u get tattooed on to ur face? Wayfarers? Child Preds? Shuttershades? Is this bro’s brand enhanced, or ‘in the shitter’ with his new face tat? Is Mike Tyson the ultimate face tat bro? Do u think he could hold down a job in Corporate Middle America? Do u think this decade will have solid human memes? Does it ‘hurt’ 2 get a tattoo? Is the only pain that hurts u ‘emotional pain’? Is there more 2 life than ‘how kewl u look’? Is the GenX alternative brand ‘too raw’ 4 u, like they don’t value their own consumer power?
Do u ever miss ‘the old u’, before u transitioned ur brand into something totally new and different? Ever just wish u could go back in time and chill with ur bros, back b4 everything got complicated? Do u ever regret some of the personal branding choices/personal interests that ur personal brand implemented/absorbed? Should I get a _________ tattoo on my _________?
