Tuesday, January 12, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Is Noah Cyrus the Future of Alt + the Future of Tween?

Posted: 12 Jan 2010 11:00 AM PST


I was looking at pictures of Miley Cyrus’ lil sister, and she looked familiar. She seemed to have an alternative vibe that I look for when I am searching for ‘prey’ at a relevant concert or meaningful dive bar. Sort of turned on by her entry-level vibe. But if you look closely into her face, she also looks sort of like a 27 year old altbaguette who stopped eating and sort of degenerated into a rich tween looking human–the MaryKateAshOlsen Vibe.

It is always helpful to have parents who cultivate and encourage your alternative spirit. Doin stuff like buying you iPods, trendy clothes, and vlogging equipment.  Wonder if I would have been more alt if I had grown up with a dad with a soul patch.

But at the same time, parents shouldn’t let you become one of those kids who had sex for the first time when they were 6 years old [via hearing that people had sex before their sexual organs could even 'cum'].  Worried abt the lil slut/cunt personal brand.

I just feel really scared of tweens. This decade we will see them grow up, and Gen Y might lose their tastemaking role in the cultural economy.  Not sure if trends will still ’start with us’ in 2k16.  What if we lose control of ‘authenticity’?  What if Pitchfork has to fire their whole staff?

Sorta wish I could build an Avatar, and live in the body of a tween. I would become a tween sensation, and try to inspire the consumer trust of tween audiences.

I would try to sabotage their civilization after learning about their culture from the inside. It would be an experience that would require the best of me. But I might get in trouble if I fall in love with the tween spirit, and accidentally become physically intimate with another tween, since we would both be ‘legal.’

After falling in love with the tween race, I would opt to become one of them. I would live within their culture, and finally feel free. Feel young again. Feel in control. Feel like I still had the opportunity to be ‘alternative’ to something.

//////searching 4 something beyond ‘alt.’ Maybe I’ll just get married or something and create kids of my own. Maybe that’s the only battle I can fight.

If u could be an avatar of anything/any1, what would u be?
a) an alt celeb
b) a pitchfork staff member
c) a twitter celeb with over 1,000,000 followers
d) a rich, yet unfamous person
e) an NBA/NFL player
f) Zach Braff in Garden State
g) a pornographic actor/actress who takes/gives tons of penises
h) a blog
i) a tween
j) a sext message
k) a formative altceleb in a buzzband that is ‘tearing it up’
l) an old person
m) the CEO of facebook.com
n) the CEO of friendster.com
o) the CEO of HRO
p) the CFO of Citibank
q) Michael Jordan
r) Tiger Woods
s) Steven Jobs
t) the internet
u) Choose.Your.Own.Response