Monday, August 30, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

My Parents came to watch my buzzband. For the first time in my life, they looked proud of me.

Posted: 30 Aug 2010 05:32 PM PDT

Photo by thecobrasnake


I was never the best kid growing up. My parents had big hopes for me, and I tended to excel during my formative years. But then something happened. I became less motivated by mainstream success, and instead wanted to carve out my own niche in the world. I didn’t want to go to medical school, become an engineer, or get a job as a stable Certified Public Accountant. Any one can do those jobs. Whether you’d like to accept it or not, you are what you do, and I wasn’t going to do any thing that wasn’t ‘me.’

Needless to say, my parents really didn’t understand what I was doing. They didn’t understand my worthless degree in communications/art/graphic design/cultural anthropology. They didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. The truth is, they really just wanted me to be happy, but they could only project their own happiness on to my life. They worked hard, and they gave us a great childhood, but they didn’t realize that there was a whole scene out there–a network of artists creating beautiful visuals, sounds and content that had the opportunity to be monetized in the eCommerce marketplace.

When I graduated from college, and I told them I wasn’t going to move home, instead I was going to ‘look for a job’ but keep waiting tables and bartending to pay rent and maintain some semblance of independence. They bought into the idea at first, but 3 years later, they wanted to know I had a plan. Law school, Grad School, Teach for America. No way was I going to get into more debt. I would rather live out my life ‘being free’ to do whatever I wanted at night instead of becoming a slave.

I started a music project with a few of my bros. At first we had some mp3s uploaded to a myspace profile, then the blogs came to blog about us. We booked a mini-tour, and before you know it, we were playing a relevant music festival, easily the biggest of our career. It just so happens that my parents live less than 40 minutes away from the festival grounds, and I took this opportunity to invite them so they could see who I was as a person. I lived in a world that they didn’t understand, but this would be their one chance to see a real life interpretation of my scene, my life, my constructed self-image.

They were certainly reluctant to come to the festival, and had it mixed up as a regional pie eating contest that happens at the same park. They were skeptical of the event, but I pleaded with them to come. My mom was a pushover, but my dad was a ‘whole nother beast.’ There was a big game on that day, and I had to promise him that there would be televisions in the VIP section. I had sent them a copy of our CD, but they just used it as a coaster in their living room. My mom told me it sounded good, but she is always pretty positive. The only comment my dad has made about my music was a hurtful joke about our album title to embarrass me at Thanksgiving Dinner.

They made the drive in from suburbia, and I had to haggle with them on the phone for 30 minutes so they could find parking and enter thru the correct gate. Eventually they made it, and they were shocked to see so many young people chilling out in festival attire. They were out of their element, but I could tell that they were nervous about the experience. I took them to VIP, got my mom a White Zinfandel and my father a premium imported beer. I had to be sure not to get too hammered so that I could interact with my parents, and multi-task, since I was an instrumentalist in our band, similar to the ginger bro in the Arcade Fire who ‘bangs a huge drum’ during “Wake Up.”

We went on stage, and the crowd roared. Seems like blog coverage paid off, and we had a lot of fans in the crowd who had heard about us through miscellaneous social networks and chat clients. Even though our album leaked, u could tell that fans were familiar with the material, so it was all worth it. Throughout the set, I would look over at my parents. They watched my every move. Their faces were a mix between ‘wtf is he doing’ and ‘that’s my son up there.’ I finally saw my dad look proud of me–I hadn’t seen that since I quit tee-ball because I pulled out my weiner while I was running the bases.

After the show, my mom came over and hugged me, even though I was covered in sweat from jamming so fucking hard. My dad shook my hand. He said, “You did it son. It looks like you know what you’re doing, and you’re happy. That’s what’s important. There’s something I never told you. I used to play guitar in a shoegaze band, but I had to get a job at the factory so that we could put down a down payment on our first house. If you had seen the look on your mother’s face when she first saw that house, you’d understand that it was worth it to see her smile at any cost. That’s what love is, son. And I love you. I’m sorry about my distant feelings towards you and my inability to express complex emotions. I didn’t want you to pursue music because I didn’t want you to feel the pain I felt when I had to hang it up. I’m sorry for making you play youth sports. I’m sorry for wanting you to get a high paying job that offered you the opportunity to have a comfortable life. This is what it means to be a father. I am so proud of you.”

We all group hugged. Even if we were flat on a few songs, and the visuals behind us weren’t synced up perfectly during the set, I had a reason to be happy.

All those years, it all paid off. I thought they did’t understand me, but they wanted to protect me. Protect me from failure. Protect me from chasing the unattainable. They were mad at me when I was just floating around my mid-20s. But it worked out. I’m not saying it’s gonna work out for you, but if you give it your best shot, there’s a chance. And that’s what life’s all about–putting yourself in positions where good things can happen. Don’t quit before you even started.

I don’t care about blog buzz, mainstream record deal dollars, pitchfork scores, or banging hot alt bitches. Even though being in a buzzband is perceived as a cool lifestyle with infinite perks, giving you the chance to ‘stay young forever’, at the end of the day, it’s all about family. I love my family.

Thanks for coming out to see our band, mom and dad. What did you think of the show?

Is family more important than buzz?
Is family more important than your alt identity?
Do u dream that one day your parents will have a reason to be proud of you for succeeding at your alternative pursuits?
Have your parents given up on you?
Do ur parents think that ur ‘gay’ / ‘a hippie’ /a failure because ur alt?

3 Bros go to an Am Eaggy at their local mall, purchase BRO HATS

Posted: 30 Aug 2010 02:48 PM PDT


The BRO HAT is a hat designed by American Eagle Apparel Outfitters [link]. The hat is designed to showcase that you are a bro, and if you are wearing the bro hat within a larger network of bros, you seem like hella chill authentic bros. Other bros will see ur network, and want to join ur network of bros.

It seems like this group of three bros were like, ‘hey, we’re bros. let’s go ahead and get some bro hats.’ They went to their local mall in suburbia, and purchased 3 hats, wearing them out of the store–no need for a bag for authentic bros. These bros are serious about being bros

Do they seem ‘chill’?
What kind of bros are these bros?
Will u and ur bros get bro hats?
Do u think they got a soft pretzel while they were at the mall? Maybe some Dippin Dots or froyo? Maybe a cookie cake?
Has Am Eaggy officially replaced Am Appy?

Really need a bro hat pretty bad

Do true bros wear bro hats?
Is the bro hat trying to ‘consumerize’ the spirit of bro?
Do true bros all dress alike/wear uniforms?
Should I invest in Am Eaggy stock?

CONTROVERSIAL PHOTO: WAVVES smokes dank out of an apple pipe

Posted: 30 Aug 2010 01:40 PM PDT

Link: http://www.loudandquiet.com/2010/08/wavves-cover-shoot-gallery/#


So stoned
Living life as a buzzband
Can’t carry ‘pipes’ and ‘weed’ on the road
or else we’ll get our asses ‘thrown in the slammer’
while driving thru the Bible Belt

so danked
out of an apple pipe
or an ‘apple bong’
or an ‘apple hookah’
don’t care what u call it
just know I’m effed beyond belief

so lifted
Seems like in order 2 get an ‘interview’ with me
all u have to do is bring ‘premium dank’
and I’ll open up, relax, be myself
talk some jive

Another bro in my band vibing out to some apple weed.

Riding dank waves
might make a weed smoking bong out of a Mountain Dew Can
vibe out Green Label Sound style

life as a buzzband
just need a way
2 deal with the pain
make the days go by
escape from the prison that is my mind

can u become ‘addicted’ 2 weed?
What kind of fruit do yall prefer 2 smoke out of?
What type of fruit ‘gets u the highest’?

Unchill Skinheads murder a tween, crush her skull at a relevant music festival

Posted: 30 Aug 2010 09:21 AM PDT

Link: http://gawker.com/5625042/skinheads-attack-crowd-of-3000-kill-14+year+old


Just read about this story about Russian ‘crashing’ a music festival, attacking the concertgoers, and killing a 14 year old girl. It’s the sort of thing that ur not sure if it is real, since u assume all foreign news services are just ‘nationalist propaganda’ that are meant to ‘control the masses.’ Not sure if this is real, but seems to combine ‘’ + ‘music festival coverage’ which is basically like an ‘alt blog’s dream.’ Could probably use some sort of suicide in the headline as well.

Anyways, seems like a chill music festival that ‘got out of hand’ ‘very quickly.’

According to local news reports, a group of about 100 bare-chested wielding “batons, sticks and iron rods” rushed past festival security and just sort of… started beating people up, I guess.

Seems like thsi bro just wanted to vibe out to buzzbands, but ended up getting a ‘knuckle sandwich’, American History X style.

News portal Chelnovosti.ru—the source of the report of the teenage girl’s death, which it attributes to an anonymous police source—says that police and security just stood by and allowed the attack to happen, and in some cases had their nightsticks taken away by the , for the purpose of beating on people. The site has a bunch of photos that, yeah, seem to show police just sort of chilling, though it’s pretty hard to tell what’s going on, given that the photographer, for some reason, doesn’t seem to have wanted to get too close to the large crowd of shirtless neo-nazis.

Here is a photo of the cops ‘milling around with their thumbs up their asses’. Seem to vibing out, sending texts, eating free turkey legs, being Paul Blart Mall Cops.

Here is some video footage of the planning their attack, then crashing the music festival, humiliating minorities + committing mad acts of .

In addition, they eventually challenged the organizers of the festival to a game of basketball in order to claim the rights to the festival territory. It seems like the skin heads won after a ‘highly dramatic game.’

Seems so unchill. Bros just wanted to check out buzzbands, then a bunch of ruined festival chill vibes.

Do yall h8 ?
What do even stand 4?
Is ‘white supremacy’ totally auth alt, or ‘bullshit’?
Are all white people racist?
Are black people more racist than white people?
Do too many minorities attend music festivals, ruining festival bloodlines?
Are you more worried about getting murdered/trampled by tweens at a music festival, or by ?
Will ‘crash’ Coachella / Lolla / ACL?
Do care about buzzbands and relevant consumer + technology trends?
Do they need to ride chillwaves?
Should festivals be required to hire SWAT Team + riot police instead of just ‘rentacops’?
Are music festivals getting out of control?

NYTimes does article on ‘effing hipster freegans’ who ‘go dumpster diving’ behind Whole Foods

Posted: 30 Aug 2010 07:04 AM PDT

Link: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/28/nyregion/28metjournal.html


Not sure what the is trying to do. I guess create ‘compelling cultural content’ that is sharable + can ‘drive mad hits.’ Anyways, they made another zany article about ‘hipsters in Brooklyn’ have ‘started to’ ‘dumpster dive’ behind high-end grocery stores. Feel like when I am hungry 4 food, I just go 2 the store and pay for it.

Can’t imagine riding the freegan wave [via salmonella waves].

Not sure if this writing is ‘real.’ Maybe NYTimes is now just some sort of complex art piece/satirical commentary on modern journalistic techniques:

The Dumpster divers started their bicycle run just after nightfall on a summer Friday, rolling through the steamy streets of Williamsburg and Greenpoint, stopping only to dig through trash bags and pull out produce. They wore plastic gloves for the messier bags and used a flashlight on the darker stretches of sidewalk. Then they loaded their finds onto a cargo bike, retied the bags and cycled on.

The goal was to find enough food to supply an every-other-week gathering called Grub, which one founder has described as "a cheap, simple dinner for friends and co-conspirators." It is a communal meal created from food that would otherwise have been wasted — and that many people might not deign to eat.

Feel like I’d rather go to a gathering called “Grub” if it was hosted at Golden Corral / Chili’s / some franchise chain with quality control.

h8 freegans sooo much
Wish they were forced to get Costco memberships and just ‘load up’ in the bulk. Not sure how I feel about members of society who are happy to ‘just eat discarded leftovers.’ We really need a society filled with people who want to eat at fancy steak houses every night so that we don’t lose 2 the Chinese in WW3.

Here is some paragraph where they romanticize the ‘amazing items’ that they found. Honestly feel like u have a ‘better selection’ when u go into the store and browse, instead of just looking in some trash bags:

So Jessie Martens grabbed a bruised cantaloupe and some shiny heirloom tomatoes from a curb in front of a supermarket on Union Avenue. Eric Levinson found bottles of organic juice being discarded outside a building near the Pulaski Bridge. And on Bedford Avenue, Phoebe Gray and Eric Lewis sifted through seven bags of trash before uncovering a bounty of kale, blackberries and peppers, as well as a punctured avocado that Mr. Lewis called "premade guacamole."

Wonder if my local grocery store can start offering ‘pre-made guacamole’ by puncturing avocados in the fresh produce section.
Really just want to get ‘more sustainable’, live a ‘greener life’, and utilize

Is ‘dumpster diving behind Whole Foods’ a better solution than ‘shopping at WalMart’?
Do yall prefer super-sized non-organic produce + meat + poultry?
Might just buy some non-organic boneless, skinless chicken breasts and make a meal.

Feel like this might have been some sort of ‘produce placement’ inspired advertorial. Kinda just want to buy some pita chips and TRIBE HUMMUS. Maybe I can dive in2 a dumpster and find a smart snack.

They tried to make it seem like they ‘crafted a gourmet meal’ out of the trash food. Not sure if I believe that they ‘scored’ all of that food.

Wonder if homeless people know how to make ‘gourmet meals’ after they dumpster dive, or if they just eat raw meat to stay alive, like some sort of authentic urban animal/savage.

Worried that they are portraying this place as some sort of indie/alt/crusty form of ‘heaven’:

Songs by Alex Chilton and Charlotte Gainsborough played through speakers. Ornaments and cardboard cutouts in the shape of stars and planets were suspended from the ceiling with ribbon, and a breeze blew through a skylight. Kale and sweet potato stir fry sizzled on a stove. Somebody made a jumbo salad. Somebody else uncorked a bottle of wine.


Should they open a restaurant and charge ‘high prices’?
Do yall know people who ‘do this kind of shit’?
Do u wish they’d just go vibe out at a pizza buffet?

Here is how the night/article ended. Seems deep.

The light faded. People took turns playing a mandolin as trucks rumbled in the streets below. As darkness fell, the dinner guests climbed back down the iron ladder, carrying empty plates and glasses.

Have yalll ever been dumpster diving?
What did u find? Did the food make u sick / give u food poisoning / ‘the runs’?
If food is in the trash, is it safe to eat it?
Do u abide by a ’10 second rule’?
Should dumpster divers ‘be arrested’?
Do u ‘call bullshit’ on this event/trend?
Should I shop at Target, Walmart, or just dumpster dive?
Do u h8 how grocery stores and restaurants are required to throw away food?
Should we just create some sort of ‘system’ where that food is given to homeless people, alts, and freegans?
Does Whole Foods need to burn/cremate all of their old food so that homeless people + freegans don’t have access to it?
Does ‘trash’ belong 2 no1, or is it the owner’s right as an American to know that their garbage wasn’t re-used or recycled in any format?
Did the write ‘another brilliant article’, or are you tired of ‘hipster trend pieces’?
Do u think they should use the word ‘hipster’ more freely in articles/blog post titles, instead of trying to work around it?
Should I go dumpster diving behind Chili’s and pick up some Fajitas, bottomless chips and salsa, and SXSWestern Eggrolls?
Should I go dumpster diving behind _________ and pick up some ___________________?

Pitchfork gives Twin Shadow ‘Best New Music’, confirms status as ‘legitimate 2k10 buzzband’

Posted: 30 Aug 2010 06:01 AM PDT

Link: http://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/11967-slow/


2k10 has been one of the most severe buzz droughts in the history of the blogosphere, without any new, exciting artists to hype. Back in 2k9, the buzzband harvest was bountiful, but many blogs have been dying in 2k10 without enough authentic content to publish, bands to buzz, mp3s to share 4 free. Maybe people just stopped making music, or the music that they all decided to make ‘sucks hard.’ Then Twin Shadow ‘came along’, and became the ‘only harvestable buzzband of 2k10′, meaning that it is the only band who had the potential to ‘evolve into something more’ than just ‘another crappy “brooklyn-based” buzzband that only gave us half of a decent MP3.’

Seems to be a ‘gushing’ review of Twin Shadow, confirming that Twin Shadow has the opportunity to be a ‘bright spot’ of 2k10:

Mining the lush, romantic sounds of 1980′s new wave isn’t exactly a new conceit, but it’s still plenty potent when it’s done well. George Lewis Jr., who records synth pop as Twin Shadow, seems to know what he’s doing. Lewis’ forthcoming debut, Forget, is being put out by Terrible Records, the label run by Grizzly Bear production wizard Chris Taylor.

The review goes on to compare the sound of the song to Echo and the Bunnymen, the Police, and Morissey. Seems intense.

Should I hire a member of Grizzly Bear /a relevant buzzband to be my life coach/producer, so I can get ‘more buzz’?

Many alts are awaiting the Pitchfork rating of Twin Shadow’s album Forget. It seems like there is ‘potential’ for this album to break the /Best Coast barrier of 8.4. Some experts say that this album is likely to score in the 7.8-8.2 range, but others look for Pitchfork to make a ‘bold statement’ by

What score do u think Twin Shadow will get?
Does Twin Shadow deserve a higher score than Best Coast + WAVVING?
Will BC+ be forgotten if P4k decides to honor Twin Shadbro with a higher score than them?

Will Twin Shadow ‘catch on’ with authentic alternative markets?
Is Twin Shadow the new chillwave/The XX/Ariel Pink/etc?
Can Twin Shadow produce high level conceptual memes for the blogosphere to ‘devour’ like ‘hungry lions’ during this buzz drought?
Is Twin Shadow truly ‘best new music’, or does p4k hand those badges out ‘too freely’ for it to mean anything these days?